BACONIANs race

Classification: Semi-porcine-humanoid extraterrestrial race, alien world natives, or alternate Earth natives (see comments)

Location/Base of Operations: Baconia (planet)

Known Members: Piggo, "Pretty Boy" Pork, one unidentified copper (likely a play on the swine theme)

Affiliations: Chester Weems (they felt sorry for him and let him go)

Enemies: Dr. Frankenpayne

First Appearance: Crazy Magazine#60 (March, 1980)

Powers/Abilities: Baconians appear to be largely porcine-humanoid, with the exception of their eyes (see below). They had porcine snouts with sharp lower canines (tusks), but had a bipedal conformation with more humanoid hands and feet (as opposed to porcine hooves), and they had curly porcine tails.

    Both criminals and cops carried energy blasters, and victims were described as being sizzled (Pretty Boy was incapacitated after being struck by a single blast, while a dazed/sedated Chester Weems took several direct hits that just made him feel funny.

    The final panel, in which the coppers are taking Pork and Frankenpayne back through the portal to Baconia makes it look like they are flying. Whether this is a property of the portal or an ability (innate or technologically granted) of Baconians, or at least their police is unrevealed.

Traits: The Baconians seemed to mirror stereotypical 1930s/prohibition era gangsters, with the criminal sporting a pinstripe suit and a fedora, plus some sort of familiar shoe I can't identify (wing tip?). They also have a police force, which Pork refers to as "coppers." They are prone to some degree of paranoia and illogical decisions, as when they decided Frankenpayne and Pork must be in cahoots because they wore the same kind of shoes ("criminal shoes"). There is prison system, which Pork referred to as the "Pig Pen."

 

 

 

Type:  Bilaterally symmetric semi-humanoid-porcine bipeds
Eyes
: Two, on snail-like stalks extending from the top of their heads; these stalks extended through the hats of all three Baconians seen to date. We don't see any with their hats, but one of the coppers has a slit or fold of some sort around where the eye would be expected to be. It was a black and white story, so color cannot be determined
Fingers
: Three (plus opposing thumb)
Toes
: Unrevealed (but one would speculate there to be 4 toes given the appearance of their hands.
Skin color: Unrevealed (the comic was black and white, but they had a decidedly darker pigment than did Chester Weems or Dr. Frankenpayne...maybe they are gray, or brown, or red?)
Average height: Unrevealed (they seemed shorter than Frankenpayne, who towered over the pipsqueak Weems)

 

 

 

 

 

History:
(
Crazy Magazine#60) - When Dr. Frankenpayne tried out his Gamma Ray Cavity Decoder invention on Chester Weems, the energies released tore asunder the very fabric of time and space and opened an interdimensional vortex/portal to the planet Baconia. Through the portal rushed the criminal "Pretty Boy" Pork, pursued by a pair of policemen of his race.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    The police threatened "Pretty Boy" to halt or they'd sizzle him, but he retorted that they would end up as sausage links if they tried it. There was a brief shoot-out between the pig-men, and a few blasts hit Chester (who was doped up and dreaming the stimulation was caused by Farrah Fawcett), before "Pretty Boy" was sizzled by a blast from the cops.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    When the cops noticed Dr. Frankenpayne had the same kind of shoes as "Pretty Boy" (which they described as "criminal feet"), they decided the dentist must be an interplanetary accomplice, and they lugged Frankenpayne and "Pretty Boy" through the portal with them. The cop named Piggo noted that he had released Chester (the homely little animal the doctor was experimenting on), as he couldn't bear to see a dumb animal suffer. Meanwhile a dazed Chester continued to dream.

 

 

 

 

Comments: Created by Michael Pellowski, Marie Severin & John Tartaglione.

    We don't know for CERTAIN whether Teen Hulk is Earth-616 or not. We know the Baconians were accessed via a portal through time and space, but that could mean anything from a warp into the recent or distant past or future in the same universe; an alien dimension; or perhaps an alternate Earth dimension; or something else altogether.

    The energy blasts from the Baconians, combined with the gamma rays from the cavity decoder, caused Chester Weems to mutate into Teen Hulk.

    Spider-Ham and/or Swiney Girl should totally travel to Baconia.

    "Book 'em, Piggo." is presumably a play on "Book 'em, Danno." from Hawaii-5-0.

Profile by Snood.

CLARIFICATIONS:
The Baconians have no known connections to


images: (without ads)
Crazy Magazine#60, Teen Hulk story pg. 3 (pg. 45 of the magazine, including cover, etc. and going by page number; ), panel 6 - Pretty Boy Pork pulled into Dr. Frankenpayne's office;
       
Teen Hulk story pg. 4 - panel 1 - Pork fleeing coppers;
            panel 2 & 3 - shootout (from distance and close-up;
            panel 5 - coppers checking out Frankenpayne's shoes;
            panel 6 - coppers taking Frankenpayn and Pork to Baconia


Appearances:
Crazy Magazine#60 (March, 1980) - Michael Pellowski (script), Marie Severin (penciler), John Tartaglione (inker), Jim Owsley (editor)


Last updated: 08/03/13

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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