GODS for the 80's

Membership: Ataros, Bromo, Brooke of the Denim Shield, Cubicus Rubicus, Jiggle, Pak-Man, Paranoia, Walkman

Purpose: Contemporary icons and attitudes for the 1980s.

Affiliations: possibly a branch of the Olympian Gods

Enemies: Unrevealed

Base of Operations: Unrevealed; possibly Mt. Olympus

First Appearance: Bizarre Adventures#32/4 (1982)

History: The origins the Gods for the 80s are unknown. Some are apparent offspring of other Gods, while others may be mortals who ascended to godhood. Individual information is detailed in the sub-profiles below.

Comments: Created by Smallwood.

I thought this too obvious too mention, but just in case, for you young whippersnappers out there:
   
These are all parodies of Eighties icons such as the Brooke Shields jeans commercials, The Walkman, Rubik's Cube, Pac Man and others.
    --Will U

    Jules Keen, aka the Streak, was also sought for godhood in the 1980s, and may be associated with this sub-section of the Olympian Pantheon.
    I'm both sort of bemused and intrigued at the same time; I'd say they were all creations of Hermes creating a group of like individuals to hang around him. He would have probably given them false memories to erase their mortal lives.
   
If they ever popped up again, it would have to be in Thor as he restored their mortal guises and they got used to the culture shock of the
Twenty-First century.
    --Will U

    One might speculate that these Gods are the result of the work of Khronos/Chronus, the god of time, not yet seen in the Marvel Universe.
    First off, there is the Olympian Titan, and then there is his religous importance. Cronus (Roman Saturn), god of the Earth, overthrew Ouranous (Roman Uranus) and until the worship of Zeus began, he was reigned as god above all (time, creation, infinity). As an abstract god (i.e. a god of a intangible object you couldn't see or touch), his worshippers made him mightier than Ouranous and placed him in the cosmology along side other such gods (Chaos, Aether, Hemera....).
    But then Zeus overthrew him and ruined all that. Cronus wasn't the maligned figure that modern fiction has portrayed him. He was a god who tried to control time/ his own destiny by consuming his children and hopefully preventing his fate. Cronus still had devout worshippers even after Zeus and Olympian worship came to pass. The ancient Greeks claimed that Cronus was dead, but Cronus worshippers were forced west (think about the Jews forced out of the Holy Land by the Romans). They resettled in what would be Italy and taught their rites to the tribes there. They fused the worship of Cronus with the god Saturn  (or in the Marvel universe where the gods actually exist, they started calling him by the name Saturn they had for him in their own language). Cronus/Saturn then fathered the first kings of what would be Rome until Aeneas conquered the land. Their combined ancestors founded Rome.
    In classical folklore, the image of Zeus overthrowing Cronus became the model for the spirit of the new year overthrowing Father Time at the beginning of the new year, and the new year in the Olympian calender actually fell on another day. Father Time would be an alias for Cronus.
    --Will U

    These were only showcased in this single feature, so there's no evidence that they exist on Earth-616. Nor is there any evidence against it, either!

Maybe Rubicus Cubicus is actually a not-too-distant cousin of the Cenobites (from Hellraiser)... their infernal puzzle boxesmust have been a direct inspiration for Rubik's Cube.
    -- Sean Curtin

CLARIFICATIONS:

ATAROS has no known connection to:

BROMO has no known connection to:

BROOKE of the DENIM SHIELD has no known connection to:

CUBICUS RUBICUS has no known connection to:

JIGGLE has no known connection to:

PARANOIA has no known connection to:

WALKMAN has no known connection to:

 


ATAROS

 

God of the Video Arcade. Ataros is the brother of Hypnos and Thanatos, the Gods of Sleep and Death, and the father of Pak-Man.

Ataros is  god of swift justice who must be offered daily sacrifice of silver coins.

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 


BROMO

 

God of Fast Foods.

A predominantly benevolent entity, Bromo does at times strike the faithless with the wrath of indigestion. Unique to the Bromo cult is the ritual grilled sacrifice of two unblemished oxen, special sauce, onions, lettuce, cheese, lettuce, and pickles on a sesame seed bun.

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 


BROOKE of the DENIM SHIELD

 

Goddess of the Designer Jeans, she is the daughter of Rumpus, a minor war god who bore his denim shield at the celebrated Battle of the Posterior during the war of the Advertising Agents

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 

 

 

 


CUBICUS RUBICUS

 

God of Infernal Obsession

Most powerful of the gods of Hell, Cubicus possesses the bodies of men, women, and children by distracting them with his diabolical amulet, the Cube

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 

 

 


JIGGLE

 

Goddess of Mindless Television Entertainment and titular head of the Screen Goddesses Guild.

Born a minor celestial of the order of angels, Jiggle assumed the status of a divinity upon her marriage to Neilsen, the God of Ratings. The Service of Jiggle includes the Latin Litany, "Veni Vidi Jigglit" ("I came, I saw, she jiggled").

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 

 

 


PAK-MAN

Fleet-footed Messenger God, son of Ataros.

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 


PARANOIA

 

Two-Headed God of both Liberals and Conservatives.

Those who worship Paranoia, the Paranoids, can never look over their shoulders without finding someone (generally themselves) skulking behind

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 

 

 

 


WALKMAN

 

God of Cosmic Indifference.

As preached by St. Sony, "The Guardian Walkman protecteth his flock from political press conferences, occupational tedium, berating bosses, and shrewish wives. He guideth them through the midst of moving vehicles and standeth fast by them in the loneliness of the subway."

 

--Bizarre Adventures#32/4

 

 

 

 

 


Appearances:
Bizarre Adventures#32 (August, 1982) - Steve Smallwood (artist), Denny O'Neil (editor)


Last updated: 04/20/14.

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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