STAR WAAUGH
 

Instigator: Bzzk'Joh

Purpose: Taking over the multiverse, razing the current plane of existence, and replacing it with a shopping center.

Allies: Imperium Emporium, Ape-Shaker, Cuke-Spawn, Housefly

Opposition: Crimebuster (Frank Moore), Dakimh the Enchanter, Howard the Duck, Janus the Golden Angel, Jennifer Kale, Lectronn, Man-Thing (Ted Sallis), NAAC-P30, Korrek the Barbarian, TuTu

Location: The Death Store (formerly in the "center of the universe")

First Appearance: Howard the Duck I#22 (March, 1978)

 

History: (Howard the Duck I#22 (fb)) - Every millennium or two, Sombra, the immortal demon queen of the Megrim dimension, abducted the most savage of warriors from their homeworlds and brought them to Megrim to engage in a battle that only one would survive. The "winner" would become Sombra's mate, and would die as a result; a succubus, Sombra drained their soul. From this hideous and deadly union, invariably issued a child suffused with power beyond measure. Sombra loosed these children on the universe to wreak havoc and whatnot. Sombra's nature is not precisely evil, but more aptly described as humorless. Her offspring have historically tended less to violence than to spiritual anesthesia. Once matured, Sombra's offspring could be halted only by an equally powerful force dedicated to joy.

(Howard the Duck I#22 (fb)) - At the most recent millennial event, something went awry: The lone warrior to survive the tournament did so only because he was too insane to stop fighting even though he'd been hacked and stabbed within an inch of his life. This lunatic gladiator was more than happy to sacrifice his life for a chance to get busy with Sombra. This child, Bzzk'Joh (pronounced "Berserk Joe"), inherited both his mother's depressive tendencies and his father's madness.

(Howard the Duck I#23 (fb)) - Bzzk'Joh forged the Imperium Emporium, a vast empire based out of the Death Store, a planet-sized mall in the "center of the universe." Joh's agents in the Imperium began buying up property throughout the universe and in every universe. Their goal was to bulldoze the current reality and build on its ruins a shopping center unrivalled in its crassness.

(Howard the Duck I#22) - As Joh's madness began to spread throughout the universe, he sent a number of bizarre creations to attack those who might oppose him. Sensing Howard the Duck's destiny to save the universe, Bzzk'Joh sent agents against him. The Ape-Shaker -- a giant salt-shaker with ape-like limbs -- ambushed Howard, forced him to the ground, seasoned him liberally, and then jumped off a building, shattering its cylinder and dumping its salty contents onto the ground). Next, a housefly "as a big as a house" (more like a car's size, perhaps) attacked Howard, who slew it with a guitar.
    Similarly aware of Howard's strange destiny to save the universe, the ghost of Dakimh the Enchanter (recently slain by Mortak) gathered Howard, along with the Man-Thing, Jennifer Kale, and Korrek the Barbarian at Dakimh's castle in the Land Between Night and Day. While Howard's brief former allies Jennifer and Korrek were happy to see him, Howard did not want to save the universe; but after his negative emotions sent the Man-Thing into a frenzy, Howard calmed down in order to save his own hide. Dakimh then revealed Joh's origins via the Waters of Eternity (aka Waters of Infinity) and instructed his agents to neutralize Bzzk'Joh before his madness spread too far; to do so, they would need to access the Farce, the binding energy of the universe that permits one to yok it up in the face of death. Unable to actively participate (being dead and all), Dakimh vanished, giving Howard a rifle associated with the Farce and naming Howard as the mission's leader.
    Howard remained disinterested, not seeing the point in saving the universe, but then another Joh agent, the Cuke-Spawn, attacked, and Man-Thing saved him. Seconds later, Joh, traveling through the Waters of Eternity, appeared suddenly and abducted Jennifer--threatening to shave her head if any tried to rescue her.

(Howard the Duck I#23) - As Bzz'Joh teleported away, freezing the Waters of Eternity's so they could not be used to follow him, Jennifer released a magical blast that activated Dakimh's druid-droids (the magical equivalent of robots), NAAC-P30 and 2-2-2-2 (or Tutu for short) to guide the others in their quest across the dimensions. Howard attempted to refuse to participate, but after Korrek threatened to kill him and, after Dakimh's gun proved only able to generate banners containing ridiculous or pithy messages (in this case "Bang!"), Howard reluctantly joined the mission. P30 led Howard, Korrek, and Man-Thing to the Epoch Weasel, a ship Dakimh had purchased 20,000 years previously from Atlantis R.V. Sales (and it was still under warranty). Noting that a moron could operate the craft, P30 chose Korrek as his co-pilot as they headed towards Joh's base; however, an Impirium Emporium delivery truck soon began pelting the Weasel with progressively larger appliances, after which a Customer Service Representative (the ultimate fusion of sonic and psychological warfare) appeared. Losing their attackers "on the upgrade" (as they jumped to another dimension), the group landed on the world Boorbanq, where they sought a new ship from Big Mac at the Hollywok Canteen. After Mac refused to deal with aliens, Korrek slew Mac, and Howard used the Farce  to subdue Mac's allies; Californians upset by Korrek not being laid back, they collapsed under the weight of their own pretentiousness due to their inability to accept the ultimate ridiculousness in themselves and the cosmos, as pointed out by Howard's gun's message, "Down with Peacocks!" Meanwhile, as his Imperium's madness threatened to overwhelm the universe, Bzzk'Joh decided to teach his captive, Jennifer, a lesson HE would never forget, by tickling her.

(Civil War: Battle Damage Report) - Lectronn was on his way to attend the Defenders for a Day event but was diverted when he helped Crimebuster (Frank Moore) and Janus the Golden Angel rescue bystanders from the mystic debris associated with Joh's spreading madness.

(Howard the Duck I#23) - Having "borrowed" a dimensional cruiser, Howard's band approached the Death Store, and Tutu's sensors located a vulnerable point in the Death Store's defenses: irregularities in its bookkeeping department. Joh was defended by the perfume-wielding Counter Corps; jumbo paper clips from Stationery, which P30 neutralized by magnetizing itself; the muscle men of Sporting Goods, defeated by Korrek); and the Dearth Vapors, whose excessive sweetness encased Howard and the Man-Thing in saccharine until the Man-Thing broke free and fried them. Howard again accessed the Farce and assaulted Joh, his gun projecting the message "You have no sense of humor"; devastated, Joh collapsed to the ground in tears. The heroes escaped as Tutu activated every item in the Toy Department simultaneously--causing the Death Store to explode.

(Howard the Duck I#24) - Somewhat unsettled by the recent adventure, Howard hard a hard time falling asleep the following night.

 Comments: Created by Steve Gerber, Val Mayerik, and William Wray.

Profile by Snood.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Star Waaugh was a loose parody of


images: (without ads)
Howard the Duck I#23 - cover


Appearances:
Howard the Duck I#22 (March, 1978) - Steve Gerber (writer), Val Mayerik (pencils), William Wray (inker), Steve Gerber (editor)
Howard the Duck I#23 (April, 1978) - Steve Gerber (writer), Val Mayerik (pencils/inks), Steve Gerber (editor)
Civil War: Battle Damage Report: Lectronn entry (2007) - Ronald Byrd (writer)


Last updated: 07/16/10.

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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