PAULA THE COMIC
Real Name: Paula, last name unrevealed
Identity/Class: Human; former human mutant
Occupation: Stand-up comedian
Group Membership: None
Affiliations: Siryn (Theresa Cassidy)
Enemies: None (though her audience didn't love her)
Known Relatives: None
Base of Operations: Unrevealed;
formerly the Punch Line comedy club, New York City, New York
First Appearance: X-Factor III#31 (July, 2008)
Powers/Abilities: Before she was depowered during M-Day, Paula possessed the mutant ability to sonically stimulate people's pleasure centers. Her voice was able to illicit riotous laughter from a crowd, no matter what she said. She found work as a stand up comedian, her act relying heavily on relatively cheap, easy humor that often failed to connect with her audience. Without her mutant ability she found she wasn't half as funny as she thought she was. Desperately in need of laughs, she kept going on stage despite the fact she often bombed and was regularly heckled.
Height: 5'8" (by approximation)
Weight: 180 lbs. (by approximation)
(X-Factor III#31 (fb) - BTS) - Paula was a mutant stand-up comedian who regularly worked gigs in the Manhattan comedy scene. Because of her mutant ability she could make people laugh no matter what she said.
(House of M I#8 - BTS) - Paula was one of the victims of the Scarlet Witch's reality altering spell that reduced the millions of gene active mutants to less than 200 worldwide.
(X-Factor III#31 (fb) - BTS) - After losing her powers, Paula still decided to continue as a stand-up comedian. She soon realized that she now had to work twice as hard for half the laughs. Though she was often heckled and despised by her audiences for her weak material and delivery, she ploughed on. Along the way, she decided to change her act to protect her ego. She opted to deliver as many lame jokes as possible instead of doing actual, well thought-out material. The fans still despised her, but at least the rejection didn't hurt quite as much.
(X-Factor III#31 - BTS) - Despite the fact X-Factor was fighting Arcade and Taylor in the nearby Mutant Town, Paula went on stage to do a set at the Punch Line comedy club in New York City.
(X-Factor III#31) - While the battle raged outside, Paula did her act trying to entertain her audience though failing miserably. After a joke about the man who went to the doctor to hear he had Alzheimer's and cancer only to minutes later be relieved he only suffered from dementia was received with dead silence, she began to panic slightly. She even tried to explain the obvious, alleged humor in the joke only for audience members to start heckling her. When she tried to turn the mood around by making a self-deprecating remark, they really turned on her. This led Paula to plead with her audience to please have a heart.
(X-Factor III#31 - BTS) - At one point, X-Factor's fight against their enemies caused the Punch Line to be damaged. One of the club's lighting rigs came down, crushing Paula on stage.
(X-Factor III#31) - While the club slowly caught on fire around her, Paula begged the departing crowd to please help her. Instead, the last remaining patron told her she stunk before running off. Though desperate, Paula continued to make jokes, delivering pat lines like "I'll be here all week" and "be sure to tip your waitresses". She would have died if not for Siryn (Theresa Cassidy) who came into the Punch Line to check if there were any victims. She dragged the rig off of Paula who relentlessly kept cracking wise, even though she could no longer feel her legs. Paula riffed on Siryn's Irish brogue, making bar jokes even though Theresa, as a recovering alcoholic, had heard them all. Siryn planned to lift Paula up and fly her out of the comedy club that by now had become a tinderbox. Theresa told Paula to shut up and then used her sonic scream to get them out quick. However, the accumulated smoke in the air caused Cassidy to cough and crash on the streets right outside the burning club. Even though she could no longer feel her legs and in spite of Siryn calling her a lousy comedian, Paula kept on telling lame jokes, even wondering if her being paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair might be a new hook for her as a stand-up. Paula then explained she used to be a mutant able to make anyone around her laugh. In the end, Siryn assured her it might be for the best if she stopped trying altogether. She then left the paraplegic jokester to her own devices.
Comments: Created by Peter David (writer), Pablo
Raimondi (pencils & inks)
X-Factor III#31 only established Paula's first name, but in the tradition of Bernard the Poet I decided to add her profession to at least approach the idea of a full name.
Guess Peter David really didn't care too much for the comedy stylings of real life comedian Lisa Lampanelli. It's obvious the self-styled "loveable queen of mean" served as a template for Paula's appearance. For my money, Ms. Lampanelli's insult comedian shtick was funny up to a point. It's one thing to be the female Don Rickles, but her endless and relentless routines on the cliches of race, ethnicity and sexuality got tiresome after a while. Still, to be fair, some of her oneliners stuck with me over the years.
You'd be amazed how often "Clap, you thievin', freakin' putas!" comes in handy in day to day life.
Profile by Norvo.
Paula the Comic should not be confused with
images: (without ads)
X-Factor III#31, p5, pans2-4 (main image)
X-Factor III#31, p5, pan6 (heckling the audience)
X-Factor III#31, p19, pans3-4 (revealed as depowered mutant)
X-Factor III#31 (July, 2008) - Peter David (writer), Pablo Raimondi (pencils & inks), Aubrey Sitterson (inks)
Last updated: 03/28/16
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
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