WOLVERWEENIE

Real Name: Unrevealed

Identity/Class: Extradimensional (Earth-9047) human mutant

Occupation: Adventurer

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: Bulk, Darkgeek, Deathlox, Fantastical Four (Human Scorch, Inevitable Woman (though I didn't see her), Mr. Fantastical, Thung), Forbush Man of Earth-665, Ghost Writer, Noman, Katy Powder, Pulverizer (Frank Casket), Sore, Spidey-Man, Sunk-Mariner (No-More), Visage

Enemies: Don Druglordo, Dumsday, Gutter Gang, Marble Corporate Lawyers, Medoozy, Tenpin of Crime, Toast Rider

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: Wolveream, Wolvie, Wulvoream

Base of Operations: Mobile

First Appearance: What The--?!#2 (September, 1988)

Powers/Abilities: Wolverweenie is a mutant with a healing factor and an Adam-Antium skeleton, including three retractable claws on each hand. He is a best-selling character, an expert in monologues, making sushi, maiming criminals and being the best at what he does and what he does is telling everyone about it.

Height: 5'3" (by approximation)
Weight: 300 lbs. (by approximation)
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Black

History:
(What The--?!#2) - Wolvie passed by while Spidey-Man swung by while Superbman flew by to drop off Nosey Dame in New York City nearby the Fantastical Four's headquarters.

(What The--?!#5/1 (fb) - BTS) - Wulvoream and Pulverizer received both a letter from the Gutter Gang, who challenged each of them to apprehend them.

(What The--?!#5/1) - Wulvoream and Pulverizer met and shouted at each other until their letterer demanded action and refused to keep lettering them, but he got scared and kept lettering when they threatened him. The Gutter Gang then approached Wulvoream and Pulverizer telling them that they planned to resolve their reputation as bad guys by being caught by the baddest guy around though they were not sure who the baddest guy was. Wulvoream and Pulverizer knew the Gutter Gang was trying to trick them into fighting each other and it worked as soon as the bell rang. Pulverizer shot up Wulvoream over and over again on street, the beach, the street and the ring. Beaten up Wulvoream, bandaged up, used his claws to scratch a chalkboard. Before losing consciousness Pulverizer shot Wulvoream with his knife (?). The Gutter Gang's leader declared the Tenpin of Crime, who had been behind everything, the winner, but the two vigilantes were not done yet. Upon hearing they were tricked by the Tenpin they sought him out in his personal skyscraper to kill him, but the Tenpin tricked them once again into fighting each other.

(What The--?!#10/2) - Standing behind the Human Scorch he was seen grilling some marshmallows on his fire while the Human Scorch talked to Milk.

(What The--?!#11/2) - Wolveream's New Years Resolution was to appear in more Marble Comics.

(What The--?!#17/1 (fb) ) - In Nastynpoor Wolverweenie promised a dying man to go after Don Druglordo in Costa Lottamoola.

(What The--?!#17/1) - Wolverweenie wandered through the swamps of Costa Lottamoola and after another 1 ½ hours remembered why he was there. He ignored a lemonade stand even though he was dehydrated and all his muscles and Adam-Antium bones were screaming in pain. When he smelled the Pulverizer nearby he snuck up on him, but Pulverizer avoided his attack and Wolverweenie landed in the mud. Mistaking him for a bog beast Pulverizer shot Wolverweenie full of bullets, but thankfully Wolverweenie had healing powers. They then argued why they were in each others story and were they actually were (Pulverizer claimed they were in Colombia because in his series the names of real countries were used while Wolverweenie insisted they were in Costa Lottamoola). When bugs attacked Wolverweenie Pulverizer shot them off him by putting Wolverweenie full of holes once again. Teaming up Wolverweenie and Pulverizer killed any creature they encountered on their way through the rainforest. They found Don Druglordo's camp and started taking out his little army. Wolverweenie started a silent killing spree and asked Pulverizer to do the same, but he used a gun (a small gun though) and the alarm was rang. While Wolverweenie went into a monologue about what he does, Pulverizer threw everything he had at Don Druglordo's army. Wolverweenie was surprised that none of their bullets hit him, which Pulverizer explained by telling him that they had bad guy bullets, which never hit. Eventually a sink was tossed at Wolverweenie and then all the guns because Druglordo's army were out of bullets. Finally arriving at Druglordo's gate Wolverweenie and Pulverizer crashed through the gate and found Don Druglordo defeated by Sore, She-Bulk and Pumpin' Iron Man, who didn't even have to kill Druglordo's henchmen due to their super powers. After the heroes took off Pulverizer blamed Wolverweenie because super heroes would've never appeared in his own stories because they were realistic. They walked back to Pulverizer's Warwagon to get out of Colombia (or Costa Lottamoola as Wolverweenie still claimed).

(What The--?!#19/1 (fb) - BTS) - Wolvie, Pulverizer and Ghost Writer teamed up to help other heroes becoming more successful by turning them darker. They helped Deathlox, Noman and Katy Powder.

(What The--?!#19/1) - The trio turned their attention to young hero Darkgeek to help him become more popular. Wolvie snuck with Darkgeek into a warehouse and killed all guards while looking for the main villain. After everyone was dead Wolvie was sure the main villain was buried somewhere under all the bodies.

   After their lessons the three vigilantes watched Darkgeek from a roof and saw him attacking a bookstore owner for wasting energy, though they were disappointed he didn't kill him. Wolvie told Pulverizer to give Darkgeek a chance to learn from his mistakes before they turned their attention to Night Slasher, the next hero in need of their help.

(What The--?!#20/2 - BTS) - When Negative Forbush Man used his Infinity Wart powers to hurl Marble Comics trading cards at Milk & Cookies, Milk told Cookies to look out for a Wolveream card. Shortly after Negative Forbush Man turned the trading cards into the actual heroes to trap Milk & Cookies with all of Marble Comics' heroes in a single, undersized panel.

(What The--?!#21/4) - Pulverizer and Wolverweenie put up a roadblock to stop Toast Rider and Medoozy because they were cutting into their sales with their newfound popularity, but Toast Rider used his Pennies Stare to take down the roadblock, Wolverweenie and Pulverizer with royalties.

(What The--?!#22/1) - Pulverizer and Wolverweenie jumped into action (literally) down to a street full of criminals, but Wolverweenie got into an argument with Pulverizer because he only received second billing. While the villains waited Wolverweenie and Pulverizer tried to outdo each other. Wolverweenie made fresh sushi while Pulverizer shot up a building. Wolverweenie showed an article about how popular he was while Pulverizer showed him an essay written about him. Pulverizer was laughed at by everyone when he tried to impress Wolverweenie by showing him that he had his own movie with Dork Lumpgrin playing the Pulverizer. They then argued whose comics sold better and decided to go to Marble Comics to ask there. When they witnessed a fight breaking out between Barry Dutter and Bob Harras at Marble Comics they left because they were scared of real violence, but on their way out the building they were confronted by the Marble Corporate Lawyers, who told them that they were in violation of their contracts since page one, panel two for not including a big fight scene. As penalty Wolverweenie and Pulverizer were forced to co-star in Fluffy Wuffy Tales.

(What The--?!#26/10) - Wolvie joined the battle against Dumsday. When they got their butts handed to them by Dumsday Wolvie, Spidey-Man and Bulk decided to find someone less important than them to sacrifice to salvage their reputation and increase sales. They found Forbush Man and sent him into battle against Dumsday while they snuck away.

Comments: Created by John Byrne (writer/pencils) & Jerry Ordway (inks).

There is a lot of artistic license between appearances.


















What The--?! was filled with alternate realities in one-off stories and some of them included Wolverine counterparts. Wolverweenie was only one of many versions of Wolverine and there is no official continuity available for him and some appearances I included seemed questionable, but not as questionable as the ones not included:

Profile by Markus Raymond.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Wolverweenie should not be confused with:


images
What The--?!#5, p2, pan2 (being the best at what he does)
What The--?!#17, p7, pan6 (being the best at what he does with Pulverizer)
What The--?!#19, p5, pan2 (still the best at what he does)
What The--?!#22, p8 (the fluffiest at what he does)


Appearances:
What The--?!#2 (September, 1988) - John Byrne (writer/pencils), Jerry Ordway (inks), Carl Potts (editor)
What The--?!#5/1 (July, 1989) - Doug Rice (writer), Hilary Barta (writer/artist), Carl Potts (editor)
What The--?!#10/2 (January, 1991) - Sholly Fisch (writer), Rurik Tyler (artist), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#11/2 (March, 1991) - Darren Auck (writer/artist), Craig Anderson (editor)
What The--?!#17/1 (March, 1992) - Peter Gillis (writer), Hilary Barta (writer/artist), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#19/1 (July, 1992) - Scott Lobdell (writer), Rick Stasi (pencils), Mike DeCarlo (inks), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#20/2 (August, 1992) - Sholly Fisch (writer), Rurik Tyler (artist), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#21/1 (September, 1992) - Sholly Fisch (writer), Marie Severin (artist), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#22/1 (October, 1992) - Hilary Barta (writer/inks), Doug Rice (writers), Joe Staton (pencils), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)
What The--?!#26/10 (Winter 1993) - Aaron Lopresti (writer/artist), Renée Witterstaetter (editor)


First Posted: 10/13/2019
Last updated: 10/13/2019

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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