FUNTZEL

Real Name: Presumably Funtzel (it is not clear if this is a first name, surname, or full name)

Identity/ClassExtraterrestrial (race unidentified; semi-humanoid/hippopotamoid/crustacean?)

Occupation: Co-owner of Funtzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery

Group Membership: Funtzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery

Affiliations: Dap, Deadpool (Jack, aka Wade Wilson), Kak, Macho Gomez, Obb, Blackjack O'Hare, Ongulian race, Orksa (sister and business partner), Wheezey, Woodro

EnemiesExto ClanGroot, Id the Selfish Moon, Mondo's Intergalactic Mining and their mercenaries, Rocket ("Rocket Raccoon");
    formerly
Blackjack O'Hare, Deadpool

Known RelativesOrksa (sister), Macho Gomez (brother-in-law, deceased),
    formerly Deadpool (former brother-in-law; presumably divorced);
    possibly Jody and/or Axel (possibly brother-in-laws...possibly divorced or deceased)

Aliases: None

Base of OperationsFuntzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery base on Sendak, in the Maxo quadrant;
    Funtzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery space station, star system and galaxy unidentified;

First Appearance: Deadpool IV#33 (April, 2011)

Powers/Abilities: Funtzel has two sets of eyes, a hippopotamus-like snout (but with both upper and lower teeth) claw-like pincers for hands, sturdy two-toed feet, and a short tail; he appeared to be a mammal, but any other anatomic variations are subject to speculation. He required a helmet to survive in space, but her skin was apparently durable enough the intense cold and vacuum.

    He wore a pair of (apparent) reading glasses on his lower set of eyes, presumably indicating some far-sightedness...which is more common with age, at least in humanity.

    Unlike his much larger sister, Orksa, Funtzel was mostly inclined to discuss situations and delegate tasks to others.

    He had access to a number of ships...including one Deadpool thought was cool.

 

 

 

Height: 3'10"
Weight: 290 lbs.
Eyes: Four; solid light blue (no visible pupil)
Hair: None visible

 

 

 

History:
(Deadpool IV#33 (fb) - BTS) - Funtzel Intergalactic employed Macho Gomez to help Obb with repossessions.

(Deadpool IV#33 (fb) - BTS) - Macho married Funtzel's sister, Orksa.

(Deadpool IV#33 (fb) - BTS) - Macho convinces Orksa that Funtzel Intergalactic should branch out into skip-traces, bond revocations, and...other stuff.

(Deadpool IV#33 (fb) - BTS) - Kak, commander of the remaining Ongulian fleet,  attempted to hire Macho Gomez, via Funtzel Intergalactic, to destroy Id, but was turned down.

(Deadpool IV#33 (fb) - BTS) - Terra-Co hired Funtzel Intergalactic Towing & Recovery to recover their stolen drill.

(Deadpool IV#33) - After Deadpool, believing he had slain Macho Gomez (see comments), flew Macho's ship into space and ran out of fuel, a distress signal was sent and received by Obb, who assumed Macho to be stuck (again) and brought the ship back to Funtzel Intergalactic.

(Deadpool IV#33) - Upon arrival, Obb told Funtzel that Macho had run out of fuel again, and Funtzel wondered if Macho was wasted. After Obb responded, "Dunno, probably..." Deadpool interjected, claiming to have been the one who wasted Macho. Stunned that the powerful Macho had been slain, Funtzel pointed out that there would be consequences for doing that, after which Orksa attacked Deadpool; but Deadpool convinced Orksa to marry him instead, leading Funtzel to reluctantly welcome Deadpool to the business as his new step-brother.

(Deadpool IV#33) - Deadpool met with Funtzel, who explained the business, reiterating several obvious points with pointed annoyance. Deadpool responded in the affirmative when Funtzel asked him if he intended to continue where Macho left off.

(Deadpool IV#33) - Obb informed Funtzel he had obtained a location on Terra-Co's drill (the planet U-235), and that he was ready to take off right away. Deadpool insisted he wanted to go, and Funtzel agreed, despite Obb's objections that Deadpool didn't know the first thing about the business. Funtzel instructed Deadpool to keep a low profile as people took repossessions personally.

(Deadpool IV#33 - BTS) - Based on Obb and Funtzel's reactions, Deadpool apparently practiced minimal stealth and instigated a direct and violent confrontation with the Exto Clan on U-235; Deadpool ultimately retrieved the drill.

(Deadpool IV#33) - When Deadpool proudly delivered the drill to Funtzel and announced he had also launched a brilliant viral marketing campaign. Funtzel chided Deadpool that this wasn't what they did (presumably indicating his lack of discretion/delicacy, etc.), and Deadpool responded, "It's what I do..." Obb requested a meeting with Funtzel, both appalled with Deadpool's approach to the problem and with Orksa's love for Deadpool.

    Funtzel worried that Deadpool might put them out of business, if he didn't get them killed first; but he was unsure of what to do, as Deadpool was family. Obb pointed out, "So was Macho. Until he died..." Funtzel worried that he'd be making Orksa a widow twice in the same month, but Obb insisted that he'd be doing Orksa a favor, as she could do so much better. As Obb continued, Funtzel realized that Obb really loved Orksa. Obb offered to make a few calls, to solve both their problems.

(Deadpool IV#33) - Obb accepted Kak's previous offer, hoping that Deadpool would be killed in the process of trying to destroy the immensely powerful Id.

(Deadpool IV#33) - After Kak explained to Deadpool the threat of their target, Id, Obb told Deadpool that he and Funtzel thought this was way too dangerous, if not impossible. Funtzel clarified that if Deadpool took the job, he took it on alone. Nonetheless, Deadpool accepted Kak's proposal.

(Deadpool IV#34) - Funtzel found Deadpool trapped underneath a passed out and drooling Orksa. Deadpool explained what had happened and asked Funtzel to call Obb to bring his tow truck to lift Orksa off of him.

(Deadpool IV#34 - BTS) - Funtzel called Obb, and he also sent word to Kak, who had been expecting Deadpool to speak in front of his troops.

(Deadpool IV#34) - Funtzel watched as Obb used his tow ship to pulled Orska away. Funtzel attempted to assure Kak that Deadpool was the best, that inside of Deadpool's head hid an incredibly delicate and intricate mind.

(Deadpool IV#35) - Obb met with Funtzel, telling him that Orksa hadn't heard from Deadpool, and that she had also stolen his keys. When Funtzel hypothesized that Deadpool might actually succeed in destroying Id, which would make Deadpool a hero, which would be worth a lot of money to the business; he continued that if Deadpool got himself killed, they would be no worse off than before, but if he succeeded, they'd be a lot better off. Most concerned about Orksa, Obb decided to try to make sure Deadpool perished, but told Funtzel he was going to help Deadpool. Realizing Orksa knew where Deadpool was, Obb asked to borrow Funtzel's ship, which he used to track his own ship.

(Deadpool IV#35 - BTS) - Deadpool stopped Obb but took pity on him. Deadpool's plan succeeded in destroying Id, but Deadpool was forced to cut off all of his limbs to fit in the small escape rocket with Obb.

(Deadpool IV#35) - Funtzel watched a viewscreen in shock as Id detonated.

    As Orksa towed the rocket into Funtzel Intergalactic, Funtzel excited greeted her, exclaiming Deadpool's success. Both Funtzel and Orksa were shocked to see Deadpool's bleeding, limbless body fall out of the rocket. When Orksa confronted Obb, Funtzel tried to calm her down, but Orksa ultimately embraced Obb, his risk-taking having made her realize she loved him.

    A few days later, Funtzel watched in silence as Deadpool gave Orksa and Obb his blessing, and then announced his departure and intent to steal one of Funtzel's ships (the cool one) before heading out.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Infinite Comic#2 - BTS) - Blackjack O'Hare, disguised as a procynoine (raccoonoid) similar to Rocket slew Wheezey, one of Funtzel's men. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#3 (fb) - BTS) - Funtzel had his men investigate. They came back with what he considered a "bunch of mumbo jumbo" involving some crazy people (Loonies) off in some tower and some gibberish about some "Half-Book." Considering these dead ends, Funtzel stopped looking. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#3 (fb) - BTS) - Rocket apparently learned the identity of the man who had seen another one like him on Rigel VII (Wheezy) and for whom he worked (Funtzel). Rocket then arranged a convoluted plot to bring him into contact with Funtzel. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#2 - BTS) - Rocket (aided by Groot) broke Macho Gomez out of prison. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#3 - BTS) - Macho transported Rocket and Groot to Sendak, crashing the Machomobile in the process. As they approached Funtzel's local base, Dap and Woodro confronted them, with taunts escalating into a battle where Rocket took out a number of Funtzel's agents before another agent was convinced to tow the Machomobile and them into town.

(Rocket Raccoon II#3) - Meeting with Rocket, Funtzel asked if he had to bang up his men so badly, after which Funtzel asked Macho if it wasn't funny how they were considered criminals for acting like thugs, while Rocket and his crew were called the Guardians of the Galaxy while performing similar actions. funtzel-extraterrestrial-deadpool-rr2-4-eyeball_squids

    Funtzel then took Rocket back to his office, telling Macho to get Groot a drink, and telling the rest of his men to stop bleeding all over the place. Over drinks (and a bag of eyeball-squid-things) Funtzel noted that he felt it hard to believe that Rocket had come to him seeking to solve a frame-up, Rocket asked if there was anyone more connected to the system's underworld. Noting that Rocket didn't wear "%$#@" well, Funtzel told him he didn't know anything about this mysterious racc-being, even when Rocket offered a few "gilos" to help his memory. 

    When Rocket argued that Funtzel wasn't the sort to have allowed one of his men (Wheezey) to have been killed without consequences, Funtzel shared what he had learned about Loonies and the "Half-Book." Excited at the prospect of the Book of Half-World (Gideon's Bible) being real, Rocket asked if Funtzel had found it. Laughing, Funtzel told Rocket that it was nothing but folklore nonsense and fairy tales, which led an irate Rocket to knock away his bag of eyeball-squids and raise his fist to show Funtzel what he really was (not a talking animal in a children's story). However, the lights then went out (shut off by the Rocket imposter, Blackjack O'Hare), surprising them both. 

    Rocket told Funtzel to give him the gun he had under the table, and Funtzel started to protest that he couldn't believe Rocket didn't trust him, but instead gave him the gun so he could protect them both. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#3 - BTS) - After a short skirmish, the Rocket imposter turned the lights back on, revealing he had captured and bound Groot. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#4 (fb) - BTS) - Funtzel slipped out of the building at some point. The Rocket imposter left a crate of Hyperiam gems out front with Funtzel, giving these to him (and sparing his life) in return for not interfering with his mission against Rocket (see comments). There was also apparently an agreement that Funtzel would share the gems with Macho Gomez and the rest of his men who stayed out of the conflict. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#4 - BTS) - The disguised O'Hare offered a deal to Macho and other agents of Funtzel who arrived, "You and these gentleman leave now and not only will I spare your life, but Funtzel will share the crate of Hyperiam gems I left with him out front." Acknowledging the value of a confirmed and immediate pay-off over what Rocket was hypothetically offering him, Macho accepted the deal and departed with his friends. 

    Funtzel's base was subsequently leveled via the fight between Blackjack (after he revealed his true identity) and his Black Bunny Brigade, which further escalated into the battle against the Ex-Terminators, jilted lovers of Rocket seeking vengeance against him.

Comments: Created by Daniel Way, Carlo Barbieri, and Walden Wong.

    Why Funtzel is dwarven while his sister is gigantic is unexplained...but maybe that's the norm for their race...or maybe Orska is a mutant or some other variation from her race.

    As of this time, Funtzel's and Orksa's race of origin is unidentified. I'm not aware of other members of their race, but maybe we've seen someone like them before...or will again...

    After the lights went out, Blackjack O'Hare (as the Rocket imposter) had a brief skirmish with Rocket before revealing his existence. While Funtzel wasn't shown again after he gave Rocket his weapon, there was no time for Blackjack to have made a deal with Funtzel to arrange his non-interference. Obviously, Blackjack's offer could have been delivered by his Black Bunny Brigade, or perhaps Blackjack had made the deal with Funtzel in advance. It wasn't clear.

    Macho and Funtzel both repeatedly noted how it made no sense that Rocket was seeking out Funtzel to learn who was framing him. The only thing that makes sense to me is that Rocket knew that Wheezey was an agent of Funtzel, and that that was the connection that made him seek out Funtzel.

    In Rocket Raccoon II#3, Rocket notes that he saw Wheezey die on Rigel Seven. That's in contradiction with the original story, in which Wheezey tells Rocket he had seen someone just like him on Rigel Seven, after which Rocket notes that he had never been to Rigel Seven. I think Rocket Raccoon II#3 is in error based on the weight of evidence.

Profile by Snood.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Funtzel
should be distinguished from:


Funtzel Intergalactic Towing and Recovery space station

    Funtzel Intergalactic is "open till infinity" (actually, it was the infinity symbol on their signs). The company business was towing and recovery of anything of value, such as repossession and salvage. They generally operated in a non-confrontational manner, re-possessing things without any struggle with the owner.

    The company is run by Funtzel, though Orksa is co-owner. Obb served as their field worker, as did Macho Gomez. Deadpool took over Macho Gomez's role for a time, but left the group after Id's destruction. It is unrevealed whether Axel and/or Jody were affiliated with Funtzel Intergalactic, or if they were just Orksa's lovers.


 

 

--Deadpool IV#33 (33 (fb) - BTS, 33-35

 


 Funtzel Intergalactic Towing and Recovery Sendak base

funtzel-extraterrestrial-deadpool-sendak-base-distantfuntzel-extraterrestrial-deadpool-sendak-base-close(Rocket Raccoon II#3) - As Macho, Groot, and Rocket approached Funtzel's local base, Dap and Woodro confronted them, with taunts escalating into a battle where Rocket took out a number of Funtzel's agents before another agent was convinced to tow the Machomobile and them into town.

(Rocket Raccoon II#3) - Meeting with Rocket, Funtzel took him back to his office, telling Macho to get Groot a drink, and telling the rest of his men to stop bleeding all over the place. 

    Rocket's questions led to hostility, at which point Blackjack O'Hare turned out the lights.

(Rocket Raccoon II#3 - BTS) - After a short skirmish, Blackjack turned the lights back on, revealing he had captured and bound Groot. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#4 (fb) - BTS) - Funtzel slipped out of the building at some point. The Rocket imposter left a crate of Hyperiam gems out front with Funtzel, giving these to him (and sparing his life) in return for not interfering with his mission against Rocket (see comments). There was also apparently an agreement that Funtzel would share the gems with Macho Gomez and the rest of his men who stayed out of the conflict. 

(Rocket Raccoon II#4 - BTS) - The disguised O'Hare offered a deal to Macho and other agents of Funtzel who arrived, "You and these gentleman leave now and not only will I spare your life, but Funtzel will share the crate of Hyperiam gems I left with him out front." Acknowledging the value of a confirmed and immediate pay-off over what Rocket was hypothetically offering him, Macho accepted the deal and departed with his friends. 

    Funtzel's base was subsequently leveled via the fight between Blackjack (after he revealed his true identity) and his Black Bunny Brigade, which further escalated into the battle against the Ex-Terminators, jilted lovers of Rocket seeking vengeance against him.


Funtzel's "cool" ship

    When he left Funtzel Intergalactic, Deadpool said, "Funtzel? I'm stealing one of your cars, buddy. The cool one."

The driver could program in a destination, and the ship would take it from there.

Upon returning to Earth, Deadpool crashed the ship into a giant popcorn kernel created by Bob, Agent of Hydra, destroying both ship and kernel.

 

--Deadpool IV#35 (36


images: (without ads)
Deadpool IV#33
        pg. 8, panel 1 (Funtzel intergalactic)
        pg. 12, panel 1 (desk)
            panel 2 (face & glasses);
        pg. 13, panel 1 (face, profile);
        pg. 17, panel 2 (full body, profile)
        last page (main image)
    #34, story page 2, panel 2 (full-small);
        pg. 3, panel 1 (spaceship)
    #35, last page, panel 1 (cool ship)
Rocket Raccoon II#4, pg. 9, panel 4 (Sendak base, distant);
        pg. 12, panel 1 (Sendak base, close)


Appearances:
Deadpool IV#33 (April, 2011) - Daniel Way (writer), Carlo Barbieri (penciler), Walden Wong (inker), Jody Leheup & Jordan D. White (editors)
Deadpool IV#34-35 (May-June, 2011) - Daniel Way (writer), Carlo Barbieri (penciler), Walden Wong (inker), Jordan D. White (editors)
Deadpool IV#36 (June, 2011) - Daniel Way (writer), Sheldon Vella (artist), Jordan D. White (editor), Nick Lowe (senior editor)
Rocket Raccoon II#2-4 (October-December, 2014) - Skottie Young (writer & artist), Devin Lewis (assistant editor), Sana Amanat (editor), Nick Lowe (senior editor)


First posted: 05/11/2014
Last updated: 08/12/2022

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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