Real Name: Windsor Glastonbury
Identity/Class: Normal human technology/magic user
Affiliations: Big Wheel, Demolition Derby, Elektro, Fly, Home Wrecker, Hotshot, Human Computer, Hypno-Hustler, June Jitsui, Larcenous Lil, Legal Eagle, Photoman, Printout Man, Simon the Evil Swami
Enemies: Spider-Man, two unnamed children, an unnamed police officer
Known Relatives: None
Base of Operations: S-Wing, unnamed prison in New York state, USA
First Appearance: "Spider-Man Vs. the Chairman" (Hostess Twinkies advertisement, 1977)
Powers/Abilities: The Chairman carried a gun-like weapon which could transform human beings into straight-backed chairs; the effect eventually wore off. He was later caught in the same effect and left as a chair, but was still able to speak.
Nothing is known about the Chairman or how he developed his chair-gun.
(Hostess ad) - The Chairman set out to steal an antique chair shipment but evidently didn't know where to find it. He used his chair-gun against a police officer who had presumably proven uncooperative, transforming the officer and some bystanders into chairs, then cornered Spider-Man, demanding to know where the shipment was. Spider-Man refused to tell him, and the Chairman prepared to fire upon Spider-Man, but two children, who had encountered the policeman earlier, threw Hostess Twinkies at the Chairman's gun, causing it to misfire and transform the Chairman himself into a chair. Spider-Man returned the Twinkies to the children, who offered some to an appreciative Chairman, who was literally carried off by the restored police officer; Spider-Man guessed that the Chairman would receive at least a ten-year prison sentence for his crimes.
(Fin Fang Four Return!#1/5 (fb) - BTS) - Despite being unable to return to his human form, he could still speak and was imprisoned somewhere in NY state.
(Fin Fang Four Return!#1/5) - The robot Elektro, mistakenly identified as a villain and arrested, was ushered into the prison's S-Wing where he met various past Spider-Man villains, and almost sat on the Chairman, who was still stuck as a chair. Later, inspired by Elektro's defiance, the other inmates of S-Wing smashed their way out with Simon the Swami carrying the Chairman, but they were all subdued by the prison guards using sedation foam.
Comments: Created by unidentified writer and artist.
It's unclear whether the Chairman's weapon was based on science or magic; he was dressed much like a stage magician, but that's inconclusive. The Chairman obviously has been taking fashion tips from Oswald C. Cobblepot.
Of all the Hostess villains, only Icemaster has shown up in an Earth-616 title. He could have crossed over to Earth-616 from "Earth-Hostess," but I say leave them on Earth-616 until proven otherwise. Nonetheless, until they do show up in regular continuity, they remain outside regular canon. Surely someone will write a story teaming them all together.---Snood.
And now they've been found! ... in a dark corner of an ignored prison...
Could the Chairman perhaps have some connection with Adam Able or the Chair that Walks Like a Man? Forget all that "Cockroach Conspiracy" stuff! That's probably all just a distraction to take everyone's attention off of the real threat...Beware of the unholy alliance of -- "The Fraudulent Furniture Federation"!! --John Kaminski
Boy, Spider-man really came out looking bad in this one--he actually had to be saved by a couple of ordinary kids, and worse yet, he had to be saved from a lame-o loser like the Chairman! And the transformed Chairman was carried off to serve a ten-year prison sentence...for his sake, I sure hope his cell-mate wasn't the Blob! --John Kaminski
You can get the whole Hostess story, and some clever commentary from Seanbaby's The Hostess Page. It might not meet with the Comics Code Authority's approval, so kids, ask your parents before checking that out!
Perhaps the awesome mind-altering powers of Twinkies has been neutralized to prevent its will-sapping power falling into the wrong hands...---Grendel Prime
Chairman's real name was revealed in Elektro's profile in OHotMU A-Z Update 2010#2.
Including info from both Ronald Byrd and John Kaminski.
The Chairman should not be confused with:
Spider-Man vs the Chairman, pan1 (Chairman main image)
Spider-Man vs the Chairman, pan3 (Chairman threatens Spider-Man)
Fin Fang Four Return!#1/5, p3, pan5 (Chairman the chair)
Hostess Ad: "Spider-Man Vs. the Chairman" (1977)
Fin Fang Four Return!#1/5 (July, 2009) - Scott Gray (writer), Roger Langridge (artist), John Barber (editor)
First Posted: 04/13/2005
Last updated: 05/09/2009
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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