BZZK'JOH
Real Name: Bzzk'Joh
Identity/Class: Extradimensional (Megrim) demon-hybrid nutjob empire-ruler guy
Occupation: Conqueror, Ruler
Group Membership: Leader and creator of the Imperium Emporium
Affiliations: "Dill"+giant housefly+"Salty Kong" (creations)
Enemies: Dakimh the Enchanter, Howard the Duck, Jennifer Kale, Man-Thing, NAAC-P30, Korrek the Barbarian, TuTu
Known Relatives: Sombra (mother), insane warrior (father); unnamed siblings
Aliases: Berserk Joe (that's how his name is pronounced)
Base of Operations: The Deathstore, located in the center of the Universe; formerly Megrim
First Appearance: Howard the Duck I#22 (March, 1978)
Powers: Bzzk'joh was supposed to have "power beyond measure, " but he himself never demonstrated any spectacular abilities. Perhaps his power was the creation and control of the Emporium itself.
History: (HtD I#22(fb)) - Bzzk'joh is a
native of the dimension of Megrim, which is ruled by its immortal
demon queen, Sombra. Every millenium or two, Sombra abducts the
most savage of warriors from their homeworlds and bring them to
Megrim to engage in a battle that only one would survive.
The "winner"
would become Sombra's mate, and would die as a result--she is a
succubus, and drains their soul. From this hideous and deadly
union, invariably issues a child suffused with power beyond
measure. Sombra looses that child on the universe to wreak havoc
and whatnot.
Sombra's nature is not precisely evil, but more aptly described
as humorless. Her offspring have historically tended less to
violence than to spiritual anesthesia. Once matured, Sombra's
offspring can be halted only by an equally powerful force
dedicated to joy.
This milennium, something went awry. This time, the lone warrior
to survive the tournament did so only because he was too insane
to stop fighting even though he'd been hacked and stabbed within
an inch of his life. This lunatic gladiator was more than happy
to sacrifice his life for a chance to get busy with Sombra. This
child, Bzzk'Joh, has inherited both his mother's depressive
tendencies and his father's madness.
(HtD#22-23) - Bzzk'Joh, now the head of the
Imperium Emporium, sought to take over the multiverse, raze the
current plane of existence, and replace it with a strip-mall. As
Joh's madness began to spread throughout the universe, a number
of bizarre creations began to appear, attacking those who might
oppose him. Dakimh summoned a group of warriors to stop Joh, and
revealed Joh's origins in the Waters of Eternity. However, Dakimh
himself could not actively participate (being dead and all) and
vanished, telling Jennifer Kale, Korrek, and the Man-Thing,
"The Duck shall lead you!" Joh, however, managed to use
the Waters of Eternity as a portal, appeared suddenly and
abducted Jennifer--threatening to shave her head if any tried to
rescue her.
As Bzz'Joh teleported away, Jennifer released a magical blast
that activated Dakimh's druid-droids, who led the warriors to the
ship, the Epoch Weasel. Under the guidance of the droids, they
headed for the center of the Universe to his base. However, the
Weasel was badly damaged by an assault of an Imperium Emporium
delivery truck. The Weasel managed to lose the truck "on the
upgrade", jumping to another dimension. They
"borrowed" a new ship from the Hollywok Canteen and
managed to break in to the Death Store, just as Joh had begun to
tickle Jennifer mercilessly. Korrek, the Man-Thing, and the
droids fended off attacks by the perfume-wielding Counter Corps,
jumbo paper clips from Stationery, the muscle men of Sporting
Goods, and the Dearth Vapors. Howard again accessed the Farce and
assaulted Joh, accusing him of having no sense of humor. Joh was
devastated and collapsed to the ground in tears. The heroes
escaped as Tutu activated every item in the Toy Department
simultaneously--causing the Death Store to explode.
Comments: Created by Steve Gerber and Val Mayerik.
Most of the story (in case its not painfully obviously), entitled "Star Waaugh", was an obvious parody/homage of Star Wars, which was a new release around the time that HtD#22 was written.
I would be interested to see Gerber tell the story of some of Sombra's other children.
The Waters of Eternity were also called the Waters of Infinity.
CLARIFICATIONS:
Not to be confused with:
Bzzk'Dav, that other guy from the thing with the...not really.
Salty Kong has no known connection to:
Kong Lomerate, Monk Keys, @ Howard the Duck I#10,
Magazine#7
The Imperium Emporium was the
"empire" of Bzzk'Joh. His agents in the Emporium were
in the process of buying up property all over the galaxy, in
every dimension. "Within hours, as bees reckon time, we
shall bulldoze the universe and build on its ruins--a shopping
center unrivalled in its crassness!"
The Death Store is the base of Bzzk'Joh and the
Imperium Emporium. It was based in the center of the Universe. It
was an immense, planet-sized mall. Although it had extensive
security measures, irregularities in its bookkeeping department
provided a vulnerable window. Each of its departments had its own
defense systems, such as the perfume-wielding Counter Corps,
jumbo paper clips from Stationery, the muscle men of Sporting
Goods, and the Dearth Vapors. The Death Store exploded when Tutu
activated every item in the Toy Department at once.
--Howard the Duck I#23
The Dearth Vapors (parodies
of Donny and Marie Osmond, musicians who had a show back in the
seventies--which I am proud to have never seen...) were one
of Bzzk'Joh's final weapons. Their excessive sweetness could
cover their victims in thick, suffocating layers of saccharine.
The Man-thing reacted violenty to their oppressiveness niceness
and shattered the sugary coating with which they had bound he and
Howard. Donny and Tortuga were terrified by the Man-Thing, and,
well, you know how that goes...(Too bad he couldn't meet
their real-life counterparts!)
--Howard the Duck I#23
The Emporium's delivery trucks
served as their attack/defense vessels. While initial salvos from
men's furnishings, such as smal appliances and jewelry, were of
little threat, heavier objects, such as housewares from Mezzanine
or home appliances, such as refrigerators and air conditioners
could do some serious damage.
--Howard the Duck I#23
In addition, the trucks could release their Customer
Service Representative--the ultimate fusion of sonic and
psychological warfare.
--Howard the Duck I#23
Big Mack was based at the
Hollywok Canteen. He's a mean one. He used to be an editor until
he learned he could inflict more pain and humiliation in the
dimensional transport business. He was unwilling to supply a ship
to Korrek since he had no way to pay him. Korrek attacked and
slew him (he pulled the top bun off--I'd guess that killed
him--I'm not sure if the lettuce was a vital organ or not).
--Howard the Duck I#23
Bzzk'Joh's dad is an unnamed
warrior who won Sombra's tournament of death only because he was
too crazy to know he was almost dead. He willing impregnated
Sombra and died happy. Wug, indeed!
--Howard the Duck I#22 (fb)
"Dill" attacked Howard when he went to the fridge to see what Dakimh had to eat. The fury of the pickled cucumber that walks like a man proved too much for the Duck, but fortunately, whatever knows brine gets shredded at the hands of the Man-Thing, and so the bog beast saved Howard. Dill was not actually named, but just shouted a variety of types of pickles, such as "Ko-Chur", "Zweet", and "Rehl-Liissh!"
Howard the Duck I#22
The Epoch Weasel
was Dakimh's ship. He was the original owner, and even though it
sat in the garage for the better part of 20, 000 years, it was
still under warranty by Atlantis R. V. Sales.
While NAAC-P30 operated the
craft, he assured Korrek that "A moron could do it...
Perhaps, you'd care to co-pilot...?" It's cruising speed was
"Bat out of Hell", but for additional bursts of speed,
the "Shake a Leg" function could be accessed. (No
"Ludicrous Speed," though).
--Howard the Duck I#23
The Farce is the binding
energy of the Universe, which permits one to "yok it up in
the face of death."
--Howard the Duck I#22 (Howard the Duck I#22-23
A giant housefly was another
of Bzzk'Joh's creations, sent to attack Howard. Howard smashed it
with a guitar, killing it.
--Howard the Duck I#22

The Hollywok
Canteen is an extra-dimensional pitstop. It is populated
by Californians, who are friendly enough as long as you fit in
with them by acting vapid and self-centered. They became hostile
when Korrek attacked Big Mac. It wasn't that he had hurt their
friend, but more the fact that he had actually done
something--"That's not laid-back, man." Fortunately,
Howard accessed the Farce and fought back. The Californians
collapsed under the weight of their own pretensions-their
inability to accept the ultimate ridiculousness in themselves and
the cosmos.
--Howard the Duck I#23
Megrim is a fiery dimension
ruled by Sombra. It is some sort of mystic realm, usually
accessed by magic, but little else has been revealed about it.
--Howard the Duck I#22 (fb)
NAACP-30 is a druid-droid, the
magical equivalent of a robot.
2222 (TuTu for short) is its complementary unit.
CP-30 guided the heroes in their pursuit of Bzzk'Joh, while TuTu
proved able to access the computer systems of the Emporium and
cause all kinds of good damage.
--Howard the Duck I#23
"Salty Kong" was one
of
It was a giant salt-shaker with ape-like limbs. It attacked
Howard, forced him to the ground, seasoned him liberally, and the
jumped off the roof, commiting suicide.
--Howard the Duck I#22
Sombra is the immortal
demonqueen of the dimension of Megrim. Every milennium or two she
mates with the warrior who wins her tournament of death to
produce a powerful offspring. Sombra is a succubus, and drains
the soul from her mates, killing them. She suffers from
depressive tendencies. Bzzk'joh is her only child that has been
indentified as yet.
--Howard the Duck I22 (Howard the Duck I#22 (fb), Howard the Duck I#22
images:
Other appearances:
Howard the Duck I#23 (April, 1978) - Steve Gerber (writer), Val Mayerik (pencils/inks), Steve Gerber (editor)
Last updated: 08/02/02
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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