HOWARD THE DUCK #1

           

           

                                       Script

           

           

                                Created & Written by

           

                                    STEVE GERBER

           

           

           

           

           

           

            

           

                                 Script Submitted:

                                      4/11/85

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

            

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

           

                                MARVEL COMICS GROUP

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                  IMPORTANT NOTICE

           

            The text of the following script is Copyright 1985 by Steve

            Gerber.

           

            All characters appearing in the text -- with the exceptions

            of CHIRREEP, POPORB, THE AROUNDER, THE WITHINER, THE

            AMONGER, THE UNDERNEATHER, THE BETWEENER, and OF -- are

            trademarks of the Marvel Comics Group.

           

            That alone should deter you from attempting to copy this

            script to sell for profit.

           

            Trust me -- they'll sue.

           

            You may, however, download this text and copy it to your

            heart's content for your own use and to distribute to your

            friends, neighbors, or anyone else who cares to read it (as

            long as you don't charge for those copies) since it will

            never see publication in comic book form.

           

            ALL SUCH COPIES MUST INCLUDE THIS NOTICE!

           

            Here's hoping you enjoy reading this as much as I did

            writing it.

           

                                                        ---Steve Gerber

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                      PAGE ONE

           

            (1)

           

            FULL-PAGE SPLASH: LARGE CLOSEUP OF HOWARD THE DUCK

           

            falling straight toward the reader through some other-

            dimensional space.  (The backdrop should NOT be black.)

            Howard's upended lower body-- NOTE: HE IS NOT WEARING

            PANTS!-- and webbed feet take up most of the background, but

            we see hints of some Dr. Strange-type geometric abstractions

            behind him.  He looks half out of his mind, eyes looking two

            different directions, beak wide open, cigar perched like a

            seesaw on the edge of the beak.  He's grabbing the brim of

            his hat with both hands, pulling it down in frustration, as

            he screams straight at the reader!

           

              HOWARD:       (BURST; LETTERS OPEN FOR COLOR) WHAT IS

                                REALITY--

              HOWARD:       (SAME) --AN' WHAT DOES IT WANT FROM ME,

                                ANYHOW?!?

              BLURB:        As part of Marvel's ongoing effort to ad-

                                dress these and other pressing questions

                                of our age...

              SIGNATURE

              LINE:         STAN LEE PRESENTS:

             

              TITLE:        HOWARD THE DUCK'S SECRET CRISIS II

             

              BLURB:        A continuity-fraught TWO-PART HYPO-SERIES

                                destined to change the course of the

                                Marvel Universe for hours, perhaps days!

           

            CREDITS:

           

              Created & Written by      Illustrated by        Inking by

                  STEVE GERBER          (ARTIST NAME)        (INKER NAME)

           

                   Letterer's name, Letterer       JIM SHOOTER

                   Colorist's name, Colorist          Editor

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 2.

 

 

                                      PAGE TWO

           

            (1)

           

            A ROLLED-UP NEWSPAPER lands on the porch of an ordinary sub-

            urban house.

           

              BLURB:        It's six-thirty a.m., on what should be an

                                ordinary weekday morning, in an ordinary

                                suburban neighborhood...

           

           

            (2)

           

            SLIGHTLY LONGER SHOT: The door of the house has opened to

            reveal RONALD THE DUCK-- Howard's father as portrayed in HTD

            BLACK & WHITE MAGAZINE #6.  He's still half-asleep, dressed

            in a bathrobe, and leaning over to pick up the paper.

           

              BLURB:        ...on the dimensional plane known as DUCK-

                                WORLD.

              BLURB:        As is his daily routine, RONALD THE DUCK--

                                devoted husband, father of three--

                                shuffles drowsily to the door for a

                                breath of air and his copy of the NEW

                                STORK TIMES.

           

           

            (3)

           

            SLIGHTLY LONGER SHOT.  A dark shadow has fallen over Ronald.

            He looks up and reacts with horror to something he sees off-

            panel!

           

              BLURB:        He inhales deeply-- and the stench of SULFUR

                                assaults his lungs.

              BLURB:        That shocks him to wakefulness-- and to the

                                terrifying realization that this morning

                                will NOT be like any other.

           

           

            (4)

           

            WIDE ANGLE: A wedge of thick, billowing YELLOW-GREY GLOP is

            spreading across the sky, blotting out the sun!  At the apex

            of the wedge, soaring across the sky, is a TINY (from this

            distance) FIGURE ON A SURFBOARD!  The glop seems to be pour-

            ing out of the surfboard as it flies-- like exhaust fumes.

            On the ground, Ronald's neighbors-- ducks, chickens, geese--

            are running down the street, screaming in terror.

           

              BLURB:        For on this morning, a billowing GLOP

                                spreads across the sky, choking off the

                                sunlight...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 3.

 

 

              BLURB:        ...shrouding the world in a final DARKNESS

                                that precedes its END.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 4.

 

 

                                     PAGE THREE

           

            (1)

           

            EXT. NEW STORK CITY ROOFTOP - WIDE ANGLE

           

            FEATURING DUCKTOR STRANGE and TRUMAN CAPOULTRY (also from

            HTD B&W #6) gaze up at the glop, which is spreading across

            the sky here, too.  Strange holds a bottle of booze in one

            hand and waves the other in a tremulous mystical gesture,

            trying to conjure the stuff away.  Capoultry screams at him

            to try harder.

           

              BLURB:        Some miles away, on a New Stork City

                                rooftop, DUCKTOR STRANGE, master of the

                                mystic arts, and author TRUMAN CAPOULTRY

                                also observe the phenomenon.

              CAPOULTRY:    Try another THPELL, Thtrange!  The glop'th

                                thtill THPREADING!

              STRANGE:      =hic= By the RIPPLED RINGSH OF HUMIDOR, I

                                =hic= banish you, glop!!

              VOICE:        (OFF-PANEL) Alas, feathered one, mere sor-

                                cery could not stop these events-- even

                                if you were SOBER.

            

           

            (2)

           

            Angle past Strange and Capoultry to THE THROWAWAY.  He's be-

            hind them, floating down to the rooftop, legs together, arms

            folded over his chest, eyes staring blankly as if entranced.

            Strange and Capoultry are whirling around to look at him.

           

            He wears a long flowing cloak-- it would be floor-length if

            he were standing on a floor-- that wraps completely around

            him, and a cowl that conceals his face completely.  Only his

            GLOWING EYES are visible in the shadow of the cowl.

           

              THROWAWAY:    The CONSUMPTION of your world was ordained

                                by a far greater power--

              CAPOULTRY:    My goodneth!  A HAIRLETH APE!

              THROWAWAY:    --greater even than the one who shall EAT

                                your planet.

           

           

            (3)

           

            The Throwaway, still hovering just above the roof, points

            skyward dramatically.  Capoultry and Strange gape up at him.

           

              THROWAWAY:    For yon glop, as you call it, is merely the

                                GRAVY on the feast--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 5.

 

 

              THROWAWAY:    --ladelled across your sky by him who wields

                                the POWER SULFURIC.

              STRANGE & CAPOULTRY: (TWO POINTERS FROM BALLOON) WHO--??

           

           

            (4)

           

            Wide angle shot of roof.  THE SULFUR SURFER-- grimy black

            from head to toe, but otherwise resembling the Silver

            Surfer-- shoots across panel on his surfboard, trailing a

            cloud of emissions behind him.  Strange and Capoultry are

            covered with the stuff.  It never touches Throwaway, who

            gestures at the Surfer like a ringmaster introducing an act.

           

              THROWAWAY:    BEHOLD-- men call him THE SULFUR SURFER--

              THROWAWAY:    --but he is "HAROLD" to GALACTONGUE!

           

           

            (5)

           

            Small panel.  Capoultry and Strange, blackened with sulfur

            emissions, stare awestruck at the off-panel Throwaway.

           

              CAPOULTRY:    There'th NOTHING we can do-- we're DOOMED?!

              THROWAWAY:    (OFF-PANEL) Not "we"-- YOU.  I cannot die.

           

           

            (6)

           

            Small panel.  Throwaway reaches melodramatically up to take

            hold of his cowl, preparing to pull it back.

           

              THROWAWAY:    For I am...THROWAWAY, he who is disposed to

                                WHINE.

              THROWAWAY:    Such is my fate.  As your world and infinite

                                others meet their destruction, I shall

                                bear helpless witness to the horror...

           

           

            (7)

           

            Small panel.  Tight closeup on Throwaway.  He pulls back his

            cloak, revealing a face that looks like a demented CABBAGE

            PATCH DOLL.  His glowing eyes bulge almost out of their

            sockets, and his features are frozen in an expression of re-

            vulsion-- as if someone had shoved a rotten banana up his

            nose.

           

              THROWAWAY:    ...and go "ewwwwgh."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 6.

 

 

                                     PAGE FOUR

           

            (1)

           

            THE RONALD DUCK FAMILY

           

            Ronald, his wife HENRIETTA, and his children THERESA and

            ORVILLE, huddle together on the porch, in the darkness, as

            the end comes.

           

              BLURB:        Back in suburbia, Ronald hugs Henrietta and

                                the children close to him.

              BLURB:        And in these last moments, his thoughts turn

                                sadly to his MISSING son, to HOWARD,

                                whom he will never see again.

            (2)

           

            DUCKTOR STRANGE & TRUMAN CAPOULTRY

           

            Strange holds his bottle straight up, pouring the last of

            its contents into his mouth, oblivious to Capoultry, who is

            diving over the edge of the roof.  We see Throwaway's boots

            near top of panel as he floats away again.

           

              BLURB:        Strange prepares for the coming ingurgita-

                                tion with an APERITIF...

              BLURB:        ...while Capoultry seizes back the power of

                                life and death from his would-be

                                destroyer's hands.

            (3)

           

            LARGER PANEL - DUCKWORLD SEEN FROM SPACE

           

            In foreground, the Sulfur Surfer zips away from the planet--

            which is now engulfed in glop, like a gooey bonbon.  Hover-

            ing hungrily AROUND the planet is a pair of GIGANTIC RUBY-

            RED LIPS.  A HUGE TONGUE extends out from the lips and UNDER

            the planet, ABOUT TO SLURP IT UP!  (Picture a cosmic version

            of the old Rolling Stones Records logo.)

           

              BLURB:        The predator, however, has no hands.  In

                                ever sense of the word, it is ALL MOUTH.

              SURFER:       Your supper, GALACTONGUE.

              GALACTONGUE:  Thank you, Harold.

           

            

            (4)

           

            SAME ANGLE: BUT NOW THE PLANET IS GONE AND THE TONGUE IS

            SMACKING THE GRINNING RUBY LIPS!

           

              SFX:          (AT LEFT OF LIPS) =SLURRRP=

              SFX:          (AT RIGHT OF LIPS) =SMMAAKK=

              GALACTONGUE:  Mm-MMM!  Dee-lish!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 7.

 

 

              VOICE:        (OFF-PANEL; BURST; CONNECT TO FOLLOWING BAL-

                                LOON) NO-- NOT AGAIN!!

              VOICE:        (POINTER TO BOTTOM OF PANEL)  That's the

                                47th scenario-- and every time, DUCK-

                                WORLD DIES!!

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 8.

 

 

                                     PAGE FIVE

           

            (1)

            

            EXT. DESOLATE VALLEY ON PLANET KRYLOR - A MULTI-DOMED STONE

            STRUCTURE - NIGHT

           

            The structure rests on the floor of the otherwise deserted

            valley.  The structure looks primitive and futuristic all at

            once.  It has one large rough hewn stone dome (not in the

            center) and several smaller domes attached to it by short

            stone tunnels.  The structure should in no way look sym-

            metrical.   The floor of the valley is dull and grey-- vol-

            canic ash.

           

              BLURB:        The VALLEY OF ASHES, on the planet KRYLOR:

                                home of CHIRREEP, techno-artist in

                                EXILE.

              VOICE:        (FROM INSIDE MAIN DOME)  Mass destruction is

                                a DOWNER!  People don't want to SEE

                                downers!

              VOICE:        Why do you keep feeding the same VIDSTREAM

                                into the FICTIONATOR?

           

            (2)

           

            INT. MAIN DOME - WIDE ANGLE FEATURING CHIRREEP--

           

            --A KRYLORIAN TECHNO-ARTIST like BEREET [see INCREDIBLE HULK

            #269-287 and MARVEL UNIVERSE HANDBOOK #6, pg. 31 for refer-

            ence], but not nearly as successful.  The main dome of this

            structure is her studio.

           

            Chirreep is a Krylorian Cyndi Lauper-- cute, but weird: ris-

            ing from the very center of her head is a blue, spiky,

            feather plume, at least two feet high; she wears a one-piece

            sarong-like garment that sits on her hips at a provocative

            angle, much higher on one side than the other; on the more

            exposed leg, she wears a boot that comes up over her knee;

            on the less exposed leg, she wears an ankle-high boot and

            striped leotard-type legging.

           

            She's seated at the Krylorian equivalent of a movieola.  In-

            stead of a screen, it has a multi-faceted gem about the size

            of a basketball.  Hovering over the gem is one of Chirreep's

            techno-art creations, called POPORB-- essentially a giant

            floating eye with long lashes and heavy mascara.  A beam

            from the eye is aiming into the gem, and in the facets of

            the gem, we see scenes from the previous three pages-- the

            destruction of Duckworld.

           

            Chirreep looks angry and frightened, as she waves her arms

            at the Poporb.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 9.

 

 

              CHIRREEP:     What's WRONG with you, Poporb?  Why are you

                                outputting TRAGEDY, when I programmed

                                you for FARCE?

              CHIRREEP:     You can't even get a SENSOR-FIX on the STAR

                                of this movie I'm allegedly making!

           

            (2)

           

            The Poporb sadly closes its lid.  There's nothing it can do.

           

              CHIRREEP:     How am I supposed to create another "Howard

                                the Duck" TECHNO-FICTION*--

              CHIRREEP:     --without inputting HOWARD?

              BLURB:        *Chirreep's earlier "techno-fictions" ap-

                                peared in HOWARD THE DUCK MAGAZINE #1-9

                                and BIZARRE ADVENTURES #34.--J.S.

           

            (3)

           

            Chirreep gets up from the movieola, wringing her hands, now

            looking very worried and agitated.

            

              CHIRREEP:     Don't you understand?  I've lost my AUDI-

                                ENCE!  They HATE my recent work!

              CHIRREEP:     Techno-art can MOCK our complacent society,

                                as BEREET did in her HULK movies*...but

                                I went too FAR!

              CHIRREEP      In "VOID LEMON," I tried to say we practice

                                a PASSIVE form of violence-- and I pro-

                                voked Krylor's first MASS RIOT!

              BLURB:        *See HULK #269.--J.S.

           

           

            (4)

           

            Chirreep whirls around, reacts in shock to something she

            sees off-panel.

            

              CHIRREEP:     I need a HIT-- another "MALTESE COCKROACH"--

                                another "CRASH OF '79!"--

              CHIRREEP:     --or my career is FINISHED!

              VOICE:        (OFF-PANEL) It's TOO LATE, Chirreep.

           

            (5)

           

            Looking past Chirreep, who has frozen in fear, we see THREE

            KRYLORIAN ART POLICE standing in the door of the main dome,

            pointing odd weapons-- they look like flit-gun-type bug

            sprayers-- at her.  Their uniforms look like they were bor-

            rowed from Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

           

              1ST POLICE:   Your techno-artistic license has been RE-

                                VOKED.

              2ND POLICE:   You and your "Poporb" are hereby summoned to

                                appear before the COMMISSION.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 10.

 

 

                                      PAGE SIX

           

            (1)

           

            EXT. KRYLORIAN CAPITAL CITY - WIDE ANGLE TO ESTABLISH

           

            The art police craft carrying Chirreep-- it's an open-topped

            saucerlike vehicle-- flies toward one of the tallest build-

            ings in the city.  The Poporb flies behind it.

           

              BLURB:        In mere moments, the KAPS'* transport whisks

                                Chirreep from her lonely valley to the

                                bustling planetary capital of PLAISIIR--

              BLURB:        --seat of the august ENTERTAINMENT STANDARDS

                                COMMISSION--

              BLURB:        *Krylorian Art Police.--JS

           

           

            (2)

           

            INT. COMMISSION HEARING ROOM - LARGE PANEL

           

            The layout of the room definitely suggests a court of law.

            The design is something else altogether: the commissioners

            are also techno-artists, and the decor reflects this.  E.g.,

            the front panel of the judges' bench is sculpted into the

            huge, glowering face of gargoyle.

           

            The THREE COMMISSIONERS-- bald, like all Krylorian males--

            wear judicial-type robes, decorated with odd, alien pat-

            terns.  Each wears a different sculpted helmet: one resem-

            bles a Rolls Royce hood ornament, another a glittering

            metallic moose antlers, the third a ziggurat.  They look

            simultaneously imperious and ridiculous.

           

            SKEEB, the one with the antlers, is the presiding commis-

            sioner.  He stands between the other two, who are seated.

           

            The defendant (Chirreep) sits facing the bench in a trans-

            parent hovering globe, with one section sliced out for a

            seat.

           

              BLURB:        --the honorable techno-master SKEEB

                                presiding.

              SKEEB:        The members of this commission fondly recall

                                your EARLY work, Chirreep-- so we have

                                striven to be LENIENT with you.

              SKEEB:        Even after the "Void Lemon" incident, we

                                limited your punishment to EXILE.

              SKEEB:        But now a far GRAVER charge has been leveled

                                against you.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 11.

 

 

           

            (3)

           

            On the stern-faced commissioners.  Skeeb is standing, lean-

            ing over the bench, accusing Chirreep.

           

              SKEEB:        You are accused of employing forbidden

                                materials-- specifically, SHADOW MAT-

                                TER-- in the construction of your

                                POPORB.

              SKEEB:        Is this TRUE, Chirreep?

           

           

            (4)

           

            Small panel.  Chirreep looks pleadingly at the commis-

            sioners.

            

              CHIRREEP:     Shadow matter enabled the Poporb to probe

                                OTHER DIMENSIONS for inspiration.

              CHIRREEP:     The "Howard" series could never have been

                                MADE without--

           

           

            (5)

           

            Small panel.  Tight closeup of Skeeb.  He's taken on the as-

            pect of a hangin' judge.

           

              SKEEB:        Speak no more.  Your rash irresponsibility

                                has precipitated a DISASTER--

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 12.

 

 

                                     PAGE SEVEN

           

            (1)

           

            START OF 3-PANEL SEQUENCE: At left of panel is Skeeb's face,

            as he narrates the following.  The rest of the panel shows

            several spiral galaxies swirling in space.  Each galaxy is

            accompanied by a half-resolved doppelganger of itself, like

            a TV "ghost" image.

           

              BLURB:        (SKEEB SPEAKING) "--a calamity of COSMIC

                                proportions.

              BLURB:        "For some time, our scientists have noted a

                                peculiar VIBRATION across the space-time

                                continuum which produced an odd IMAGE-

                                DOUBLING EFFECT on our instruments.

           

           

            (2)

           

            The same scene in space-- except that now the "ghost" images

            and the actual galaxies have moved much farther apart.

           

              BLURB:        "We did not realize, until NOW, that this

                                was no illusion-- that all of EXISTENCE

                                was in fact LOSING SUBSTANCE--

              BLURB:        "--REDISTRIBUTING its matter to form a

                                SHADOW of itself.

           

           

            (3)

           

            On one side of the panel, we see the swirling galaxies as in

            panel one.  Down the center of the panel is a ragged-edged

            rift, as if the panel had been torn in two.  On the other

            side, now completely independent of the original galaxies,

            the doppelgangers swirl through the space of an entirely

            other universe.  The rift itself is occupied by various ab-

            stract geometric shapes against a solid-color (but not

            black) backdrop.

           

              BLURB:        "The vibratory stimulation of the Poporb's

                                trans-dimensional probing has brought

                                into being A SECOND MULTIVERSE-- with

                                its own COSMIC AXIS--

              BLURB:        "--where your 'movies' ACTUALLY OCCURRED!"

           

            

            (4)

             

            Chirreep is leaning forward, almost tipping out of her wit-

            ness chair, stunned at this revelation.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 13.

 

 

              SKEEB:        (OFF-PANEL)  Moreover, certain of your

                                "characters" may have suffered a SPACE-

                                TIME-DISPLACEMENT--

              SKEEB:        --which divorced them from ANY reality apart

                                from your films!

              CHIRREEP:     That's why I can't locate HOWARD--?

           

           

            (5)

           

            Angle across Chirreep to the commissioners, who nod grimly.

           

              SKEEB:        Precisely-- for, at the moment, he exists in

                                NEITHER COSMOS!

              SKEEB:        He is STRANDED in the rift which divides the

                                shadow reality from our own.

              CHIRREEP:     Trapped.  In a rift he never made.

              CHIRREEP:     What are we going to DO?

           

           

            (6)

           

            Angle on Skeeb, who shakes his head in typical Krylorian

            resignation to the inevitable.

           

              SKEEB:        Accustom ourselves to life in a THINNER uni-

                                verse, for one thing--

              SKEEB:        --and for another, PUNISH the entities

                                RESPONSIBLE for this catastrophe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 14.

 

 

                                     PAGE EIGHT

           

            (1)

           

            INT. A GLOOMY PRISON CELL far below the city.  Chirreep sits

            hunkered over on a little stool, sobbing.  The Poporb hovers

            above her, half-open, a tear about to fall from it.

           

              BLURB:        Shortly, far below the city...

              CHIRREEP:     They don't know the WORST of it, Poporb.

              CHIRREEP:     The destruction of Duckworld must have been

                                REAL, also-- and I almost surely un-

                                leashed the menace that CAUSED it!

           

           

            (2)

           

            Down angle on Chirreep as she looks up at Poporb with a hor-

            rifying realization:

           

              CHIRREEP:     Throwaway said it was a power even greater

                                than Galactongue!

              CHIRREEP:     What if it goes on to destroy OTHER worlds--

                                or that whole other MULTIVERSE, or--

           

            (3)

           

            Chirreep stands suddenly, startled at where her reasoning

            has led her.

           

              CHIRREEP:     (BURST) --OR BOTH MULTIVERSES?!

              CHIRREEP:     And what if the two are LINKED somehow?  The

                                whole of EXISTENCE could be eradicated--

              CHIRREEP:     --while Krylor's over-entertained populace

                                CURLS UP and accepts the "inevitable!"

           

           

            (4)

           

            Close on Chirreep, clenching both fists.  She's made up her

            mind to do something.

           

              CHIRREEP:     I CAN'T let it happen!  I WON'T go down in a

                                history that will never be written as--

              CHIRREEP:     --THE WOMAN WHO WIPED OUT THE UNIVERSE!

           

           

            (5)

            

            She turns to Poporb, strokes its lid gently, almost hypnoti-

            cally.  Its iris and pupil gleam with energy.

           

              CHIRREEP:     We're going to create a NEW techno-fiction,

                                Poporb-- just as REAL as the others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 15.

 

 

              CHIRREEP:     It's about how CHIRREEP suddenly VANISHED

                                from her prison cell, on a mission to

                                save reality--

           

           

            (6)

           

            Both Chirreep and Poporb vanish in a crackling flash of en-

            ergy!

             

              CHIRREEP:     (OPEN-ENDED POINTER, TO THE FLASH OF ENERGY)

                            --and repay a DEBT to a web-footed friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 16.

 

 

                                     PAGE NINE

           

           

            (1)

           

            THE RIFT BETWEEN MULTIVERSES: We can see the ragged black

            edges of the multiverses on either side of panel.  In f.g.,

            two abstract geometric forms, a helix and a pinwheel, are

            locked together like a couple of clothes hangers, circling

            each other perpetually, going nowhere.  In b.g., we see a

            small shape tumbling toward us.  We can't see yet what it

            is.

           

              BLURB:        At the distant reaches of two multiverses,

                                in the rift between existences...

           

           

            (2)

           

            SAME SCENE: But now the geometric forms are moving out of

            panel, toward the left, and tumbling figure is a little

            closer.  We can just barely make out arms and legs-- and

            webbed feet.

           

              BLURB:        ...two geometric solids dance a perpetual

                                pas de deux, chasing one another's logic

                                into eternity...

           

           

            (3)

           

            SAME SCENE: But now the geometric forms have moved almost

            entirely out of panel to the left-- and the FRONT END OF A

            DODGE WINNEBAGO is entering the panel from the right!  We

            can see now, in a bit of detail, that the tumbling figure is

            HOWARD THE DUCK, wearing the same whacked-out expression as

            on the splash page.

           

              BLURB:        ...unseen by living eyes, inaccessible to

                                tourists...

             

             

            (4)

           

            WIDE ANGLE - THE SIDE OF THE WINNEBAGO: Howard slams into it

            broadside, to the left of the coach door.

           

              BLURB:        ...until now.

              SFX:          BWHOMPH!

              HOWARD:       (BURST; LETTERS OPEN FOR COLOR)

                                =WAAAUGHH!!!=

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 17.

 

 

           

                                 PAGES TEN & ELEVEN

                                         

                                 DOUBLE-PAGE SPREAD

           

                 ARRANGED AS TWO TIERS OF PANELS THAT READ ACROSS BOTH

                 PAGES; FIVE PANELS ON TOP TIER, THREE ON BOTTOM.  FOR

                 CLARITY, MAYBE SEPARATE TOP TIER OF PANELS WITH THIN,

                 SOLID BLACK GUTTERS; USE STANDARD OPEN GUTTER TO SEPA-

                 RATE TOP TIER FROM BOTTOM.

           

            (1)

           

            The door of the Winnebago flies open to the left, squashing

            Howard against the side of the vehicle.  (Only his webbed

            feet are visible, hanging out from under the door.)  Framed

            in the doorway is the WHITE-HAIRED, WHITE-SUITED ANGEL from

            the Howard story in BIZARRE ADVENTURES #34.  (Henceforth,

            we'll call him ANDY, because he bears a strong resemblance

            to Andy Warhol.)

           

              SFX:          (DOOR SQUASHING HOWARD) THWAPP

              HOWARD:       (FROM BEHIND DOOR; LOWER CASE LETTERS)

                                =auuuuu=

              ANDY:         HOWARD?-- Howard, is that YOU?!--

            

           

            (2)

           

            Angle past Andy to the edge of the door: Howard's head pokes

            around it.  His cigar is smashed.  He looks like he could

            commit murder.

           

              HOWARD:       I dunno who you ARE, snowcap...or how you

                                knew my NAME...

              HOWARD:       ...an' to be totally HONEST, I don't really

                                give a plywood pluck.

              HOWARD:       You, on the other hand, should be aware--

           

           

            (3)

           

            INT. WINNEBAGO: Andy reels backward into the coach, pro-

            pelled by a furious Howard, who has leaped on him and whose

            gloved hands are locked around the angel's throat!

             

              HOWARD:       --that if you don't have a box o' CIGARS in

                                this clunker, you're DEAD MEAT!

              ANDY:         But-- but, Howard-- you can't kill ME!

           

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 18.

 

 

            (4)

           

            Angle past How to Andy.  Andy is bent back over the stove of

            the Winnebago coach with the Duck perched on his chest.  How

            still has one hand around Andy's throat.  The other is

            balled up in a fist, poised to sock him.

           

              ANDY:         I'm ALREADY DEAD!  You know that!

              ANDY:         I'm an ANGEL!

              HOWARD:       No kiddin'!  Well, in that case, this won't

                                hurt a BIT, will it?

           

           

            (5)

           

            How stops his punch just before it connect.  His head whips

            around to look off-panel, reacting to a voice.  His beak is

            dropping open.  He's appalled at what he sees.

           

              VOICE:        (OFF-PANEL) DESIST, friend duck!  The

                                seraphim ANDY speaks the TRUTH!  And I

                                should know--

              HOWARD:       (LOWER-CASE LETTERING) =waa-uurgh=

           

            (6)

           

            LARGE PANEL:  WIDE SHOT OF THE WINNEBAGO'S INTERIOR.  Now

            we-- and Howard-- see that there are OTHERS aboard.  In

            fact, the place is packed with a strange array of characters

            from Howard's past(s): DAKIMH THE SORCERER, his apprentice

            JENNIFER KALE, and KORREK THE BARBARIAN (HTD color comic

            #22-23); MAN-THING; mechanic CLAUDE STARKOWSKI (HTD color

            comic #30-31); MASTER C'HAAJ (kung fu master from HTD color

            comic #3); and HEMLOCK SHOALS (detective caterpillar; HTD

            b&w magazine #4).

           

            Dakimh should be standing.  Man-Thing would hunched over,

            too tall for the RV's ceiling to accommodate.  Claude might

            be trying to fix a lamp or something.  Arrange the others

            interestingly on the can the Winnebago's sofas, bunks, etc.

           

            Howard is still standing on Andy's chest, gaping at the

            others in unconcealed disgust.

            

              DAKIMH:       --for I, DAKIMH THE SORCERER-- or rather,

                                his GHOST-- am also numbered among the

                                departed!

              BLURB:        With a LUMP in his throat-- brought on by

                                sudden, severe NAUSEA-- Howard scans the

                                recreational vehicle's weird assemblage:

              BLURB:        (NEAR JENNIFER) JENNIFER KALE, Dakimh's

                                protege...

              BLURB:        (NEAR KORREK) ...KORREK, barbarian prince of

                                Katharta...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 19.

 

 

              BLURB:        (NEAR MANNY) ...the macabre MAN-THING, murk-

                                dweller of the Florida swamps...

              BLURB:        (NEAR CLAUDE AND C'HAAJ) ...mechanic CLAUDE

                                STARKOWSKI and martial arts entrepreneur

                                MASTER C'HAAJ, both of Cleveland,

                                Ohio...

              BLURB:        (NEAR SHOALS) ...and, finally, a CATERPILLAR

                                the duck has never seen before in his

                                life!

              HOWARD:       Gimme strength...!

           

           

            (7)

           

            Medium-closeup of Howard.  He slumps into a pose of futil-

            ity.

           

              HOWARD:       Better yet, tell me what I'm doin' in a

                                Winnebago, nine billion light years from

                                NOWHERE--

              HOWARD:       --with a gaggle of FLAMING LOONIES I never

                                wanted to SEE again--

           

           

            (8)

           

            Medium-closeup of Hemlock at one of the RV's windows.  He's

            pointing, indicating something he sees outside.

           

              HOWARD:       --plus two I've never even MET!

              HEMLOCK:      All in good time, Howard.  For the nonce, a

                                more URGENT matter has arisen.

              HEMLOCK:      It would appear that we are no longer the

                                ONLY sojourners in this cosmic outback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 20.

 

 

                                    PAGE TWELVE

           

            (1)

           

            EXT. IN THE RIFT: LONG SHOT OF A GIANT FIRE HYDRANT with

            windows around its dome-shaped bonnet and in its operating

            nut, so that it looks a bit like a space-station.  We see

            the Winnebago far, far in the background.

           

              CLAUDE:       (FROM WINNEBAGO) Sunuvagun-- FIRE HYDRANT at

                                four o'clock!

              DAKIMH:       (SAME) No, Claude.  Like our "R.V.", it is

                                an artificial CONSTRUCT, crafted to RE-

                                SEMBLE a common object.

           

           

            (2)

           

            INSET PANEL: closeup of Dakimh, touching his fingertips to

            his temples, concentrating.

           

              DAKIMH:       A moment, please.  I wish to determine who

                                is aboard...!

           

            (3)

           

            INT. BONNET OF FIRE HYDRANT: In this gigantic domed struc-

            ture, which looks like the inside of a spaceship, we find an

            assemblage of Howard's arch-foes, all pounding, hitting,

            kicking, or throwing magical bolts at one another-- each as-

            suming that all the others are responsible for his or her

            being here.

           

            Through one of the hydrant's huge windows, we see the Win-

            nebago floating far in b.g.

           

            The villains are:

           

                 1) PRO-RATA (HTD color comic #1);

                

                 2-6) DR. ANGST, BLACK HOLE, SITTING BULLSEYE, TILLIE

                 THE HUN, and THE SPANKER (MARVEL TREASURY EDITION #12);

                

                 7) LE BEAVER (HTD color comic #9);

                

                 8) KONG LOMERATE (HTD color comic #10 and b&w magazine

                 #7);

                

                 9) DOCTOR BONG (HTD color comic #15, et al.);

                

                 10) BERSERK JOE (HTD color comic #22-23);

                

                 11) JACKPOT (HTD b&w #1);

                

                 12) WALLY SIDNEY (HTD b&w #2);

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 21.

 

 

                

                 13) GREEDY KILLERWATT (HTD b&w #3);

                

                 14-17) JOKESTER, PUFFIN, QUIZLING, and THE MALLER (HTD

                 b&w #8);

                 

                 18) THE NEW BLACK TALON (HTD b&w #9).

                

            DR. BONG stands apart from the conflict, AT LEFT OF PANEL,

            hitting himself in the head with his clapper-arm, trying to

            get the attention of the others.  SPANKER is near CENTER OF

            PANEL, sitting on something, with WALLY SIDNEY draped over

            his lap; he's spanking Wally with his paddle.  DR. ANGST is

            stationed AT RIGHT OF PANEL, conjuring a GIANT RUNNING SHOE

            in the air above the combatants.

           

              DAKIMH:       (POINTER TO WINNEBAGO)  I sense EIGHTEEN

                                ENTITIES-- spanning a veritable spectrum

                                of MALEVOLENCE--

              DAKIMH:       (CONNECT TO PREVIOUS BALLOON) --from the

                                merely NASTY to the WANTONLY VIOLENT.

              BONG:         STOP this senseless brawling-- at once!

                                DOCTOR BONG demands it!

              SPANKER:      That's what YOU say, doc!  But I-- THE

                                SPANKER-- want a SECOND OPINION!

              ANGST:        Very well!  I-- DOCTOR ANGST, master of mun-

                                dane mysticism-- CONCUR with Doctor

                                Bong!

              ANGST:        Now cut it out, or I'll JOG all over you!

              SFX:          (BONG'S CLAPPER HITTING BELL) BONNNNG

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 22.

 

 

                                   PAGE THIRTEEN

           

            (1)

           

            INT. WINNEBAGO: Angle across Dakimh to Howard.  Dakimh is

            removing his fingertips from his temples, turning to How--

            who throws up his hands and turns on his heel to walk away.

           

              DAKIMH:       Apart from their EVIL, they seem to have

                                little in common--

              DAKIMH:       --except that they ALL want Howard DEAD.

              HOWARD:       NATURALLY!

           

           

            (2)

           

            Howard is at the door of the Winnebago coach, starting to

            open it.

           

              HOWARD:       EVERYBODY wants me dead!  In some species,

                                it's an INBORN INSTINCT!

              HOWARD:       Look, guys-- no offense, but I'm jumpin'

                                ship.  I was actually gettin' to LIKE it

                                out there--

           

           

            (3)

           

            EXT. WINNEBAGO: TIGHT SHOT OF DOORWAY as Howard flings the

            door open-- and stops cold, his beak dropping open, stunned.

           

              HOWARD:       --and besides, even if you're dead, you'll

                                lead happier, longer lives if I'm not--

              HOWARD:       (STAGGERED, LOWER-CASE LETTERS) =wurrrgh=

              VOICE:        (OFF-PANEL) So, Howard, we meet AGAIN--

           

           

            (4)

           

            Angle over How's shoulder out the door-- to CHIRREEP, sit-

            ting calmly in "space", with the POPORB floating at her own

            shoulder.

           

              CHIRREEP:     --for the FIRST TIME.

              HOWARD:       Why...you're a featherless, hairless

                                bird-ape hybrid, aren't you?

              HOWARD:       Hi, there.

              HOWARD:       I'm a deeply disturbed duck.

           

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 23.

 

 

            (5)

            

            Howard backs back into the Winnebago coach.  Chirreep and

            the Poporb also step inside.

           

              HOWARD:       I must be disturbed.  Otherwise, I wouldn't

                                think I was seeing YOU.

              CHIRREEP:     I understand your distress, Howard-- but I

                                am no DELUSION.

              CHIRREEP:     Intelligent life on my planet simply evolved

                                DIFFERENTLY than on earth-- or DUCK-

                                WORLD.

           

           

            (6)

           

            TIGHT SHOT OF HOWARD: SEEN ONLY FROM THE WAIST UP.  Double

            image of his head looking first at off-panel Chirreep, then

            down at his lower body-- in horror.

           

              HOWARD:       "Duckworld?"  What's that-- a THEME PARK?

              HOWARD:       WAIT-- what's HAPPENIN' to me?

              HOWARD:       =waaaugh=  I-- I'm-- CHANGING--

           

           

            (7)

           

            FULL SHOT: Howard looks down, gasps.  Inexplicably, he is

            now wearing pants!

           

              HOWARD:       --CLOTHES!!  I've got PANTS ON!!

              CLAUDE:       Never mind THAT, Howie--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 24.

 

 

           

                                   PAGE FOURTEEN

           

            (1)

           

            Small panel: Claude and the others, at the window of the

            Winnebago.  Claude is motioning for How to join them.

           

              CLAUDE:       --take a gander at what's goin' on OUTSIDE!

            

            (2)

           

            LARGE PANEL: Outside, Galactongue has appeared in the rift,

            hovering far above both the Winnebago and the fire hydrant.

            His ruby-red lips are disgorging a FLOODTIDE OF STARS into

            the emptiness.  The Sulfur Surfer flies an elaborate pattern

            of swoops and dives around the falling stars.

           

              CHIRREEP:     (FROM R.V.) It's GALACTONGUE!  He's disgorg-

                                ing an entire GALAXY into the rift!

              HOWARD:       (FROM R.V.) Maybe his eyes were bigger than

                                his stomach.

              CHIRREEP:     (FROM R.V.) He doesn't HAVE eyes.  HAROLD--

                                that sulfurous being-- is his eyes.

              HOWARD:       (FROM R.V.) He's got a seeing-eye SURFER--?!

           

           

            (3)

           

            Small panel: looking through the window of the Winnebago at

            Claude and Hemlock.  Claude literally has his nose pressed

            against the glass.

           

              CLAUDE:       Gee, Hemlock, I seen stuff like this at the

                                MOVIES lotsa times--

           

            

            (4)

           

            LARGE PANEL: Outside, as the Sulfur Surfer leads Galactongue

            away, the newly transplanted galaxy is IMPLODING at incredi-

            ble velocity, all of the stars rushing together to form a

            vast, glittering, towering...something.

           

              CLAUDE:       (FROM R.V.) --but I never figgered I'd get

                                to see a galaxy implode IN PERSON!

              CLAUDE:       (CONNECT TO PREVIOUS BALLOON)  Did YOU?

              HEMLOCK:      (FROM R.V.) Hardly, Claude.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 25.

 

 

                                    PAGE FIFTEEN

           

            (1)

           

            LARGE PANEL: The imploding galaxy has formed a planet-- with

            one unbelievably tall structure sticking straight up from

            its surface and rising past the top of the panel into the

            rift-space.  IT'S AN OFFICE BUILDING-- A GLEAMING TOWER TENS

            OF THOUSANDS OF MILES HIGH, WITH ODD PROTRUSIONS (WINGS)

            STICKING OUT FROM THE BUILDING WITH NO VISIBLE MEANS OF SUP-

            PORT.  An enormous banner, hung across the side of the

            building, reads: RETAIL AND OFFICE SPACE AVAILABLE FOR

            LEASE.

           

            FIVE COMET-LIKE FLARES-- one noticeably SMALLER than the

            other four-- are streaking away outward from various points

            on the structure, headed toward the Winnebago and the fire

            hydrant-- both of which are traveling toward the planet at

            incredible velocity.

           

              JENNIFER:     (FROM R.V.) Dakimh-- it's formed a NEW

                                PLANET-- and an OFFICE BUILDING!

              JENNIFER:     And we're falling straight TOWARD it!

              DAKIMH:       (FROM R.V.) Aye, Jennifer-- but I am MORE

                                concerned with the objects now streaking

                                toward US.

           

           

            (2)

           

            WIDE ANGLE, SMALL PANEL: Three of the comet-like flares

            (including the smallest one) strike the Winnebago.  The

            other two strike the fire hydrant.  Both "constructs" GLOW.

           

              BLURB:        An instant later, the mysterious flares

                                IMPACT...

           

           

            (3)

           

            "SPLIT-SCREEN PANEL" - INT. WINNEBAGO AT LEFT, INT. FIRE

            HYDRANT DOME AT RIGHT.  Both are bathed in blinding light

            that washes the panel virtually into black-and-white, and

            "breaks up" the characters' outlines, so that we can't see

            them clearly.

           

              BLURB:        ...to no apparent effect, other than

                                pyrotechnics, until:

              VOICES:       (FIVE POINTERS FROM BALLOON, THREE TO

                                WINNEBAGO, TWO TO FIRE HYDRANT; WAVY

                                BALLOON SHAPE; STAGGERED LETTERS)

                            HALLO-O-O-O!

              HOWARD & BONG: (BURST; TWO POINTERS)  WHO SAID THAT--?!?

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 26.

 

 

           

                                    PAGE SIXTEEN

           

            (1)

           

            INT. FIRE HYDRANT: Suddenly, a strange, gooey, MOLASSES-LIKE

            MASS WITH A HUMAN FACE starts to flow out from among the

            villains.  Worse: it talks!

           

              MOLASSES THING: (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS)  I am

                                from among.  I am the AMONGER.

              PRO-RATA:     By the stellar spreadsheet-- what IS it?!

           

           

            (2)

           

            INT. WINNEBAGO: Much to Chirreep's horror, a huge coil, re-

            sembling A SLINKY TOY WITH A HUMAN FACE ON ONE END, is un-

            winding itself snakelike from around her legs.

           

              COIL:         (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS)  I am from

                                around.  I am the AROUNDER.

              CHIRREEP:     Yes...yes, I can SEE that.

           

           

            (3)

           

            INT. FIRE HYDRANT: A FLAT, ALMOST TWO-DIMENSIONAL FIGURE

            THAT LOOKS LIKE A STICK OF GUM WITH A HUMAN HEAD slithers

            out from under Kong Lomerate's foot, startling the big ape

            half out of his skin!

           

              PAPER MAN:    (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS)  I am from

                                underneath.  I am the UNDERNEATHER.

              KONG:         =ARROOORRGH=

           

           

            (4)

           

            INT. WINNEBAGO: Out of Howard's wide-open beak comes a

            BOUNCING BALL WITH LITTLE ARMS, LITTLE LEGS, AND A HAPPY

            FACE PAINTED ON ITS SPHEROID SURFACE.

           

              BALL:         (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERS)  I am from

                                within.  I am the WITHINER.

           

           

            (5)

           

            Up-angle past Claude to the ceiling of the Winnebago.  A

            STRANGE LITTLE MAN IS SWINGING BY HIS NECK FROM A NOOSE AT-

            TACHED TO THE CEILING.  He reaches down and Claude, utterly

            bewildered, shakes his little doll-like hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 27.

 

 

           

              LITTLE MAN:   You can just call me..."OF."

              CLAUDE:       Uh-huh...pleased to meetcha.

           

           

            (6)

           

            EXT. THE WINNEBAGO AND THE FIRE HYDRANT: A voice speaks to

            them from the empty space between the two "constructs."

           

           

              VOICE:        (WAVY BALLOON; STAGGERED LETTERING; NO

                                POINTER) And I am from...between!

                                Together, we six comprise...

              VOICE:        (SAME) ...THE BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL

                                PREPOSITIONS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 28.

 

 

           

                                   PAGE SEVENTEEN

            

            (1)

           

            Angle past the two hurtling constructs to the office tower.

            Both are on a collision course with the tower.  One will

            strike near the top, the other near the bottom of the enor-

            mous structure.

           

              BETWEENER:    Play both ends against the middle, and all

                                you desire shall be yours!

              BETWEENER:    Nothing you dream of is impossible for me to

                                accomplish!

           

           

            (2)

           

            The Winnebago and the fire hydrant strike the side of the

            building-- and seem to dissolve away, their matter dissolv-

            ing into crackles of energy and being tossed back into the

            rift.  The hydrant strikes the building several stories

            ABOVE the Winnebago.

           

              BLURB:        Before anyone can ask for clarification of

                                the BETWEENER'S strange remark...

              BLURB:        ...the two constructs IMPACT the office

                                tower...

              BLURB:        ...and DISPERSE INTO UNBONDED ATOMS!

           

            

            (3)

           

            INT. OFFICE TOWER: THE BOARD ROOM.  Long, oval conference

            table.  Thickly upholstered chairs.  Plush carpeting.  The

            villains are spawled all over the place.  Kong Lomerate is

            prominent in this shot, swinging from the chandelier, which

            brightly lights the room.

           

              BLURB:        Their CONTENTS, however, arrive INTACT

                                inside.

              KONG:         We're viable!  And we've landed in the BOARD

                                ROOM--

              KONG:         --the natural habitat of KONG LOMERATE!

           

           

            (4)

           

            INT. OFFICE TOWER: THE MAIL ROOM.  This is where Howard and

            "friends" have landed, sprawled amid boxes, carts, postal

            scales, stamps, a few thousand unsorted envelopes, etc.

            There are no lights on in this room.

           

              JENNIFER:     Where-- ARE we--?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 29.

 

 

              HOWARD:       =wauurrgh=  The MAIL ROOM-- haven of lost

                                souls.

              HEMLOCK:      Yes...whatever the Betweener's game may be--

                                he obviously wishes us to start at the

                                BOTTOM.

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 30.

 

 

                                   PAGE EIGHTEEN

           

            (1)

           

            Howard storms toward the door gesturing behind him for the

            others to keep away, let him go.  He wants no part of this.

            Chirreep in particular watches him go, looking very upset.

            Korrek, climbing out from under a pile of mail, is furious.

           

              HOWARD:       Yeah, well-- let 'im keep WISHIN'!  I'm not

                                startin' at the bottom or anywhere ELSE!

              HOWARD:       In fact, I'm not PLAYIN'!

              KORREK:       By Bharph's blood-- time has wrought LITTLE

                                CHANGE in you, fowl!

           

           

            (2)

           

            Angle on Korrek, drawing his glowing sword from its sheath.

           

              KORREK:       You would only too happily DESERT your

                                comrades in the face of these

                                prepositional FIENDS!

              HOWARD:       (OFF-PANEL) You GOT it, Korrek!  I'm nothin'

                                if not--

           

           

            (3)

           

            Howard is opening the door-- when Korrek's sword flies into

            shot just over his head (speedlines indicate its path) and

            imbeds itself in the metal.  The impact slams the door shut

            again.  Howard's eyes are rolling up to look at the sword.

           

              HOWARD:       (SMALL LETTERS, CENTERED IN BALLOON)

                                --consistent.

              HOWARD:       (LOWER-CASE LETTERS; CONNECT TO PREVIOUS

                                BALLOON) =ulp=

              SFX:          (SWORD HITTING DOOR) THWOMMM!

           

           

            (4)

           

            Howard reaches up and pulls the sword out of the door.

           

              HOWARD:       Korrek...lemme try'n put this diplomati-

                                cally.

              HOWARD:       One'a the reasons I'm not exactly EAGER to

                                fight the good fight at your side...

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 31.

 

 

           

            (5)

           

            Wider shot.  Howard whirls around, holding the sword with

            both hands and waving it and yelling at Korrek.  The barbar-

            ian takes a step backward.

           

              HOWARD:       ...is that only a MORON throws his weapon

                                away before the fight's even STARTED!

              HOWARD:       Do I have to COMPLETE the syllogism, or do

                                you get the DRIFT?

              KORREK:       Anger overcame my REASON, fowl!  I am not so

                                INCAUTIOUS in battle!

           

           

            (6)

           

            Howard tosses down the sword and starts for the door again.

           

              HOWARD:       What-- you only get mad at your FRIENDS?

              HOWARD:       Look, thew-brain, if you NEED me, give a

                                holler, okay?  Otherwise--

           

           

            (7)

           

            Jennifer gives a worried look to Dakimh.  She's concerned

            not only for their lives-- but also the duck's sanity.

            Dakimh shrugs "who can say?" in response to her question.

           

              HOWARD:       (OFF-PANEL) --just forget I EXIST!

              SFX:          (DOOR SLAMMING)  SLAMM!

              JENNIFER:     I'm worried about Howard, Dakimh.  He acts

                                like we all got together LAST WEEK.

              JENNIFER:     Doesn't he REALIZE he's been lost in that

                                rift for almost SIX YEARS...?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 32.

 

 

                                   PAGE NINETEEN

           

            (1)

           

            INT. THE BOARD ROOM: Angle over Kong Lomerate's shoulder

            down the conference table where the villains are seated.

            Kong Lomerate stands at the head of the table, playing

            chairman of the board, addressing the others.  Dr. Bong is

            seated to his right, Dr. Angst to his left.

           

            Seated on Angst's side of the table (from nearest to fur-

            thest) are: Le Beaver, Black Hole, Sitting Bullseye, Tillie

            the Hun, the Spanker, Jackpot, and Black Talon.

           

            Seated on Bong's side of the table (also from nearest to

            furthest) are: Wally Sidney, Greedy Killerwatt, Maller,

            Jokester, Puffin, Quizling, and Pro-Rata.

           

            Berserk Joe is at the end of the table, standing on his head

            in his chair.

           

              BLURB:        Meanwhile, several floors above...

              KONG:         A most impressive assemblage, wouldn't you

                                agree, doctors?

              KONG:         The Canadian super-patriot LE BEAVER...the

                                matter-sucking BLACK HOLE...SITTING

                                BULLSEYE, TILLIE THE HUN, THE SPANKER,

                                the one-armed bandit JACKPOT...BLACK

                                TALON, the voodoo priest...

              KONG:         ...BERSERK JOE, the cosmic lunatic...

              KONG:         ...clothier WALLY SIDNEY, GREEDY KILLERWATT

                                ...the MALLER and his employees--

                                JOKESTER, PUFFIN, and QUIZLING-- and

                                PRO-RATA, chief accountant of the uni-

                                verse.

           

           

            (2)

           

            Angle on the head of the table, including Bong, Angst, and

            Kong.  Kong Lomerate nods knowingly.

           

              BONG:         Surely the PREPOSITIONS gathered us together

                                for a REASON.

              ANGST:        Some grand purpose-- something to do with

                                the WINNEBAGO we saw from space!

              KONG:         Yes.

           

           

            (3)

           

            Small panel.  Le Beaver scratches at the table and snarls at

            off-panel Kong.

           

              LE BEAVER:    If vous KNOW quelque-chose, minkey-- PARLEZ!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 33.

 

 

           

           

            (4)

           

            Tight shot of Kong.  He regards the others haughtily.

           

              KONG:         Quite simply, I believe I have grasped the

                                nature of the Prepositions' ENTERPRISE.

              KONG:         This building is to be the battlefield for a

                                war of OFFICE POLITICS...

              KONG:         ...the OBJECT of which, as in any such con-

                                flict, is the redistribution of POWER.

           

           

            (5)

           

            Extreme closeup of Kong, emphasizing the hungrily glittering

            eyes.

           

              KONG:         By first dividing, then intimidating, and

                                finally DAMAGING our opponents...

              KONG:         ...the power falls to US-- and with it, the

                                Betweener's PRIZE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 34.

 

 

                                    PAGE TWENTY

           

            (1)

           

            INT. OFFICE BUILDING CORRIDOR: Howard, hands shoved into the

            pockets of his coat, trundles down the hall, lost in

            thought.  Like the mail room, this area is also very dark.

           

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Shouldn't've railed at 'em like that.

                                They don't get it.

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Nobody gets it.

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Nobody ever did.

           

           

            (2)

           

            Another angle on Howard, seen from back, now approaching a

            corner of the corridor.  His trousers are starting to disap-

            pear-- just vanish.

           

              HOWARD:       (THOT) It's a rare bird-- let alone a

                                hairless ape-- that never really feels

                                lonely.

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Can't help it, though-- I DON'T very

                                often.

           

           

            (3)

           

            Around the corner: Howard comes shuffling around the bend,

            glancing down, noticing that the trousers have disappeared

            completely.

           

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Not that I'm in love with my own

                                company, or anything.

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Hm.  There go the pants...!

              HOWARD:       (THOT) When you get right down to it, I'm a

                                fairly obnoxious personality.

           

           

            (4)

           

            Howard shuffles up to a water cooler, reaches up for a paper

            cup from the cylindrically-shaped wall-mounted dispenser

            next to it.  (The dispenser is mounted at a height appropri-

            ate for adult humans.)

           

              HOWARD:       (THOT) I've just never encountered anybody

                                who struck me as significantly LESS

                                obnoxious.

              HOWARD:       (THOT) Thirsty...

              HOWARD:       (THOT) And suppose I did.  Why would they

                                want anything to do with me?

           

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 35.

 

 

            (5)

           

            Close on the bottom of the cup dispenser.  Howard's hand has

            pulled a paper cup out of the dispenser-- and falling out

            after it (as if dropping from a gallows, though it doesn't

            seem to bother him at all), hanging from a rope that extends

            up into the dispenser, is "OF," the weird little Preposi-

            tion.

           

              HOWARD:       (THOT; OFF-PANEL) Even BEV* and I never went

                                more than 48 hours without arguing over

                                SOMETH--

              HOWARD:       (BURST; OFF-PANEL) =WAAAAUGH!!=

              OF:           GREETS, Howard!  War broken out yet?

              BLURB:        *Beverly Switzler, Howard's human companion

                                during most of his stay on earth.--J.S.

           

            (6)

           

            Medium shot.  Howard gapes at the little preposition, who's

            hanging just slightly above eye-level with the duck.

           

              HOWARD:       I oughtta THROTTLE you for scarin' me like

                                that--

              HOWARD:       --but somehow it seems SUPERFLUOUS.

              OF:           Oh, good.  It's travail enough going through

                                life as a HANGING PREPOSITION.

              HOWARD:       Uh-huh.  Now what's this about a WAR?

            

           

            (7)

           

            Small panel.  Close on Of.  He realizes he's spoken out of

            turn.

           

              OF:           Oh, nothing...nothing at all...just making

                                conversation...!

              OF:           I really...should be going...my larger

                                brothers are calling...!

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 36.

 

 

                                  PAGE TWENTY-ONE

           

            (1)

           

            On Howard staring up at the cup dispenser.  There's a little

            puff of smoke now where Of had been hanging.  The SHADOW of

            a tall, off-panel figure is looming over Howard, as the fig-

            ure approaches from behind.

           

              OF:           Perhaps we can chat again...if you live

                                through this...!

              SFX:          (PUFF OF SMOKE)  =POOT!=

              HOWARD:       If I WHAT--?!?

              HOWARD:       Come BACK here!  I demand an EXPLANATION--!

           

           

            (2)

           

            Low angle past Howard to Chirreep, as she enters the scene

            behind him.  Howard is whirling around to look at her, again

            startled half out of his wits.

           

              CHIRREEP:     It's useless, Howard.  Paper cup dispensers

                                don't talk.

              HOWARD:       =WAAAAGH!!=

              HOWARD:       Now, who-- OH!  It's the HALLUCINATION

                                again!

              CHIRREEP:     My name is Chirreep, Howard.  And we really

                                must talk.

           

            (3)

           

            Howard and Chirreep continue down the corridor.

           

              CHIRREEP:     You see...I'm RESPONSIBLE for your being

                                trapped in the rift...

              CHIRREEP:     ...and, inadvertently, for the destruction

                                of DUCKWORLD.

              HOWARD:       "Duckworld" again.

              HOWARD:       Lady, I've never HEARD of Duckworld!  Why

                                should I CARE who destroyed it?

           

           

            (4)

           

            Chirreep looks at him, stunned.  He looks at her as if she's

            completely out to lunch.

           

              CHIRREEP:     Because you BORN there!  Because your

                                parents-- Ronald and Henrietta-- LIVED

                                there!

              CHIRREEP:     Moon of noon-- the Howard I knew was never

                                THIS callous!

              HOWARD:       Then you must'a known a DIFFERENT Howard--

              HOWARD:       --'cause MY parents're named DAVE an' DOTTY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 37.

 

 

           

           

            (5)

           

            Small panel.  Closeup on Chirreep.  Her eyes widen, as a

            sudden realization hits her.

           

              CHIRREEP:     Oh my stars and leotards!...then  Duck-

                                world...only existed in the SHADOW

                                MULTIVERSE...

              CHIRREEP:     It only became real...AFTER it appeared in

                                my MOVIE...!

              HOWARD:       (OFF-PANEL) Hah?

           

           

            (6)

           

            Holding Howard's hand tightly (he looks a little uncomfort-

            able about this), Chirreep tells him about the creation of

            the second multiverse.

           

              BLURB:        Breathlessly, the bird-woman explains the

                                functions, intended and otherwise, of

                                the Poporb and the Fictionator...

              BLURB:        ...and how the duck's dual existence in fact

                                and techno-fiction became NON-EXISTENCE

                                when the multiverses began to SEPARATE.

              HOWARD:       Y-you're tellin' me the ANGEL-- an' the

                                CATERPILLAR-- are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS?

              CHIRREEP:     YES--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 38.

 

 

                                  PAGE TWENTY-TWO

           

            (1)

           

            Howard and Chirreep approach a bank of elevators in the cor-

            ridor.

           

              CHIRREEP:     --and NO!

              CHIRREEP:     They BEGAN as fictional creations-- but they

                                BECAME REAL-- sort of like your PANTS!

              HOWARD:       I repeat: hah?

              CHIRREEP:     In my movies, an ANIMAL DECENCY committee

                                got upset because you were waddling

                                half-naked.

           

           

            (2)

           

            Behind How and Chirreep, the doors of an elevator are start-

            ing to open.  A shaft of light from the elevator stabs into

            the dark corridor.  They don't see it.  Chirreep is too in-

            volved with her story; How is too involved in his continuing

            skepticism.

           

              CHIRREEP:     They gave you a choice between trousers and

                                LYNCHING.  You went with the pants.

              HOWARD:       Who WOULDN'T...?

              CHIRREEP:     But, Howard, if Andy the Angel and Hemlock

                                Shoals-- and your pants-- have all taken

                                on some kind of reality--

           

           

            (3)

           

            Behind How and Chirreep, the door has opened a little more.

            We can see the menacing shapes of several figures in the el-

            evator.  Chirreep grows progressively more alarmed, Howard

            progressively more skeptical.

           

              CHIRREEP:     --that means --MY VILLAINS COULD HAVE, TOO!

              HOWARD:       Uh-huh.  What were THEY-- evil GYM SHORTS,

                                maybe?

           

           

            (4)

           

            LARGE PANEL: The door of the elevator is now completely

            open, revealing several of the villains-- KONG LOMERATE,

            MALLER, JACKPOT, AND GREEDY KILLERWATT-- ready to pounce.

            How and Chirreep turn to face them, and react with shock, as

            Kong Lomerate speaks.

           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Howard the Duck-1/Gerber/4-10-85                 39.

 

 

              KONG:         Gentlemen, I had assumed my background in

                                BUSINESS would prove crucial to winning

                                this war.

              KONG:         But if these two represent the CALIBER of

                                our antagonists, I am ludicrously

                                OVERQUALIFIED.

              KONG:         Let us DISPENSE with subtlety and simply--

              KONG:         (BURST) --KILL THEM!!

           

           

            (5)

           

            NEXT-ISSUE BLURB: 3/4-inch strip across bottom of page.

            

              BLURB:        NEXT> POWER PLAYS!  BACK-STABBING!  CAREER

                                STRATEGIES!  RUG-PULLING!  DEATH!  NEW

                                CLOTHES!  MORE DEATH!  PLUS-- IN CASE

                                YOU MISSED IT IN 1974-- THE ORIGIN OF

                                HOWARD THE DUCK!  ALL IN THE ASTOUNDING

                                CONCLUSION OF "SECRET CRISIS II"--

                               

                                REALITY: ITS PREVENTION AND CURE!

                               

                                ((ABOVE TITLE LETTERING OPEN FOR COLOR))