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COLONEL CORN

Real Name: Colonel Corn

Identity/Class: Terrestrial corn kernel mutate (fringe character)

Occupation: Would-be world conqueror

Group Membership: International Network of Creeps (I.N.C.) (Anchor-Man, Crasher, Maiden Hong Kong, Smasher, Trasher, Weird Beard the Pirate)

Affiliations: Anchor-Man, Bad Balls (Crasher, Smasher, Trasher), Cornball, Doktor Viktor Frankenbeans, Madbelle, Maiden Hong Kong, Simon Snivelitch, Miss Tic the Mystic, Weird Beard the Pirate

Enemies: Madballs (Aargh, Bash Brain/Crack Head, Bruise Brother, Dust Brain, Fistface, Freaky Fullback, Goal Eater, Horn Head/Nob Head, Lock Lips, Oculus Orbus, Screamin' Meemie, Skullface, Slobulus, Snake Bait, Splitting Headache, Swine Sucker, Wolf Breath/Baby's Breath)

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: None

Base of Operations: Mobile in USA

First Appearance: Madballs I#1 (September, 1986)

Powers/Abilities: Colonel Corn was a giant humanoid corn cob with delusions of grandeur and world domination using the power of his bad puns. He had a loyal minion, the sentient floating Cornball, likely created as he was. He also controlled corn plants that could uproot themselves, hence his base in a barn in a cornfield. While the kernels on his body would pop under high heat, he seemed able to regenerate kernels.

Height: 6'0" (by approximation, excluding husk hair)
Weight: Unrevealed
Eyes: Yellow
Hair: Corn husk yellow

History: (Madballs I#1/2 (fb) - BTS) - A corn kernel fell into the toxic waste pond at the secret laboratory of Research Unlimited in Nucleonics (R.U.I.N.), the chemicals mutating it into sentient humanoid corn cob with delusions of grandeur. Adopting the name "Colonel Corn," he developed (or allied himself with) a floating orb called Cornball (likely with the same origins) and controlled surrounding corn plants at a barn. Colonel Corn began formulating plans for world conquest using bad puns.

(Madballs I#1/2) - Eight rubber balls fell into the same toxic pond and rose again to become the ugly but generally good Madballs (Aargh, Crack Head (later Bash Brain), Dust Brain, Horn Head, Oculus Orbus, Screamin' Meemie, Skullface, Slobulus), quickly becoming friends with neighborhood children. When the children playfully hid in a cornfield, only to be captured by corn plants and taken to their leader, Colonel Corn, the Madballs soon found them and burst in, but were knocked down by Colonel Corn's disorienting bad puns; however, Colonel Corn still had to unleash his minion Cornball to claim victory and stuck the Madballs to flypaper to hold them. Madball Screamin' Meemie became so angry that it generated incredible heat, causing Cornball to explode into popcorn. Colonel Corn quickly followed next; his body's kernels popped away and flooded the barn, leaving the exhausted Colonel Corn an empty cob. The children watched a movie and happily ate the popcorn while the Madballs taunted their disheveled foe.

(Madballs I#9) - Doktor Frankenbeans allied with Miss Tic the Mystic to magically bring together the Madballs' greatest foes: Anchor-Man, Colonel Corn, Maiden Hong Kong, Weird Beard the Pirate and the Bad Balls, forming the International Network of Creeps (I.N.C.). They held the world hostage by causing chaos unless the world paid them $27 quillion. The Madballs split into five groups to tackle the internationally spread threats; in Iowa, Colonel Corn had turned the entire state into a cornfield. Four Madballs (Goal Eater, Oculus Orbus, Screamin' Meemie, Snake Bait) confronted him. They drowned out his punishing puns and dragged him to WBLA television studios where the microwaves from the broadcast dish caused his kernels to pop. He escaped back to Doktor Frankenbeans' base, alongside the other failed villains. There, the scoundrels were forced into the toxic pond that had given rise to the Madballs while the Madballs mocked them all.

Comments: Created by Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard Post (pencils) and Roberta Edelman (inks).

I suspect Colonel Corn was a mutated corn cob and husk, while Cornball is a mutated kernel, given the Madballs are mutated rubber balls.

His "bad pun" power may instead be a voice that disorients and sickens the listener.

Madballs are a bunch of 19 floating sentient, ugly-looking balls formed mostly by exposure to a unique toxic pond that began as AmToy toys in 1985 and initially spawned Marvel comics, a cartoon, video game, stationery and a novel by R.L. Stine (yep, him). The concept has since been revived.

Back around 2000, after the initial Madballs craze, Nabisco launched a new ad campaign for its CornNuts snacks with the tagline "Corn gone wrong;" these ads appeared in comics as well (see right). It reminds me of the sentient corn plants that grabbed the children (see left) - perhaps without their leader, the uprooted plants left their field and roamed the streets, selling their kernels mixed with hardcore spices and getting into trouble until they hit a licensing deal.

 Not sure if the Madballs are Earth-616, but nothing quite ruling them out.

 

 
 

Profile by Grendel Prime.

CLARIFICATIONS :
Colonel Corn has no known connections to:


Cornball

Cornball was Colonel Corn's loyal minion and was sized like the Madballs with the same characteristics of levitation and cranky attitude with attempts at crude humor, so it likely had similar origin via the toxic chemical pool near the R.U.I.N. lab. It appeared to be composed solely of corn kernels. Colonel Corn kept Cornball hidden in his barn as his secret weapon.

When Colonel Corn was overwhelmed by the eight Madballs, he unleashed Cornball, which saved him, but the trapped Madball Screamin' Meemie generated such heat in its anger that Cornball exploded into popcorn.


 

--Madballs I#1/2


images: (without ads)
Madballs I#1/2, p5, pan5 (main image)
Madballs I#1/2, p10, pan8 (headshot)
Madballs I#9, p10, pan6 (becoming popcorn)
Madballs I#1/2, p2, pan4 (plant minions)
Madballs I#1/2, p8, pan6 (Cornball)


Appearances:
Madballs I#1/2 (September, 1986) - Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard Post (pencils), Roberta Edelman (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)
Madballs I#9 (April, 1988) Michael Gallagher (writer), Howard Post (pencils), Roberta Edelman (inks), Sid Jacobson (editor)


First posted: 08/03/2020
Last updated: 08/03/2020

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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