MARY WHITEWASH

Real Name: Mary Whitewash

Identity/Class Extradimensional/alternate reality (Earth-333333333) human

Occupation: Comic book editor

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: None

Enemies: Nice Avengers (Beast/Hank McCoy, Captain America/Steve Rogers, Iron Man/Tony Stark, Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff, Thor Odinson, Vision), Ultron

Known Relatives: Unidentified husband

Aliases: None

Base of Operations: Earth 331/3

First Appearance: Marvel Madhouse #8 (January 1982)

Powers/Abilities: A giant censorious being, Mary Whitewash can paint people out of existence. 

Height: 48' (by approximation)
Weight: 38.4 tons (by approximation)
Eyes: Unrevealed
Hair: Unrevealed (but a light color)

History:
(Marvel Madhouse #8 (fb) - BTS) - Mary Whitewash was a puritanical moral crusader who had written a book "Who Does She Think She Is?"

(Marvel Madhouse #8) - Mary Whitewash replaced Paul Neary as editor of the Avengers, rebranded them the "Nice" Avengers, made them hold daily hymn meetings, and generally sought to police their behavior to follow her strict moral code. When the Beast carelessly let slip his Monday night plans to hit the disco and pick up some floozies, her giant hand appeared to poke him in the chest, remind him that she ran Marvel now, and inform him that he needed to mend his beastly ways. Beast quickly feigned obeisance, claiming he meant to say he was going to have a cold shower and then spend the night reading her book. Declaring "That's better," Mary let him depart, unaware of the copy of Playbeast the lecherous mutant had hidden within the pages of the book.

    Hearing Vision and Scarlet Witch inform Captain America that they were about to depart on their second honeymoon Mary swiftly whited them out of existence, disgusted at the thought of robots and witches. When Cap expressed horror at her actions, she noted it was no less than they deserved, then noted that while she was on the subject of perversions, his and Thor's provocative skin-tight costumes needed to go. Handing them dressing gowns, she insisted they cover their nakedness. Cap protested that they were superheroes, but Mary chided him for this, telling him to add the sin of pride to the sin of vanity.

   A sudden loud banging from the wall drew an exclamation of "Who the devil's that?" from Cap, prompting Mary to warn him for his language. The wall burst in, revealing Ultron calling out "Kill Avengers," though Thor and Cap could not agree whether this was Ultron-6, 8 or 13. Cap threw his shield at the intruder, but Mary's hand caught it in mid-air and used it to whack Cap over the head, brutally informing him that she didn't go in for all this gratuitous violence and noting that the pen was mightier than the sword. This confused Thor, who only had a hammer, so Mary clarified, telling them to use their words to show Ultron the error of his ways. Following her instructions Cap chastised Ultron, pointing out that killing them was no way to win their friendship, while Thor demanded he think what his mother would say if she could see him now. Suitably shamed, Ultron apologized for being a rotter and began rebuilding the wall, while Mary patted Cap on the back, noting that she liked to see a nice ending.

Comments: Created by Tim Quinn and Dicky Howett.

    Mary Whitewash is based on real-life moral crusader Mary Whitehouse, who was a household name in Britain from the 1960s on. As founder and president of the National Viewers and Listeners Association, she led a self-appointed crusade to police and clean up movies, television and radio, regularly complaining about the content of shows. I don't recall her targeting comics, but that would only be because they flew under her radar, not because she felt they were morally okay. To say she was disliked by creators was an understatement - as early as 1971, TV shows were fighting back with vicious parodies of her.

    Mary Whitewash appeared in the one-off strip "The Nice Avengers" which originally appeared in Marvel Madhouse#8, and then was reprinted in the Channel 331/3 Special. Since the Core Continuum Designations used by the Handbooks don't allow for fractional values (or decimals for that matter), the CCD number can't be 331/3; instead it's 333333333, to echo how thirty three and a third would be written in decimals.

    None of the superhumans Mary dealt with were identified by civilian identity in his story; as such I'm ASSuming that all recognizable heroes and villains share their respective "main" universe counterparts' identities.

    Beast called her Mrs. Whitewash, so she presumably had a husband; she's certainly not the type to be married to another woman.

Profile by Loki.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Mary Whitewash has no known connections to:


images: (without ads)
Channel 331/3 Special #1, p44, pan1 (main image)
Channel 331/3 Special #1, p45, pan5-6 (whiting out Vision and Scarlet Witch)
Channel 331/3 Special #1, p45, pan8 (forcing Cap and Thor to change outfits)
Channel 331/3 Special #1, p46, pan4-5 (stopping Cap's shield)


Appearances:
Marvel Madhouse #8 (January 1982) - Tim Quinn (writer), Dicky Howett (art), editor unknown


First Posted: 08/03/2020
Last updated:
08/03/2020

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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