S.P.A.F.O.N.
(Superfluous Powers Anonymous Friendship Opportunity Network)

main image

Membership: Birdwatcher, Go-Getter, Larry "Weightwatcher" Lebenstein, Press-On, William Sklar, numerous others

Purpose: Provide support to people with trivial or useless powers

Affiliations: None

Enemies: None

Base of Operations: Over 30 chapters across the USA

First Appearance: Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4 (1992)

History:

(Marvel Year-In-Review '92 (fb) - BTS) - S.P.A.F.O.N. (Superfluous Powers Anonymous Friendship Opportunity Network) was established as a support group to help people cope with trivial or useless powers in a world of high expectations from people with super-powers. S.P.A.F.O.N. grew to over 30 chapters across the USA, mostly in the greater New York City area, becoming the largest such support group in the country. It welcomed all, including mutants and mutates. S.P.A.F.O.N. developed a 12-step program to help such people cope and gain personal legitimacy, that they didn't have to justify their powers or feel compelled to save the world. Larry Lebenstein became head of the Manhattan chapter.

(Marvel Year-In-Review '92) - Bob Washington interviewed Lebenstein and several members, and covered S.P.A.F.O.N.'s activities for an article.

Comments: Created by uncredited writer, uncredited artist.

Maybe Arcade got to them and nobody noticed...

There were only two illustrations in the "article".

I'm not sure just how in-continuity this parody/satire mag is supposed to be - the editorial describes it as "a news magazine set in the Marvel Universe"...

Profile by Grendel Prime.

CLARIFICATIONS:
S.P.A.F.O.N. has no known connections to:


Birdwatcher

Birdwatcher headed the Los Angeles chapter of S.P.A.F.O.N. His unique power was being able to sense, no matter his own location, exactly when swallows returned to Capistrano (California). He was in demand only once a year from talk shows and Weather Channel appearances.

--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4


Go-Getter

Through unrevealed means, Go-Getter developed the mental ability to manipulate traffic lights. He supported his college studies with part-time taxi driving, but denied any commercial use of his powers, acknowledging it would be a crime. Nevertheless, reporter Bob Washington claimed he had the fastest cross-town ride with him as driver.

 

 

 

 

--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4


Larry "Weightwatcher" Lebenstein

Larry Lebenstein has the mutant ability to accurately count the calories of any foodstuff upon contact; this earned him the nickname Weightwatcher. He initially helped dieters and food research labs, even the F.D.A. (US Food & Drug Administration). Constant use of his powers led him to be able to accurately measure fats and carbohydrates too. Lebenstein became head of the Manhattan chapter of S.P.A.F.O.N. He later gave an interview and provided access to S.P.A.F.O.N. for Bob Washington's article.

--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4


Press-On

The blond woman who would become Press-On was having her fingernails done one day when radioactive material spilled onto her. Passing out, she recovered in hospital, but found only her nails had become extremely sharp, strong and fast growing, able to cut through virtually anything like glass and steel - except that her fingers and cuticles would become swollen and bruised. Only a particle accelerator beam could cut the nails, but that became too expensive. Her career as a hand model over, she sometimes worked as a stunt double for a horror movie character or as a figure model for Lady Deathstrike. Feeling humiliated and rejected, she still spoke at S.P.A.F.O.N. gatherings, garnering applause in her caped costume.

 

--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4


William Sklar

Aged 14, William Sklar whimsically decided to bathe in his father nanochemical formula for tensile-strength extending properties at the atomic level. This gave the youth the ability to inflate his limbs into a spheroid shape, almost blimp-like, making him fairly impervious to harm, but susceptible to breezes. He named himself the Astonishing Puffball and applied with a resume to various teams, lying about being a mutant to X-teams. These were all unsuccessful. His one solo adventure led him to being easily rebuffed by the Beetle and an embarrassing headline from the Daily Bugle newspaper. He became desperate to use his powers, sharking carnival weight games for cheap prizes, before realizing he'd hit rock bottom. Then he found help at S.P.A.F.O.N.

--Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4


images: (without ads)
Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4, p13 (main image)
   p14 (Go-Getter)
   p13 (Press-On)


Appearances:
Marvel Year-In-Review '92 I#4 (1992) - uncredited writer, uncredited artist, Tom Brevoort (comedy consultant), Evan Skolnick (editor)


First posted: 08/19/2019
Last updated: 08/19/2019.

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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