EARTH-94319 (EARTH-SPIDEY'S SPECTACULAR SILLIES)

Type: Alternate Earth

Environment: Earth-like

Usual means of access: Presumably vibrational attunement

Dominant Life Form: Humans, mutants, robots

Significant Inhabitants: Doctor Octopus, the Eggs-Men, Human Torch, Iceman, Iron Man, Magneto, Mister Fantastic, Morph, the Pun-isher, Scent-inels, Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Thor, Mary Jane Watson-Parker, Wool-verine, the X-Men (Beast/Hank McCoy, Cyclops, Gambit, Jubilee, Professor X, Rogue, Storm, Wolverine)

First Appearance: Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (March, 1994)

History: (Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (fb) - BTS) - Living on the Beast Coast, the mutant hero X-Men team included members such as Rogue, whose favorite food was Beef St-Rogue-aganoff, and Wolverine, who dressed up as Santa Claws during Christmas. At some point, the heroic Spider-Man married Mary Jane Watson on he called his "webbing day."

(Spider-Man Magazine I#3 (fb) - BTS) - Following the creation of giant robot skunks called Scent-inels, the X-Men's Gambit took a cruise but proved unable to play cards because the captain was standing on the deck. The heroic Mister Fantastic subsequently went to the scene of an accident when the doctor called for a stretcher.

(Spider-Man Magazine I#6 (fb) - BTS) - Spider-Man climbed up the side of a greenhouse to pick some wallflowers.

(Spider-Man Magazine I#9 (fb) - BTS) - At one point, a cow attempted to join the X-Men because it was a "moo-tant."

(Spider-Man Magazine I#1) - Spider-Man, who called the change in his pockets "Spider-cents,"  licensed out his likeness for a fluffy white dessert called Webbed Cream as the sheep Wool-verine appeared. The X-Men's enemy Magneto became popular due to his literally magnetic personality that magnetically attracted the X-Men Rogue and Cyclops.

(Spider-Man Magazine I#3) - Human Torch and Spider-Man declared their favorite days as "Fry-day" and "Webs-day," respectively, as new heroes chicken thief-battling Eggs-Men and bad joke-telling Pun-isher made their public debuts. While villains defeated by Thor were called "Thor losers," Iron Man began wearing steel wool sweaters.

(Spider-Man Magazine I#6) - Rogue and Jubilee noticed Spider-Man acting strangely and when Spider-Man fell from the wall, Jubilee remarked that he was definitely "off the wall" that day. Despite the Scent-inels remaining evil, several of the X-Men pursued personal days, with Storm knowing what it was going to be like outside due to having the weather at her fingertips, Professor X getting a "mew-tant" kitten that fired optic blasts and Gambit using charge-d cards to pay for his purchases. After Spider-Man acquired the two-wheeled web-scooter that he pushed with one foot, he decided to become a baseball pitcher as the Amazing Slider-Man.

(Spider-Man Magazine I#9) - Doctor Octopus went camping and used his tentacles as a tent while Iceman and Human Torch met up, causing freezer burn. During the winter, Spider-Man, whose favorite dessert was pineapple upside down cake, dressed warmly in a Peter Parka. Gambit began calling Jubilee "Cherie Jubilee" and Hank McCoy grew angry during an attack on mutants, as he felt like it brought out the Beast in him. When Jubilee asked Cyclops what another name for Morph would be, Cyclops jokingly replied that Morph was an "X-Friend" of Wolverine's.

Comments: Created by Tom Brevoort, Holly Gates, Howard Bender and Mike Esposito.

Earth-94319 was the alternate Earth in which all of the events mentioned in the "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" joke section of the 1994 Spider-Man Magazine occurred. Random issues of the Magazine included the section, which contained kid-friendly jokes for readers with several drawings to go along with the jokes.

Near as I can tell, the first "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" section of Spider-Man Magazine was written by the Magazine's contributing writers Tom Brevoort and Holly Gates. Additionally, in the Magazine's issue 1, the Magazine credited fictional Earth-616 natives Joy Mercado and Ben Urich as contributing writers as well.

There wasn't much in the way of ongoing continuity between each issue's "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" but there were some repeat mentions of characters so it seems likely all of the jokes occurred on a single, humorous word with stretched laws of physics, not like Earth-665 (Not Brand Ecch), Earth-9047 (What The--?!) and Earth-95120 (Marvel Riot).

Profile by Proto-Man.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Earth-94319 (Earth-Spidey's Spectacular Sillies) has no known connections to:


Beast

Hank McCoy got angry at people attacking mutants, as he felt it brought out the Beast in him.

He presumably had the same superhuman agility and strength that his Earth-616 counterpart had.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#9 - BTS


Cyclops

Cyclops appeared much the same as his Earth-616 counterpart until he was magnetically drawn to Magneto alongside Rogue. When Jubilee later asked Cyclops what another name for Morph would be, Cyclops explained that Morph was an "X-Friend" of Wolverine's.

Cyclops presumably had the same optic blast abilities that his Earth-616 counterpart had.


--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (#9  -BTS,

Doctor Octopus

Doctor Octopus was similar to his Earth-616 counterpart aside from using his tentacles as a tent when he went camping.

Doctor Octopus had a psychic link to a set of metallic tentacles like his Earth-616 counterpart.



--Spider-Man Magazine I#9

The Eggs-Men

The Eggs-Men were a group of heroes banded together to battle mutant chicken thieves.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 - BTS

Gambit

Gambit was similar to his Earth-616 counterpart. When he went on a cruise, he wanted to play cards but the ship's captain was standing on the deck and he later went shopping, where he attempted to pay using his charge-d cards. Gambit later took to calling the X-Men's youngest member Jubilee "Cherie Jubilee."

Gambit had the same ability to charge objects with explosive kinetic energy that his Earth-616 counterpart had.


--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 (#6 - BTS, #9 - BTS,

Human Torch

Human Torch was mostly the same as his Earth-616 counterpart, although his favorite day was "Fry-day." Later, Human Torch encountered Iceman and freezer burn ensued.

Human Torch had the same fire manipulation powers that his Earth-616 counterpart had.




--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 (#9 - BTS, 

Iceman

Iceman presumably was similar to his Earth-616 counterpart up until he encountered the Human Torch and the two caused freezer burn.

Iceman presumably had the same cold manipulation powers as his Earth-616 counterpart.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#9 - BTS

Iron Man

Iron Man was similar to his Earth-616 counterpart up until he took to wearing steel wool sweaters.

Much like his Earth-616 counterpart, Iron Man wore a sophisticated suit of armor.






--Spider-Man Magazine I#3

Jubilee

The youngest member of the X-Men, Jubilee was sought out by Rogue, who noticed Spider-Man was acting strangely. Jubilee replied that Spider-Man was really "off the wall." Jubilee later asked Cyclops what another name for Morph would be and Cyclops replied that Morph was an "X-Friend" of Wolverine's.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#6 - BTS (#9 - BTS,

Magneto

Magneto was an enemy of the X-Men, much like his 616 counterpart. When Magneto's powers to magnetically attract others to him became known, Magneto became quite popular.

Magneto had the ability to magnetically attract other beings to his person.





--Spider-Man Magazine I#1

Mister Fantastic

Mister Fantastic was the same as his Earth-616 counterpart up until he visited the scene of an accident because the doctor called for a stretcher.

Mister Fantastic had the same stretching powers that his 616 counterpart had.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 - BTS

Morph

Morph was apparently a former member of the X-Men and friend of Wolverine. When Jubilee asked what another name for him would be, Cyclops referred to Morph as an "X-Friend."

--Spider-Man Magazine I#9 - BTS

Professor X

Professor X was the same as his Earth-616 counterpart up until he got a green "mew-tant" kitten that could fire optic blasts from its eyes.

Professor X presumably had the same telepathic powers as his Earth-616 counterpart. He retained mobility by using a hoverchair.



--Spider-Man Magazine I#6

The Pun-isher

The Pun-isher was a hero who loved making bad jokes.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 - BTS

Rogue

Rogue was much the same as her Earth-616 counterpart up until she was magnetically attracted to Magneto during a battle against him. Declaring her favorite food to be "Beef St-Rogue-anoff," She later noticed Spider-Man acting strangely and questioned Jubilee about it, learning that Spider-Man was indeed acting "off the wall."

Rogue presumably possessed the same power absorbing, superhuman strength, durability and flight powers that were possessed by her Earth-616 counterpart.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (#6 - BTS,

Scent-inels

Scent-inels were evil, giant-sized robot skunks.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 - BTS (#6 - BTS,

Spider-Man

Spider-Man was similar to his Earth-616 counterpart up until he married Mary Jane on his "webbing day." He later climbed the side of a greenhouse in an attempt to pick wallflowers and, after he began calling his spare change "Spider-cents," Spider-Man licensed his likeness out for a dessert called Webbed Cream. He eventually decided that his favorite day of the week was "Webs-day" and later fell off a well, prompting the X-Men's Rogue and Jubilee to comment on how he was acting "off the wall." He soon began using a two-wheeled vehicle that he pushed with one leg, dubbed the "web-scooter," before briefly changing careers altogether when he became a baseball pitcher under the alias of the "Amazing Slider-Man." He subsequently returned to heroics, proclaiming his love for pineapple upside down cake and wearing a Peter Parka during the winter season.

Spider-Man had the same superhuman strength, agility, danger-warning sense and ability to stick to solid surfaces that his Earth-616 counterpart has. He also utilized web-shooters to fire chemical webbing.




--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (#3 - BTS, #6, #9,

Storm

Storm was basically the same as her Earth-616 counterpart, although she always knew what it was like outside due to having the weather at her fingertips.

Storm had the same weather-manipulating powers as her Earth-616 counterpart.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#6 - BTS

Thor

Thor was the same as his Earth-616 counterpart, although those defeated by Thor were often called "Thor losers."

Thor presumably had the same superhuman physical attributes and weather-manipulation powers possessed by his Earth-616 counterpart.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#3 - BTS

Mary Jane Watson-Parker

Mary Jane Watson was mostly the same as her Earth-616 counterpart up until she married Spider-Man on his "webbing day."





--Spider-Man Magazine I#1

Wolverine

Wolverine was mostly the same as his Earth-616 counterpart up until he started dressing up as Santa Claws for Christmas. He was also a former friend of Morph.

Wolverine had the same superhuman senses, healing factor and claws that his Earth-616 counterpart had.




--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (#9 - BTS,

Wool-verine

Wool-verine was a sheep created by crossing the sheep with the X-Men (presumably through genetic experimentation).

--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 - BTS

X-Men

The X-Men were a group of mutant heroes, much like on Earth-616. Living on the Beast Coast, their roster contained Rogue, Storm, Wolverine, Cyclops, Gambit, Jubilee, Beast and Professor X, with Jubilee being their youngest member. At one point, a "moo-tant" cow attempted to join the team.

--Spider-Man Magazine I#1 - BTS (#9 - BTS,

images: (without ads)
Spider-Man Magazine I#9, p18, pan3 (Spider-Man eating pineapple upside down cake while upside down, main image)
Spider-Man Magazine I#1, p5, pan2 (Spider-Man as the Amazing Slider-Man, supplemental image)
Spider-Man Magazine I#1, p32, pan1 (Cyclops, Magneto & Rogue)
Spider-Man Magazine I#9, p18, pan1 (Doctor Octopus)
Spider-Man Magazine I#3, p32, pan2 (Gambit)
Spider-Man Magazine I#3, p32, pan1 (Human Torch)
Spider-Man Magazine I#3, p32, pan3 (Iron Man)
Spider-Man Magazine I#6, p5, pan3 (Professor X)
Spider-Man Magazine I#6, p5, pan1 (Spider-Man)
Spider-Man Magazine I#1, p32, pan3 (Mary Jane Watson-Parker)
Spider-Man Magazine I#1, p32, pan2 (Wolverine/Santa Claws)


Appearances:
Spider-Man Magazine I#1 (March, 1994) - "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" - Tom Brevoort, Holly Gates (contributing writers), Howard Bender, Mike Esposito (art), Michael Teitelbaum (editor)
Spider-Man Magazine I#3 (July, 1994) - "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" - Steve Morgenstern (writer), Howard Bender (art), Michael Teitelbaum (editor)
Spider-Man Magazine I#6 (October, 1994) - "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" - Mike Pellowski (writer), Howard Bender (art), Michael Teitelbaum (editor)
Spider-Man Magazine I#9 (January, 1995) - "Spidey's Spectacular Sillies" - Mike Pellowski (writers), Howard Bender (art), Michael Teitelbaum (editor)


First Posted: 01/20/2020
Last updated: 01/20/2020

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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