of Earth-928 circa 2099 A.D.
Real Name: Ulysses Renaldo Colosio
Identity/Class: Extratemporal (late 21st century) alternate Earth (Reality-928)
Occupation: Server, brewer, manager, and/or owner of Cup of Jonah;
personal assistant to Broken Haiku
Group Membership: Staff of Cup of Jonah (if there are others beyond him)
Affiliations: Shakti Haddad (aka Cerebra), Broken Haiku;
reluctantly aided Xi'an Chi Xan
Enemies: Foolkiller (Gideon), la Lunatica, Xi'an Chi Xan
Known Relatives: None
Aliases: "Fool" (from Foolkiller)
Base of Operations: Unrevealed;
formerly a room within the Cup of Jonah store within El Mercado Grande, in El Paso, Texas;
formerly the back room of a roadhouse 10 miles east of Elephant Butte, New Mexico;
First Appearance: X-Men 2099#11 (August, 1994)
Powers/Abilities: Ulysses had no known superhuman powers.
He carried a large handblaster, with which he was presumably proficient. Xi'an Chi Xan destroyed one such blaster, but he presumably had others.
Although short, he was very stocky and possibly quite muscular. Though willing to take on even superhuman beings, he did not have the opportunity to demonstrate martial skills. Xi'an Chi Xan was able to tkick the weapon out of his hand before he could fire it.
He was considered a master brewer of coffee. He may or may not have been a skilled sushi chef (or he may have employed others for this role).
Ulysses presumably ministered to Broken Haiku's systems, as she maintained an immobile form covered with neuro-circuitry and surrounded by extensive computer networks. He delivered cybersim shades to allow others to meet with Haiku in Cyberspace, and he aslo had plug-ins for those with neural jacks.
Height: Unrevealed (approximately 3'10" to 4')
Weight: Unrevealed (he was very stocky; approximately 200 lbs.)
(X-Men 2099#11 (fb) - BTS) - Based out of the back room of a roadhouse 10 miles east of Elephant Butte, New Mexico, Broken Haiku had her entire body covered in neurocircuitry to allow her to more readily access the internet.
(X-Men 2099#11 (fb) - BTS) - Broken Haiku relocated to the back room of the Cup of Jonah, within the El Mercado Grande building, El Paso, Texas.
Others were kept away from approaching Haiku's physical form by her ally Ulysses Colosio.
Haiku sometimes patched into the security feed to watch the counter at the java bar.
(X-Men 2099#10 - BTS) - Xi'an Chi Xan, former teammate to Broken Haiku in the Lawless, sought out Broken Haiku to help him with discs given to him by Mama Hurricane, which he hoped to use to locate the legendary Driver to find the mutants he had helped escape the Purge.
2099#11) - After Xi'an used his powers to gain access to the
roadhouse's back rooms, Ulysses aimed a weapon at him, calling him "Squid" and noting that the
back room was off limits to customers.
Xi'an kicked the weapon out of Ulysses' hands and then disintegrated it, noting that a little man with a big gun was a tired cliche. After Ulysses recognized Xi'an from stories he had heard, Haiku told Ulysses to let him pass, noting that it was so nice to see another old friend.
After escorting Xi'an to the back room, Ulysses explained that since the Domino Crash in 2097, Haiku conducted business exclusively in the internet. He then gave Xi'an a pair of glasses that would give him A/V net access, which allowed Xi'an to meet with Haiku in the internet.
(X-Men 2099#22 (fb) - BTS) - Later, seeking to locate Xi'an, his associates Shakti Haddad, la Lunatica, and Skullfire traveled to the Cup of Jonah.
(X-Men 2099#22) - After a pair of customers complimented Ulysses, noting his drink to be a "most savory blend" and him to be a "master brewsmith, Ulysses noted that this was high praise coming from a pair of java junkies like them.
Shakti then asked Ulysses to speak to the owner of the establishment, but Ulysses told her that Haiku didn't do walk-ins. When Lunatica insisted, Ulysses, called her "Snow White" and told her if she wanted to rumble to bring it on, as he wasn't afraid of her. Shakti calmed the situation, telling Ulysses that she understood his caution but that there was no need for violence. She then asked him to inform Haiku that Shakti Haddad was there to discuss Xi'an Chi Xan.
Surprised to hear from Shakti, Haiku instructed Ulysses to invite her back. After Ulysses told Shakti that she must have said the magic words as she was invited back (although her friends had to wait outside). Shakti was surprised that Haiku had been monitoring them the whole time. Ulysses told her sometimes patched into the security feed to watch the counter at the java bar; while she may not have spoken to the customers, she knew who they were.
After bringing Shakti to Haiku's neurocircuitry-covered form and some brief greeting and interaction, Ulyssess then explained that Haiku suggested any further discussion take place in the net, and he offered her cybersim shades; having had a neural jack implanted in Hong Kong, Shakti declined the shades and asked Ulysses to plug her in.
(X-Men 2099#22 (fb) - BTS) - Ulysses plugged Shakti in.
(X-Men 2099#22 - BTS) - Shakti met with Haiku in cyberspace.(X-Men 2099#32 (fb) - BTS) - Foolkiller assaulted the Cup of Jonah, destroying Broken Haiku's datadrop (and apparently disintegrated her physical form, leaving behind a pile of ashes), slaying Ulysses and writing "FOOL" on his head with his laser, and leaving Broken Haiku offline for the first time in years.
Comments: Created by John Francis Moore, Ron Lim, and Mark McKenna.
Profile by Snood.
Ulysses Colosio should be distinguished from:
| A combination coffeehouse / sushi bar within the El Mercado Grande building, El Paso, Texas.
It served as the literal front to Broken Haiku's base of operations, and it was run by Ulysses Colosio.
The back room was off limits to customers, and entry was only permitted after approval by Haiku herself.
(X-Men 2099#11) - Xi'an Chi Xan entered the Cup of Jonah, seeking Haiku, and he broke into its back room, where he was confronted by Ulysses; Haiku ultimately granted Xi'an permission to approach her.
(X-Men 2099#22) - Seeking information from Haiku on the Theatre of Pain, Shakti Haddad traveled to the Cup of Jonah along with la Lunatica and Skullfire.
Haiku allowed Ulysses to bring Shakti to see her, but Lunatica and Skullfire had to remain out front.
(X-Men 2099#32 (fb) - BTS) - Foolkiller assaulted the Cup of Jonah, destroying Broken Haiku's datadrop (and apparently disintegrated her physical form, leaving behind a pile of ashes), slaying Ulysses and writing "FOOL" on his head with his laser, and leaving Broken Haiku offline for the first time in years.
--X-Men 2099#11 (22, 32 (fb) - BTS
Note: In case you didn't get it, the name Cup of Jonah is a play on a cup of joe (referring to coffee) and the biblical Jonah and the whale.
You can look up why coffee if called Joe, but sources reference it being (1) in response to Secretary of Navy Josephus Daniels banning alcohol consumption on Navy ships during World War I (which doesn't seem to fit with the timeline of the name first seeing print); (2) a shortened form of Jamoke, a nickname for coffee that is a portmanteau of coffee and mocha; (3) in reference to it being the drink of the common man, or average Joe.
X-Men 2099#11 (August, 1994) - John Francis Moore (writer), Ron Lim (penciler), Mark McKenna (inkers), Lia Pelosi (assistant editor), Joey Cavalieri (editor)
X-Men 2099#22 (July, 1995) - John Francis Moore (writer), Ron Lim (penciler), Harry Candelario (inkers), Lia Pelosi (assistant editor), Joey Cavalieri (editor)
X-Men 2099#32 (May, 1996) - John Francis Moore (writer), Jan Duursema (penciler), Scott Koblish (inker), Jaye Gardner (editor)
First posted: 11/14/2021
Last updated: 11/14/2021
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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