MILK AND COOKIES
MILK AND COOKIES
Purpose: Adventurers
Affiliations: Human Scorch, Scaredevil, Wolverina;
Forbush Man of Earth-665;
Spider-Ham of Earth-8311
Enemies: A dinosaur, Col. Gate, Myron, Negative Forbush Man, S'aanta
Base of Operations: Earth-9047
First Appearance: (as a pin-up feature) What The?!#7 (April, 1990); (full) What The?!#10/2 (January, 1991)
History: (What The?!#10/2) - The duo Milk and Cookies stopped a bank robbery by Earth-9047 versions of the Red Skull, Juggernaut and others. Their enemy Col. Gate was filled with hatred at his enemies stopping his latest plan and devised an even greater plan to destroy them. He robbed Manny's House of Cake 'N' Candy, purposely leaving behind the directions to his hideout. As the two heroes raced to his lair, they met up with the Human Scorch, who was searching for his three kidnapped partners. Arriving at the hideout, Col. Gate released the robotic S'aanta on the heroes. However, Milk and Cookies managed to make it wink and tap its nose, causing it to shoot upwards into space, where it exploded. They were about to take down Gate, but Milk, confused about their role, begged Cookies for mercy, and Col. Gate escaped. The two then ran off to fight other crimes and retrieve Cookie's vehicle from a tow-away zone.
(What The?!#14/3) - Milk and Cookies journeyed to Riverdull to battle a
dinosaur and find time to fit some angst into their feature ("How's your aunt with the rare
but nonetheless lingering heart condition?"). The dinosaur knocked Milk into Pop Tart's
Choclit Shop, where she was horrified to find a group of "remarkably clean-cut" teenagers
eating unwholesome food. She attempted to confront the teens on the importance of a healthy
diet in one's younger years, but the red-headed boy who led the teens revealed he was actually
an old man, and had been "America's typical teenager" for 50 years, and no longer had his original
hair or teeth. Milk apologized and left.
Meanwhile, Coookies defeated the dinosaur by challenging it to a game of chess. The dinosaur asked for "best two out of three."
(What the#16/2) - Cookies, revealed as a follower of
Judaism, stood outside of the house of a family
celebrating Chanuka. He recalled his own family,
including his brother (who was not, repeat, not named
Mikey). Having asked directions from Scaredevil,
Cookies realized he had come to the wrong house. A
rabbit next to him advised him about Albuquerque.
An unknown figure began disrupting the holiday. Though
Milk suspected the involvement of the Red Skulker or
Saddam Hussein, it in fact turned out to be a bitter
Jewish young male named Myron.
(What The?!#20) - Milk & Cookies fought alongside Spider-Ham (Earth-8311), Forbush Man (Earth-665) and Wolverina the Negative Forbush Man to stop him from merging their three worlds into one. Comments: Created by Sholly Fisch
and Rurik Tyler. Col. Gate? Get it? Colgate? Huh? Huh?!?!? The pin-up in What The?!#7 read "Coming NEVER from Marvel Comics!" Considering they kept turning up in What The?!, that wasn't quite true, was it?
Sholly Fisch had this to say:
So imagine my surprise when, a while later, What The--?!-editor Terry Fitzpatrick told me that Rurik Tyler (the artist who drew the gag page) had approached him about doing a series of stories about Milk & Cookies. But Terry felt that, since I had come up with the concept, I really should get first crack at it. Still kind of baffled but grateful, I suggested to Terry that I could give Rurik a call, and we could work out something that we could do together. Terry liked the idea, and said that if we worked something out, we could make Milk & Cookies a recurring part of What The--?!, alternating between full, 6-8 page stories and two-page gag/mini-stories. (For that reason, I wrote a caption for the splash of the first story: "Because Rurik Tyler demanded it!" -- but it got edited to the much less in-jokey "Because your dentist demanded it!" when the story saw print.) In the end, M&C appeared in about a half-dozen stories. And the rest is long-forgotten history... Clarifications: No known connection to Cookies is a grim and gritty character, and
the partner of Milk. He drove around with her stopping crimes,
including those committed by Col. Gate. He has an aunt with a rare but
lingering heart condition. He has a cookie-like
exterior shell, and is exceptionally strong. His belt of fig newtons can be
loaded into a special machine gun for combat. --What The?!#10/2 (What The?!#10/2, 14/3, 16/2 Milk is a 16 year old girl who didn't know how she
acquired her powers, which included flying and emitting blasts of a
milk-like substance from her hands as concussive forces. She takes
a healthy diet very seriously. She had a crush on the Human Scorch, and
helped him and Cookies stop Col. Gate and S'aanta.
Upset over Milk and Cookies ruining his previous plans,
the criminal mastermind known as Col. Gate set a trap for them by
robbing a bakery and leaving his address behind. When the heroes
arrived, Gate unleashed S'aanta, but the robot was quickly
defeated. Right before Cookies killed the villain, Milk talked
her partner out of it. He tried to escape, but was rounded up by
the Human Scorch.
Col. Gate unleashed this robot on the unsuspecting heroes, until they
realized that the "Night Before Christmas" strategy would work on it.
With Milk blasting its eye with milk, causing it to wink, Cookies made
it touch its own nose, causing it to shoot into outer space, where it
exploded. What The?!#10, story 2, page 9, panel 1 (main image
&Cookies)
What The?!#14 (September, 1991) - Sholly Fisch (writer), Rurik Tyler (artist), Renee Witterstaetter (editor) Last
updated: 06/08/05. Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know. Non-Marvel
Copyright info
When I came up with the idea for Milk & Cookies, it was intended to be a one-shot, one-page gag based on the then-recent trend of characters like Cloak & Dagger, Hammer & Anvil, etc. It never occurred to me for an instant that anyone would pay me to do stories about them. Hence the "Coming Never" caption in the original gag.
MILK
--What The?!#10/2 (What The?!#10/2, 14/3, 16/2
COL.
GATE
--What The?!#10/2
S'AANTA
--What The?!#10/2
images:
page 11 panel 5 (Milk)
page 10, panel 3 (Col. Gate)
page 13, panel 1 (S'aanta)
What The?!#16 (January, 1992) - Sholly Fisch (writer), Rurik Tyler (artist), Renee Witterstaetter (editor)
What The?!#20 (August, 1992) - Renee Witterstaetter
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