History:
BRAINS
Real Name: Joseph Alstadt
Identity/Class: Human (1930s Era to Post-World War II Era)
Occupation: Criminal mastermind
Group Membership: None
Affiliations: Barney, Blitz, Soup Gannon, Gimp Riccio, Gunner Sampson
Enemies: Carlisle, Karl Kruger
Known Relatives: Mr. Alstadt (father)
Aliases: None
Base of Operations: Chicago, Illinois, USA
First Appearance: Crime Can't Win I#5 (June, 1951)
Powers/Abilities: Brains was skilled at planning heists and leading other criminals. He carried a gun during a heist. He had a good rapport with dogs, particularly German Shepherds.
Height: Unrevealed (approximately 5'10")
Weight: Unrevealed (approximately 165 lbs.)
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Gray (balding)
History:
(Crime Can't Win I#5 (fb) - BTS) - Joseph Alstadt - dubbed "Brains" in the criminal underworld - was a criminal mastermind. After being captured by the police, he was sent to prison for 5 years. As Brains was an avid dog lover, he enjoyed spending time with Warden Carlisle's German Shepherd, Blitz. Joseph's father had raised German Shepherds in "the old country." (likely Germany)
(Crime Can't Win I#5) - Brains was released in October, 1934 and said farewell to Warden Carlisle and Blitz. Soon, Brains was contacted by the criminal Gimp Riccio, who was working for political boss and bank director Karl Kruger. Brains met with Kruger and Riccio and took a moment to admire a portrait of a German Shepherd whom Kruger had purchased. Kruger explained he wanted Brains to perform a heist on his bank, the Exchange Trust Co. Kruger knew there was $1 million in the vaults. Brains pointed out at least half of the money would have its serial numbers recorded, but Kruger intended to find out which were recorded and keep that half for himself, leaving the other half-million for Brains and whomever he hired. Brains asked for blueprints of the bank and understood only he and Riccio would know of Kruger involvement in the heist. He had Riccio send men to observe the time schedule at the bank.
Riccio's men reported on the habits of the bank's guards while Brains examined the blueprints. He determined the air conditioning system in the bank was connected to the cellar of an art school next door. Brains had Riccio hire him a safecracker, a driver, a lookout man and a gunman. Riccio insisted on being the driver, but hired Barney as lookout, Soup Gannon as safecracker and Gunner Sampson as gunman. Brains explained his plan to break into the bank through the air conditioning system during a brief window where two of the guards would be out eating. As the art school was having a costume ball on October 24th, Brains had Riccio buy tickets for them and clown costumes for himself, Barney, Gannon and Gunner.
On the night of October 24th, Riccio drove Brains, Barney, Gannon and Gunner to the art school. As they pulled up, Brains noticed a German Shepherd and paused to appreciate the animal. Brains and his allies mingled with the guests, then stole into the basement. Barney switched off the building's heat, just as Brains noted in 4 minutes two of the guards would be leaving for food. Brains, Gannon and Gunner crawled into the air vents, leaving Barney to watch in case someone came.
Once two of the guards left, Brains, Gannon and Gunner burst through the air vent; Gunner quickly killed the two remaining guards while Gannon set to work with nitroglycerine to blow open the vault. The vault blew open but set off an alarm inside the vault. They quickly loaded up the $1 million then fled back through the art school. By the time they reached Riccio in the car, the other guards had returned and they could hear police sirens approaching. Riccio drove them away under a hail of gunfire, in which Barney and Gannon were shot and killed. Brains ordered Gunner to remove their clown costumes and dump them.
Riccio dropped off Brains and Gunner at Kruger's house and Brains ordered Riccio to dump the car. Brains introduced Kruger to Gunner and explained what had happened. Suddenly, Kruger drew a gun, intending to double-cross Brains and keep all of the money for himself. Gunner used his own gun and shot Kruger, killing him, but Gunner was likewise hit by Kruger's bullet. Unable to keep going, Gunner insisted Brains leave behind as he died.
Brains stole Kruger's car and drove away with the money but instead of fleeing Chicago, he happened to pass the Middle West Kennel Club's Annual All-Breed Show. Unable to resist the lure of seeing fine dogs, Brains parked the car and went in to see the show. He wasn't at the show for very long when the police suddenly surrounded him. Brains promised he wouldn't "kick up a fuss" but wondered how they found him so quickly. The police replied they'd caught Gimp Riccio and before he died he revealed Kruger's involvement in the heist; when they found Kruger dead and his car missing, they simply looked for the car. Brains asked whether Warden Carlisle still had his dog Blitz. The lead detective replied he did, and Brains believed prison wouldn't be that bad. Brains was sentenced to life in prison. He continued to enjoy time with Blitz, until Blitz died in 1945. By 1951, Brains was still in prison, mourning Blitz's death.
Comments: Created by an unidentified writer and Marion Sitton.
Profile by Prime Eternal.
CLARIFICATIONS:
Brains should not be confused with:
Barney was recruited by Gimp Riccio to serve as Brains' lookout men during the heist of the Exchange Trust Co. Bank. Barney dressed as a clown for the heist and while Brains, Gunner Sampson and Soup Gannon went through the art school's air conditioning system to enter the bank, Barney remained in the art school's cellar to watch out. Once the money was retrieved Barney fled with the others but in a hail of gunfire from the police, Barney was shot and died. Gunner removed his clown costume and dumped his body.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Blitz was a German Shepherd owned by Warden Carlisle. Carlisle kept Blitz with him at the prison and Brains became good friends with Blitz as he admired that breed of dogs. When Brains was sentenced to life in prison he enjoyed spending time with Blitz up until Blitz's death in 1945. By 1951, Brains was still mourning Blitz's death.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Carlisle was a prison warden in Illinois. Carlisle owned the German Shepherd Blitz and kept him at the prison, where Blitz became friends with Brains. When Brains was released from prison in October, 1934, Carlisle noted Blitz would miss him. Eventually Brains was arrested again and sentenced to life in prison, but he was happy to find Carlisle still had Blitz there.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Soup Gannon was a safecracker whom Gimp Riccio hired to assist Brains in the Exchange Trust Co. Bank heist. During the heist, Soup dressed as a clown so he could sneak through the art school's costume ball and enter their air conditioning system to break into the bank. Once Gunner Sampson had killed the guards, Soup used his drill and nitroglycerine to blow open the vault. The opened vault set off an alarm that was separate from the bank's main alarm; Soup hadn't counted on the vault's alarm and had to speed up their exit from the bank. They fled the bank with $1 million but during a hail of police gunfire on their car, Soup was hit and died; Gunner dumped his body.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Karl Kruger was director on the board of the Exchange Trust Co. Bank and a political boss in Chicago. When his broker warned him in October, 1934 his stocks were dropping and he needed more capital, he decided to turn to crime and used his criminal friend Gimp Riccio to hire Brains to rob the Exchange Trust Co. Bank. Kruger claimed he would take half of the $1 million Brains was to heist. However, when Brains and Gunner Sampson returned to him with the money, Kruger drew a gun and tried to kill them both so he could keep all the money. Gunner and Kruger shot each other; Kruger died immediately and Gunner followed minutes later.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Gimp Riccio was a small-time criminal who had been helped by Karl Kruger in the past, shielding him from the police. As Riccio was Kruger's only criminal contact, he used him to recruit Brains to rob the Exchange Trust Co. Bank. Brains used Riccio to do most of the legwork in setting up the heist, having him send men to monitor the schedules of the guards at the bank and to confirm his suspicions that the art school next to the bank connected to its air conditioning system. Riccio hired Barney, Soup Gannon and Gunner Sampson for the heist while he served as the getaway driver. After the successful robbery, Barney and Gannon were killed. Gunner dumped them from Riccio's car, then Riccio brought Brains and Gunner to Kruger's house, while he went to dump the getaway car. However, Gimp ran into the police and was fatally wounded by them; before dying, he revealed Kruger had been behind the heist.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
Gunner Sampson was originally from Colorado. He developed some kind of medical issue in his lungs and was eager to earn enough money that he could return home. Gimp Riccio hired Gunner to assist Brains in the heist of the Exchange Trust Co. Bank. Dressed as a clown, Gunner snuck through the art school's costume ball and entered the air conditioning system, which led into the bank. Once two of the guards left for food, Gunner burst through the vent and killed the two remaining guards. He helped Soup Gannon and Brains carry away the money but the police arrived during their escape and Barney and Soup were shot and died in their getaway car. Gunner dumped their bodies, then Riccio brought Gunner and Brains to Kruger's house. Brains explained to Gunner how Kruger had arranged their heist, but when they offered Kruger his half, Kruger drew a gun, intending to kill them both. Gunner drew his own gun and shot Kruger as Kruger shot him; Kruger died but Gunner quickly realized he was too badly injured to continue; he told Brains to abandon him as he died from his injury.
--Crime Can't Win I#5
images: (without ads)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 1, panel 2 (main)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 7, panel 4 (face)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 3, panel 2 (Barney)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 1, panel 2 (Blitz)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 1, panel 2 (Carlisle)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 3, panel 2 (Gannon)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 1, panel 3 (Kruger)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 2, panel 4 (Riccio)
Crime Can't Win I#5, page 1, panel 1 (Sampson)
Appearances:
Crime Can't Win I#5 (June, 1951) - unidentified writer, Marion Sitton (artist), Stan Lee (editor)
First posted: 07/15/2026
Last updated:
07/15/2026
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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