LACUNA

Real Name: Woodstock Schumaker (see comments)

Identity/Class: Human mutant

Occupation: Talk show host of “Lacuna & the Stars”

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: her parents; the Law Offices of Williams, Williams, & Williams (her lawyers); X-Force/X-Statix (the Anarchist, Dead Girl, Doop, El Guapo, Henrietta Hunter, the Orphan, Phat, the Spike, U-Go Girl, Venus Dee Milo, Vivisector);
supplied information by Dicky

Enemies: Bad Guy, Spike Freeman, Mister Code, Mysterious Fan Boy (although not to his knowledge), unnamed killer hired by Mr. Code

Known Relatives: Calvin Schumaker (father), Denise Schumaker (mother)

Aliases: Eighth X-Static

Place of Birth: Malibu, California

Base of Operations: Presumably mobile

First Appearance: X-Force I#121 (December, 2001)

Powers/Abilities: Lacuna could open fractures in time, allowing her to travel in between seconds and affect others while they are locked in time.

Height: 5' 7"
Weight: 127 lbs.
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde

History: (X-Force I#121) - While X-Force was reviewing footage of a possible new member of the team called the Spike, U-Go Girl’s hats kept changing from one second to the next. Later, as the Orphan and the Anarchist relaxed poolside, fish suddenly appeared in the pool, much to the horror of the scantily-clad women also relaxing with the duo. Finding the appearance of fish very strange, the Anarchist looked up and noticed the word “Lacuna” painted on the wall. The Anarchist then consulted the knowledge of team member Vivisector in the library. Vivisector explained that the word “Lacuna” means “a missing portion...especially in a manuscript or text” and that it could also be “a missing part of someone’s life.” During the discussion, the group did not notice that the word “Lacuna” also appeared to be painted on the wall of the library, as well. Not long after, as the Orphan and U-Go Girl discussed U-Go Girl’s talk show pilot, Lacuna used her powers to travel between seconds and paint her name onto the wall and went completely unnoticed. Back at her home, Lacuna joined her parents for dinner. She decided that she was going to give her dinner to homeless people, to which her father replied that there were no homeless people around their home. Lacuna explained that she would "leave the gates" then (go further afield outside her home), but this only provoked her parents into suggesting they should all leave, and go shopping in Santa Monica. Unhappy that she had been unable to disappoint her parents as she had intended, Lacuna put her plate back down and decided not to give her food away. Up in her room, she watched on television as X-Force initiated their newest member, the Spike, at a press conference. Much later, as X-Force relaxed poolside, Lacuna made her grand entrance and introduced herself. She revealed that she had been the one doing all of the crazy stuff to the team and that she wanted to join them. She then exclaimed that if the team declined her offer to join them, she would throw herself in the boiling pool water (which the Anarchist had heated up right before her entrance).

(X-Force I#122) - X-Force declined her offer and Lacuna claimed that she would prove herself to them. She then traveled between seconds once again, and stole U-Go Girl’s talk show script. Once she returned home, Lacuna revealed her mutant powers to her parents. They were delighted, much to the frustration of Lacuna, who had hoped she could find a way to disappoint them. On the night of U-Go Girl’s talk show debut, Lacuna and her parents were part of the studio audience. During the show, a fight broke out between the members of X-Force, which Lacuna solved by using her powers to travel between seconds and remove everyone’s clothing. On the air, Lacuna revealed her official candidacy for membership in X-Force. Angered, U-Go Girl demanded that Lacuna return their clothing, which Lacuna did. Later that night, U-Go Girl had dinner with the Orphan to discuss Lacuna’s candidacy. During the dinner, Lacuna used her powers to put U-Go Girl’s martini glass on her head, before revealing herself to the pair. The Orphan told her that he voted Lacuna onto the team and Lacuna happily exited. She then traveled between seconds and kissed the Anarchist without his knowledge. Later still, during the press conference to announce Lacuna’s membership, Lacuna did not turn up. Instead, she was given U-Go Girl’s talk show, which was re-named “Lacuna & the Stars,” much to the disappointment of her parents, who broke into tears.

(Brotherhood#9) - Lacuna joined X-Force in appearing in a parade in their honor.

(X-Force I#129) - Following the death of U-Go Girl, the Orphan pointed a gun to his head. Suddenly, the gun became a plunger and the Orphan demanded that Lacuna show herself. Lacuna then appeared, holding the Orphan’s gun. He snatched the gun from her, but she used her powers to travel between seconds and returned, once again holding his gun and leaving the Orphan holding a rose. She then invited him to appear on her show and announce the new name of X-Force. The Orphan agreed and went on her show to announce that X-Force was going to be renamed X-Statix in U-Go Girl’s honor.

(X-Statix#5) - Lacuna watched on television as X-Statix revealed its newest member, the Mysterious Fan Boy. Later, as X-Statix went out for dinner, Lacuna appeared and asked to join the party. She invited the Mysterious Fan Boy to go on her show and reveal his true identity, but the Orphan demanded she leave. Venus Dee Milo then teleported X-Statix back to their Santa Monica HQ. Still wanting a story for her show, Lacuna used her powers to sneak into their HQ and unmask the Mysterious Fan Boy, revealing him to be Arnie Lundberg, a mutant who formerly controlled a small Minnesota town. Angered, the Orphan visited Lacuna’s dressing room and demanded she help him to make up for her unmasking of the Mysterious Fan Boy. During X-Statix’s next mission, Lacuna upheld her deal with the Orphan by using her powers to allow her to fatally inject the Fan Boy’s heart with chemicals that caused it to strain. Lacuna later met with the Orphan at a secluded beach and she expressed her anger at him for pressuring her to murder the Fan Boy. The Orphan became angry as well and announced that he was quitting X-Statix. Lacuna then grabbed her cell phone and cancelled her show for the next day.

(X-Statix#6) - Lacuna went on her show and announced that she had been morally blackmailed into aiding in the murder of the Mysterious Fan Boy. She then asked her fans whether they liked the good Guy Smith (a.k.a. the Orphan) or the “Bad Guy” who had quit X-Statix. The Anarchist and Dead Girl appeared on her show in support of “Bad Guy,” and Vivisector and Phat appeared in support of “Good Guy.” A few days later, during the taping of another episode of “Lacuna & the Stars,” a villain called the Bad Guy crashed Lacuna’s set and attacked her. She fled the scene using her mutant powers.

(X-Statix#7) - Lacuna met with X-Statix in an attempt to cut them a deal on the Bad Guy story. Basically, the team would attack the Bad Guy and unmask him, revealing his identity to X-Statix and also revealing it for the cameras of “Lacuna & the Stars.” Lacuna tagged along with X-Statix during their attack on the Bad Guy, but discovered that one of the many stolen costumes worn by the Bad Guy prevented her from using her powers to touch him.

(X-Statix#13) - Newly resurrected pop star Henrietta Hunter appeared on “Lacuna & the Stars” and discussed with Lacuna how hard it was to be accepted by X-Statix.

(X-Statix#15) - When X-Statix arrived to re-kill Henrietta Hunter, Lacuna appeared and talked the team out of killing her. The team, instead, invited Henrietta to join X-Statix.

(X-Statix#16) - Once Henrietta joined X-Statix, she quickly became team leader and was named the new U. S. Secretary of Homeland Defense. She focused a lot of her time on charities and fashion shows, which caused the public to backlash against her. The Orphan met with Lacuna, who seemed to think that X-Statix had planned for the public to hate Henrietta. During their discussion, Lacuna attempted to hit on the Orphan, who pushed her away. Lacuna fell back into a glass table and cut her arm. Angered, she quickly used her powers to travel away from the Orphan and onto the sidewalk outside. While walking down the street, Lacuna was confronted by Europan government agent Dicky, who gave her folders containing evidence against X-Statix. Later that evening, Lacuna once again met with the Orphan and expressed her love for him. She then informed him that she had come into the possession of documents that connect Spike Freeman to Saddam Hussein. The Orphan suggested she release the documents, but, as she began to cry, she explained that Spike Freeman was not the only one who would be affected by the documents. The Orphan angrily explained the situation to the rest of X-Statix and Spike Freeman explained that the team shouldn’t worry about Lacuna, especially with all of the “random killings” that had been happening lately. Knowing that this meant Spike intended that Lacuna would be next, the Orphan furiously kicked Spike Freeman so hard that it broke Spike’s neck. Later that night, as Lacuna was leaving her television studio, she was shot by one of the random killers hired by Mister Code.

(X-Statix#17) - As Lacuna lay injured on the ground, the Orphan angrily used his levitation powers to float to the roof where the random killer was located. He attacked the killer and knocked him out, only to find that his body contained a bomb. During the Orphan’s battle with the killer, an ambulance arrived and drove Lacuna to a local hospital, where her parents blamed X-Statix for her injury. Later, the Orphan and Vivisector attempted to find out who Lacuna’s lawyers were, so they could locate the incriminating documents. The Orphan felt Lacuna’s pulse, while Vivisector read from the yellow pages. When Vivisector read off Williams, Williams, & Williams, the Orphan felt Lacuna’s pulse change, giving them the answer that they sought. Unfortunately, Lacuna’s lawyers withheld the documents and released them to the press on television. During the newscast, the reporter went on location to the hospital in which Lacuna was located at, where her parents asked the country to pray for her.

(X-Statix#19) - On “Lacuna & the Stars,” the medics brought Lacuna on the air on a gurney. The guest host claimed that God and the world’s prayers would save Lacuna and pulled her off of life support. Thinking that the guest host was killing Lacuna, X-Statix teleported into her television studio and demanded that the guest host take his hands off Lacuna. Lacuna got up and claimed that she had been saved by the power of prayer, much to the confusion of Doop. A few days later, after Vivisector had his powers removed by Dr. Alex Finlay, Finlay and Vivisector (as normal, non-mutant Myles Alfred) went on “Lacuna & the Stars” to demonstrate that Myles was completely devoid of his mutant powers.

Comments: Created by Peter Milligan and Michael Allred.

It was never revealed whether Woodstock was a first or last name, but her parents called her Woodstock, so I ASSume it could be her first name, since her parents wouldn't call her by her last name...

A valid hypothesis, though "Even my parents call me Mulder". It's also conceivable, given her family's interpersonal relationships, that Woodstock is a nickname that she chose in the hope of annoying her parents, only to find them accepting and using it. - Loki

Since her parents were (presumably) intended to be stereotypical quasi-hippie liberals, they named her "Woodstock" after the famous 1969 music festival; unlike Captain Hip and Sunshine, who named their daughter "T. Ruth," Lacuna's parents are probably too young to have been "actual" hippies, but the principle is the same. That or when she was little they nicknamed her "Woodstock" because she was small, blonde, and behaved in some cute way that was suggestive of a bird.
--Ronald Byrd

OHotMU 2006#6 revealed that Woodstock really was her first name. Her last name and the names of her parents were revealed in Lacuna's entry in OHOTMU A-Z HC#6.

Profile by Proto-Man.

Clarifications:

This character, Lacuna, has no known connections to

John Williams has no known connection to


JOHN WILLIAMS

John Williams was one of the lawyers working for the law firm of Williams, Williams, and Williams. When Lacuna was presented with incriminating evidence against X-Statix, she gave the documents to her lawyers. When X-Statix stormed the law offices in an attempt to destroy the documents, John Williams introduced himself. He explained that he had in his possession copies of the documents and that X-Statix was screwed.

-- X-Statix#17

 

 


images:

X-Force I#121, p21, panel 3 (Lacuna full body, in costume)
X-Force I#121, p11, panel 2 (Lacuna headshot)
X-Statix#17, p9, panel 4 (John Williams)


X-Force I#121-122 (December 2001-January 2002) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (artist), Axel Alonso (editor)
Brotherhood#9 (March 2002) - X (writer), Sean Phillips (pencils), Kent Williams (inks), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Force I#129 (August 2002) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (artist), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Statix#5 (January, 2003) - Peter Milligam (writer), Paul Pope (artist), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Statix#6-7 (February-March 2003) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (artist), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Statix#13 (October 2003) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (artist), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Statix#15-17 (December 2003-February 2004) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (pencils) J. Bone (inks), Axel Alonso (editor)
X-Statix#19 (April 2004) - Peter Milligam (writer), Mike Allred (pencils), Nick Crane (inks), Axel Alonso (editor)


Last updated: 03/22/14

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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