Enemies: Secret Artist;
   (tends to annoy) Marvel UK bullpen boss

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: Vader the Raider, Obi-Wan CYRIL

Base of Operations: Marvel U.K. Offices, 23 Redan Place, London W2

First Appearance: (mentioned) Star Wars Weekly#41 (15th November 1979);
   (seen) Return of the Jedi#61 (15th August 1984)
   (strip) Return of the Jedi#73 (10th November 1984)

Powers/Abilities: CYRIL is excellent at making tea and coffee. His arms are telescopic, able to extend to around three times their normal length. His left ear contains an electric pencil sharpener. He owns a genuine lightsaber (not a toy one), and while far from proficient with it, he is capable of swinging it around without accidentally maiming himself or others. He is surprisingly accurate with thrown paper airplanes. He is a very adept roller-skater, frequently donning a pair to race around on errands. He was fond of costumes, especially dressing up as Star Wars characters, though these didn't really amount to the level of disguises as they didn't tend to fool anyone. CYRIL has air-brakes in his hands and feet that can shoot out high pressure air; while these do not permit flight, they can slow him down when he falls to facilitate a safe landing. According to system analyst Doctor Angst, CYRIL has an extremely high computing capacity; if we were to take Angst's comments about how big literally, CYRIL's brain has a capacity in the hundreds of billions of Terabytes.

Height: 4'5" (by approximation - see comments)
Weight: Unrevealed
Eyes: Black (no visible irises)
Hair: None

History:
(Return of the Jedi#79 (fb) - BTS) - The android CYRIL was designed and built by parties unknown, apparently somewhere in the USA. For unrevealed reasons CYRIL's parts were then sent via air freight to Marvel U.K.'s offices in London, England.

(Return of the Jedi#79 (fb)) - When the package containing CYRIL's parts arrived at Marvel U.K.'s offices it was greeted with confusion by the staff, who wondered if the mechanical parts within belonged to a vacuum cleaner or flexi-lamp. Once assembled the staff initially assumed he was some kind of puppet until he began speaking autonomously.

(Star Wars Weekly#41 (fb) - BTS) - CYRIL was put to work in the office.

(Star Wars Weekly#41) - Taking over answering correspondents' queries for Star Wars Weekly, CYRIL informed readers that he had taken over from the computer that had held the job until then, which had been terminated for being faulty. He apologized for his predecessor's poor performance and also noted that he would send a reprimand to a printing computer for placing pages from a recent story in the wrong order.

(Return of the Jedi#59) - CYRIL won first place in the readers' droids popularity poll.

(Return of the Jedi#61) - As a result of this win, CYRIL decided to let the readers see what he looked like, and had artist Steve Parkhouse do several portraits of him to be displayed each week in the Lift Off section of Marvel U.K.'s Return of the Jedi weekly comic, so his fans could see his "tireless editorial efforts."

   Later in the same issue CYRIL identified himself as an android, "a robot made to simulate a human being" in the first part of the A-Z of the Star Wars saga Star-File feature.

(Return of the Jedi#64) - CYRIL instructed readers on how to make their own puppet version of him using egg boxes.

(Return of the Jedi#65) - CYRIL revealed to the readers that he had an electric pencil sharpener built into his left ear.

(Return of the Jedi#67) - CYRIL was visited at the Star Wars comic offices by Steve Parkhouse, popping in for tea and a chat. Amused by the hilarious goings on in the office, Steve decided that CYRIL, as Editor-Droid, should appear in his very own strip, and began work on creating same for publication in the near future.

(Return of the Jedi#68 - BTS) - After spending a week reading horror books in an attempt to find and recommend the best three to the readers, the terrified CYRIL locked himself in the stationary cupboard, too scared to write the reviews because he believed the office was haunted and his typewriter was an evil embodiment of an ancient curse.

(Return of the Jedi#73) - Excited at the prospect of starring in his new strip CYRIL dressed up for his day at the office, wearing a ringmaster's outfit and eagerly breaking the fourth wall to welcome the readers. However the wind was swiftly taken out of his sails by the rest of the Marvel U.K. bullpen, who listened to his rambling introductory speech with varying degrees of apathy, disinterest and mild annoyance. When the droid pushed them to get a response from them, they asked him to make some coffee and pop out to the shops to pick them up snacks. Disheartened, CYRIL promised himself that someday he'd be a star.

(Return of the Jedi#74) - In the Lift-Off contents page an upset CYRIL informed readers that his fellow workers at Marvel Comics were very upset a the publication of The Adventures of an Editor-Droid, as it had revealed how badly they treated him, forcing him to make coffee and run errands. Hearing someone else entering the offices, CYRIL quickly changed his tune, describing his co-workers as wonderful people, but once they left again CYRIL said the readers were his only friends and begged them not to mention he'd been moaning, since the other staff opened all his mail.

   Later, trying to look like a Jedi, CYRIL donned a cloak and informed the readers that he was better looking and cooler than C3PO, since unlike the obsequious limey he didn't let humans boss him round. Leaping onto a desk, he also proclaimed himself more agile than R2-D2, then began swinging a lightsaber around while standing atop the workspace. As he battled his imaginary opponent, he noted those other droids were only men in suits, unlike him, and announced that he would become Luke Skywalker's new droid, the first and only robot to become a Jedi. Unfortunately an overenthusiastic swing while standing too close to the edge unbalanced him, and he fell out the window, crashing down into a trash can outside. Now stuck within with his hands and feet punched through the receptacle's sides and base, CYRIL strode back into the office, informing a curious staffer that he was just trying out a new laser-proof vest, the latest costume for Jedi.

(Return of the Jedi#75) - Wearing a C3PO mask, CYRIL wandered through the Marvel offices play-acting at being the protocol droid until one of the human staffers told him to cut the cackle and do some photocopying; CYRIL accepted the instruction, albeit with a sarcastic reply thrown in. Later that morning CYRIL donned a cloak, robe and Darth Vader mask, and stormed along the corridors with a lightsaber declaring himself Vader the Raider. He engaged an annoyed co-worker in a lightsaber duel; when the human pointed out that they all knew it was really him in the costume CYRIL removed the mask but remained unrepentant about his annoying activities. That afternoon the staffers got their revenge, informing CYRIL they had another mask for him, then putting him outside on the street wearing a Guy Fawkes mask to sit in a cardboard box and collect pennies for the Guy (see comments).

(Return of the Jedi#76) - CYRIL was asked to put a stamp on an envelope and then get the letter inside into the postbox before the last post was collected in five minutes. Unable to personally lick the stamp, CYRIL solved the problem by violently stamping on a co-worker's right foot, and when the man opened his mouth to scream in pain the robot wiped the stamp on his protruding tongue. With the stamp duly applied, CYRIL donned his roller skates and raced into the street, only to round a corner and run straight into a hole that workmen had dug in the pavement (sidewalk).

(Return of the Jedi#77) - Emerging from the sewers via a manhole cover in the middle of the road CYRIL spotted that the postal van had already collected the mail from the postbox and was now driving away. Producing a rope with a hook on the end, CYRIL emulated Harrison Ford from Raiders of the Lost Ark, ducked down, and as the van passed over him he attached his cord to its undercarriage. Hanging on to this tether CYRIL was yanked up onto the street behind the vehicle and was towed along in its wake, but when the van stopped at some traffic lights CYRIL realized that unlike it he had no brakes. Unable to stop, he shot by the side of the vehicle and straight towards the heavy flow of cross traffic.

(Return of the Jedi#78) - To avoid a collision CYRIL telescopically extended his left arm to grab the traffic light pole and swing himself round the corner, but this caused him to shoot up a wooden ramp at the side of some construction work, and then land in wet concrete. Though his his feet were now encased and his speed curtailed, CYRIL realized he had arrived at the back of the post office, and spotted the mailman about to enter. Hastily CYRIL folded the letter he had been entrusted with into an airplane and with a might throw launched it into the mailman's bag. His feet still coated in hardened concrete he returned to the Marvel offices and when asked if he had managed to catch the post he ensured his coworker that he had sent it airmail.

(Return of the Jedi#79) - The Marvel staffers listened outside the door of CYRIL's "room" (closet) as the robot held a conversation with himself. They recalled the day the parcel containing him arrived, and how he hadn't stopped talking since being assembled. A few seconds later CYRIL emerged, again dressed as Vader the Raider, declaring to no one in particular that it was "No More Mister Nice Guy!"

(Return of the Jedi#80) - With Christmas approaching CYRIL bought himself a "robot" Christmas tree made of aluminum foil. Later, at the office party, he was touched when the rest of the staff gave him a present. Unwrapping it he was excited to discover it was a miniature Imperial AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport), a.k.a. a Walker, something he had long wanted. However when he took it for a walk he was mortified when it stopped to relieve itself on his Christmas tree.

(Return of the Jedi#81) - Hoping to get a part in the next Star Wars movie CYRIL attempted to master the ways of the Force, much to the consternation of the Marvel staffers, who watched the robot waving his hands at kettles suspended by string from the ceiling and attempting to do one-handed handstands while balancing office equipment on the soles of his feet. After CYRIL fell over, he told his observers that if they had nothing better to do than break his concentration, they could help him master his mental control of physical objects, stating that a true Jedi knew what would happen before it did. Thus he asked them to pick card from a deck he held out, and confidently declared it was the ten of spades. Though holding a different card, the staffer congratulated the robot on getting it right, and as CYRIL walked off happy, he told his colleague that the sooner the metal maniac thought he'd mastered the force, the sooner they'd get some work done.

(Return of the Jedi#82) - CYRIL surprised staff by entering the office dressed in Hoth-style winter gear and pulling a vacuum cleaner behind him. As he hung himself upside down from a light fitting, they realized he was still on his Jedi Knight delusion, and watched as he used the vacuum to "force pull" letters to his hand. Then the boss entered, causing CYRIL to fall in fright. Looming over the robot, who'd become entangled in the vacuum's hose, the boss told him that if he didn't stop horsing around he'd show CYRIL a display of "force" he'd never forget.

(Return of the Jedi#83) - Having watched all three Star Wars movies about a hundred times, CYRIL finally noticed that Luke Skywalker swung on ropes a lot, so he started doing the same...in the office. The staff reckoned the boss was losing his patience, so CYRIL might be heading for a fall. Just then the boss walked in, and CYRIL crashed headlong into a wall. As the enraged boss closed on the dazed robot, one of the staff members pulled a curtain across to obscure what was about to take place, citing the fact that they had a strict policy about showing violence in the comic.

(Return of the Jedi#84 (fb)) - Still training to be a Jedi, when CYRIL was told to type out a batch of subscription addresses CYRIL plugged himself into the computer to save himself the work, but was caught red-handed by the boss; the fright caused CYRIL to overload the computer, which took two weeks to mend. Then CYRIL tried to distribute the morning mail blindfolded, saying a true Jedi shouldn't trust his eyes, only his feelings, but this upset the staffs' feelings as CYRIL hurled packages around wildly, then ran into the boss, putting an end to that. Mad, the boss told CYRIL he had to do ashtray duty for a week.

(Return of the Jedi#84) - Realizing he'd not seen CYRIL for a while, one staffer asked about him and was told of his punishment. He asked his colleague to confirm that CYRIL was now having to empty the boss' ashtrays for a week, and his colleague directed his attention into the open door of the boss' office, where CYRIL was sitting covered in a pile of ash and half-smoked cigars, noting that CYRIL WAS the boss' ashtray for the week.

(Return of the Jedi#85) - CYRIL's colleagues noted that he was a changed robot since his week as an ashtray, now being polite, helpful and well-behaved, and they wondered if they had been too harsh and might club together to get him a present, unaware that CYRIL was still daydreaming about being a rebel and now merely treating them as Imperials to fool with his disguise of acting innocent.

(Return of the Jedi#86) - The staff bought CYRIL a gift (clearly a wrapped up oil can from its shape), but while he thanked them he said he would open it later, as it was time to clear up after lunch first. They watched as he collected their food leftovers in a bag, but then he walked to the cabinet he'd marked as his office and threw the food in there. One of the staff asked why he'd done that, and CYRIL informed the surprised group that he was just feeding Bonzo, his pet.

(Return of the Jedi#87) - CYRIL told the staff he was taking Bonzo for a walk. As they discussed this, the boss walked in and asked what they were going on about, then noted that if CYRIL was keeping a pet he'd turn the roboti into spares for the vacuum cleaner. Just then CYRIL walked in, pulling a rope that rose high into the air behind him, as if attached to something giant. The staffers grew concerned that Bonzo might be something huge, but then CYRIL pulled in a balloon, which he'd gotten free from a fast food joint. As the staffers breathed a sigh of relief, CYRIL noted quietly that he had to keep them guessing.

(Return of the Jedi#88) - The staff and general passersby in the street watched with consternation as CYRIL walked around, apparently unaccompanied but talking to the unseen Bonzo. In the bullpen they concluded that either Bonzo was invisible or CYRIL had a screw loose.

(Return of the Jedi#89) - As the staf watched CYRIL play ball and throw sticks for Bonzo to fetch, they became convinced he'd gone nuts. When the boss spotted this he told them to do something about it, so the staff decided to make the robot an appointment with Doctor Angst.

(Return of the Jedi#90 - BTS) - CYRIL's friends met with system analyst Doctor Angst, who concluded that CYRIL's enormous computing capacity was being  grossly underused since he was only carrying out menial tasks, which was sending him what was called in technical terms, doolally. To eliminate his obsession with his imaginary pet, they needed to stretch him more.

(Return of the Jedi#91) - This CYRIL's colleagues assigned him a lot of additional work, including making up the correspondence page, sorting out the company accounts, putting together the next issue, making coffee, writing and drawing three months worth of Jedi comic strips, and gathering sales figures for the last half year, all of which he completed between 930 and 1015. Watching him, CYRIL's colleagues suddenly wondered what would be left for them to do.

(Return of the Jedi#92) - Continuing to keep CYRIL busy, he was assigned to the reception desk. In the middle of answering the phones a courier came in, but every time he tried to tell CYRIL what he was there for the phone would ring and CYRIL would pause the courier to answer it. After several minutes the courier was becoming increasingly frustrated, which wasn't helped when the next phone call was from his office asking what was holding him up.

(Return of the Jedi#93) - Having gathered all the post and parcels from the office, CYRIL headed down to the local post office to send them off. Momentarily distracted catching a parcel that fell off the top of the pile, he walked into a wealthy woman who wasn't watching where she was going while out walking her dog. CYRIL apologized for knocking her over, and helped her back up, so she insisted he accept a reward. At first this sounded good to CYRIL, and he accompanied her back to her Rolls Royce, but then she dropped him off at a cafe and paid for a large meal. Staring at the pile of bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes), CYRIL concluded she'd been reading the Beano too long (see comments).

(Return of the Jedi#94) - To amuse himself CYRIL played a practical joke on the rest of the Bullpen. While they were out he built a large wooden box, then hide inside it with a stack of artwork. When the other staff arrived the saw the box, which had two slots, the top instructing that blank paper should be inserted there, and the bottom noting that artwork would be delivered out of it. The staff concluded it was some kind of new labor-saving device and decided to try it out, though as they inserted the paper in one noted that the device did what they suspected there would be trouble. To their surprise the device seemed to work, kicking out finished pages of art almost immediately. Concluding they couldn't allow this, the staff immediately went on strike, protesting automated art production (A.I. art!) Peeking out of his box, CYRIL realized he'd have a tough time talking his way out of the mess he'd caused.

(Return of the Jedi#95) - The artist who had fed the paper into CYRIL's container noticed that the robot was now reading a comic and asked what it was. CYRIL told him it was the Transformers, about robots who could fold up and transform into different machinery, adding that he wished he could do that. Hearing that, the staff member suggested he could help, and recruited the rest of the staff. They offered to show him how to do the transforming trick, but when he eagerly accepted they twisted and bent him, got a spanner to rearrange parts, and tied him up, leaving him trussed up looking like a vacuum cleaner.

(Return of the Jedi#96) - The staff noted how paranoid CYRIL was about his Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back VHS tapes, keeping them under lock and key in a metal vault, and wondered how bad he'd get when Return of the Jedi got released to home video.

(Return of the Jedi#97) - Informed it was a new office policy, CYRIL was asked to answer a few personal questions. He gave his surname as Computer, and his initials as CYRIL, when asked his age he said he thought he was five, but then when asked if he had any scars or distinguishing features he got embarrassed and stated that he didn't like to say. When pressed, he whispered it to the interviewer, who was surprised and asked him to show her. Bending over and blushing, CYRIL showed off an engraving on his posterior stating he was "Made in Great Britain."

(Return of the Jedi#98) - The staff watched with growing curiosity as CYRIL methodically and very thoroughly applied polish to every single part of his body. Eventually one asked him what was going on, querying if perhaps he had a date as CYRIL tied plastic bags round his feet. Striding off CYRIL informed them that with the rain outside if he didn't wax himself he'd rust.

(Return of the Jedi#99) - Finishing for the day, two of CYRIL's colleagues asked the receptionist if CYRIL had already left, and she confirmed he'd gone about fifteen minutes earlier with the post, as, more curiously, a blanket, pillow and enormous thermos flash of hot oil. This lead his colleagues to wonder if CYRIL was sleeping rough, so they decided to check the neighborhood. Wandering the streets they soon located CYRIL camped out in a doorway, but when they told him he could stay with them if he needed to, CYRIL explained he wasn't homeless, just getting in place early outside the newsagent so he could pick up his copy of Return of the Jedi#100 when it came out the next morning.

(Return of the Jedi#100) - As CYRIL walked around the Marvel offices he noticed the other staff members having whispered conversations that suddenly became total silence whenever he got near, and he began to wonder what was going on and why they weren't telling him. Then he began to wonder if they were talking about him. Getting back from a visit to the post office CYRIL was given a note by the receptionist to come to the editorial room. Increasingly paranoid, he jumped to the conclusion the boss was going have him dismantled, sold as scrap or turned into a teasmaid. By the time he reached the editorial room CYRIL was quietly panicking, but when he opened the door he was met by a party celebrating Return of the Jedi's hundredth issue. As he accepted a cup of oil from one of the staffers another told him they didn't want to tell him too soon, since the boss only decided to let them have the party that afternoon.

(Return of the Jedi#101) - The staff noticed that CYRIL had been going down to the supermarket a lot recently, and began to suspect he'd fallen in love.

(Return of the Jedi#102) - With CYRIL still seemingly in a very good mood and eager for any excuse to go to the supermarket a staff member asked him if he'd got a friend there, and the clearly smitten robot admitted he had, someone beautiful and smart with a real head for figures working at the checkout desk. However, this concerned the staff, since they were sure he'd get hurt, because a human could never love a robot back. They decided they'd have to do something before CYRIL's emotions were destroyed.

(Return of the Jedi#103) - When CYRIL headed to the supermarket again the other staff decided to follow, and found him sitting on the kerb outside crying. They tried to console him by telling him that a romance between him and a checkout girl would never work out, but he insisted she cared for him, but someone was taking her away. Thinking CYRIL's girlfriend had been arrested the staff offered to hire lawyers, but CYRIL corrected them, pointing to a delivery man carrying out an old till, and explaining that his "girlfriend" was being replaced by a modern computerized version.

(Return of the Jedi#104) - In an attempt to help CYRIL get over his heartbreak one of the staff gave him a more compatible girlfriend, a calculator. The robot amused himself having "conversations" with it, using upside down number displays to create words.

(Return of the Jedi#105) - The boss sent CYRIL to buy some cigars, but he got stuck in a queue at the shop behind a customer who couldn't decide what exactly he wanted and kept nitpicking what he was given. Eventually CYRIL got served and raced back to the office, where the boss chastized him for being late and told the robot that if he was ever kept waiting for his cigars again, it was CYRIL who would be late.

(Return of the Jedi#106) - Sent by the boss to the bank for some petty cash CYRIL was caught up in an armed robbery. As they left the robbers told everyone inside not to move for the next five minutes, and then CYRIL had to wait to give a statement to the police. Returning to the offices he recounted his tale, but the boss refused to believe him, stating that was the most ridiculous excuse he'd ever heard, and warning the robot not to lie or be late again or else.

(Return of the Jedi#107) - Rising from bed in the morning CYRIL reminded himself he couldn't risk being late again, though as he raced to work he did note it was somewhat unfair that the boss refused to believe his claim of being late back from the bank because he'd been caught in a hold-up. Just then a beam of light came down from the sky and CYRIL found himself pulled up into a spaceship 150 miles above the Earth. Looking at his alien captors, CYRIL asked if they were just passing, and one of them instructed their doctor to begin the tests. As they carried out their tests CYRIL cheerily asked if he'd passed. Finishing the examination the doctor informed his commander that CYRIL was indeed a machine, and concluded that this proved the typical Earthling was a machine. The commander noted that this meant there was no point conquering Earth, since it was no fun conquering machines since they felt no pain. He ordered his soldiers to return CYRIL to where they'd found him, then cancel the plans for invading Earth, and try Venus instead. Returned to Earth, CYRIL arrived at the office late and was met by the angry boss, who demanded to know where he'd been. Silently fuming, CYRIL said he'd overslept.

(Return of the Jedi#108) - CYRIL took part in a competition with his fellow staffers trying to identify theme tunes based on them taking turns humming them. With his computer mind CYRIL kept swiftly identifying every one else's guess, but every time it was his turn he did the Star Wars theme.

(Return of the Jedi#109) - CYRIL went on a fitness kick, lifting office typewriters like they were weights and telling the staff they needed more exercise. After he left the room they noted that robots didn't have muscles and wondered how CYRIL thought he'd build his up.

(Return of the Jedi#110) - Reading about the Hulk in a Spider-Man comic CYRIL noted he'd hate to meet him in a deserted corridor, but a staff memebr reassured CYRIL that fighting fit robot like him shouldn't be afraid. While CYRIL was agreeing with her, stating he was no pushover himself two other staffers who'd overheard whispered conspiratorially and slipped out the room. CYRIL started going on about how fit he was, then opened the door only to see an angry Hulk facing him. As the Hulk snarled CYRIL raced off in terror, and the "Hulk" removed his mask to reveal one of the staff members who had left earlier. Watching CYRIL race down the corridor the staff noted CYRIL was right about being fit making all the difference in a tight spot, noting how well the robot could run.

(Return of the Jedi#111) - Two of the staff covertly observed as the boss instructed CYRIL to cover his floor with a dust sheet while painting his office, so as to not get any paint specks on the carpet, adding that the robot could have a day off if he did a good job. Feeling that CYRIL was being creepy in his superciliousness, the pair decided to disrupt the painting by yanking the dust sheet out from under CYRIL while he was up a stepladder painting the ceiling, but though this caused CYRIL to take a tumble he managed to land on his stomach with a brush in each hand and the paint pots sitting safe and unspilled on the soles of his boots.

(Return of the Jedi#112) - CYRIL stomped heavily around the office, making as much noise as possible with his feet as he could. As he departed a staffer asked the others what had gotten into the robot, and was told he'd read an article about a sound mind being in a sound body.

(Secret Wars#8) - With the Marvel offices having been plagued by a mysterious "Secret Artist" who would break in at night and leave behind bizarre distorted sketches of Marvel characters, CYRIL was tasked with staying in the office overnight to catch the intruder. However, almost as soon as the staff left the office the tiny gnomish Secret Artist emerged from the vents and asked CYRIL if he'd like to be in a Star Wars picture. CYRIL immediately and enthusiastically agreed, so the Artist threw some green curtains over the robot to create a cloak and shoved a ventilation grill in his mouth, then hastily sketched CYRIL as Doctor Vader (or perhaps Darth Doom).

(Return of the Jedi#113) - Running late for a lunch appointment as staff member requested in rude manner that CYRIL water her plants, adding that the can was on the filing cabinet. Spotting both a watering can and an oil can there, CYRIL filled up the latter with water, so that when the staffer returned she thought he'd been giving her plants oil, and thus wouldn't give him that task again.

(Return of the Jedi#114) - CYRIL joined the staff going on a picnic in the boss' car, looking forward to the excursion because he'd never been to a picnic before. However part way there the car stalled because it was out of oil, so the staff drained CYRIL. Without oil, CYRIL's brain went on pause, and he sat inert throughout the entire picnic.

(Return of the Jedi#115) - To get revenge, CYRIL invited everyone to a dinner party "to make up for him missing out on the picnic." When they started on the "soup" course they suddenly discovered he'd served them oil, specifically "crude with croutons," and CYRIL informed them the next course was his favorite, nut and bolt salad.

(Return of the Jedi#116) - Having decided he wanted to become an actor, CYRIL regaled the office with passages from Richard the Third until the annoyed boss told him he'd give him an acting job, specifically acting switchboard operator since the receptionist was going for lunch.

(Return of the Jedi#117) - CYRIL received a letter from an acting agent informing the robot he had a job. After he left the office excited to perform his first role the staffers decided to pop down to the address given in the letter to see what he was playing, and found a disheartened CYRIL dressed as a dishwashing machine standing outside an appliance shop.

(Return of the Jedi#118) -  CYRIL informed the office that he was off on holiday, and when they asked where he was heading he told them Bermuda, leaving the boss in particular wondering how he could afford that on his salary. At the airport CYRIL approached a well-dressed man without bags, who confirmed he was on a weekend business trip to Bermuda. CYRIL asked for a favor, and finding the idea amusing the man agreed, then went to check in and handed a folded CYRIL in as his luggage.

(Return of the Jedi#119) - While cleaning the offices CYRIL knocked over a bottle of ink onto some artwork intended for the next week's comic. Not wanting to get into trouble, he tried hiding it among other artwork sitting nearby, then when the binman knocked on the door and asked if there was any rubbish to go CYRIL gave him all the art, figuring he could claim the dustman took the artwork away by mistake. A few minutes later a staff member came in and noticed the artwork was missing, but CYRIL claimed ignorance about where it had gone, adding that he didn't care. She told him he should, since she'd hid his pay packet between some of the art to keep it safe. CYRIL fell of his chair in shock, then raced down to the street to chase the refuse truck.

(Return of the Jedi#120) - Tying a shaggy rug round himself, CYRIL stood in front of the door and asked the office how they liked his Chewie impression, but then was knocked over when the mailman barged in, noting that their rug was lumpy as he trod over CYRIL. Then the boss kicked CYRIL flying, telling him to stop lying down on the job. CYRIL flew out the window, but landed safely as he had air brakes, only to be swooped up by a short-sighted dogcatcher and hauled off to the local pound.

(Return of the Jedi#121) - Having heard that George Lucas wasn't making a new Star Wars film yet, CYRIL decided to do one for him, and become the director of "Star Wars IV: The Next Bit," hoping he might even meet some famous film stars. He nearly caught the receptionist's nose in a clapper board, then while swinging round a stick "lightsabre" as "Obi-Wan CYRIL" he accidentally removed an artist's belt, causing their pants to fall down. Running away from the annoyed artists CYRIL slipped and crashed into the wall. Seeing the dazed robot, one of the staffers quipped that he was seeing plenty of stars now.

(Return of the Jedi#122) - When CYRIL opened a filing cabinet to file the next week's script the wind from an open window snatched it out his hand and whisked it outside. CYRIL gave pursuit on his roller skates as it was blown into an outdoor farmers' market. There he literally upset the apple cart, then spotted the script stuck on what he thought was a cow's horn - except as he snatched it he discovered it was actually a bull as it struck him, sending him flying all the way back in the office window to land at his desk. Moments later a staff member came in, saw him sitting there, and told him to get his skates on and file the script.

(Return of the Jedi#123) - CYRIL decided to strike for more pay and less work, parading outside the office with a placard. However, he accidentally knocked out a staffer with the placard, and then another staffer emerging from inside tripped on the stunned man and so threw the parcel she was carrying into the face of an arriving artist. With unconscious staff literally piling up, CYRIL piled them into the store cupboard, but then more staff members showed up and demanded access. When they pushed him out the way the staff within fell out, knocking the rest out too. Seeing that CYRIL had knocked out the entire office, and probably ensured they wouldn't be fit to work for a week, he threatened to melt down CYRIL for scrap unless he completed everyone else's work on the upcoming issues.

(Return of the Jedi#124) - CYRIL's habit of slamming doors open started to cause small bits of debris to fall from the ceilings, so the receptionist fitted all the doors with powerful springs, so that if they were slammed open they would bounce back. Sure enough, when CYRIL arrived for work he once more slammed the door open, and it threw him back so hard he struck the door on the opposite side of the corridor, which in turn catapulted him back at the original door so hard he took it off its hinges. As he looked at the receptionist, who was now covered by multiple down ceiling tiles, he noted that at least he couldn't slam the door any more, since there wasn't one.

(Return of the Jedi#125) - CYRIL celebrated getting his pay, looking forward to spending it, until the receptionist took some to pay for the door he'd demolished the week before, then an artist snatched more to pay for the artwork he'd ruined by putting it in the dishwasher by mistake, and then a third staffer helped themselves to a "loan" without waiting to see if he would agree. Glancing down, CYRIL consoled himself that at least he still had £5 left, only for another staffer to take it as his contribution for the Christmas Party. Now left only with pennies, CYRIL lamented "roll on next month."

(Return of the Jedi#126) - CYRIL was on night duty in the offices but began to get freaked out wandering around in the dark. He jumped at what he thought was a burglar, but which proved to just be a coatstand. Then, as he was getting his wits back, someone tapped him on the shoulder. In an utter panic CYRIL fled, smashing through a wall to escape, unaware it was just a staffer who'd come back looking for his wallet.

(Secret Wars#25) - The Marvel staffers finally captured the Secret Artist and tried to decide what to do with him. They discussed various hypothetical tortures, all to be administered by CYRIL, but then CYRIL wandered by and suggested they give him a job, pointing out he had a really unique style. Deciding this was a wonderful idea the boss hired the artist. Hearing this, the two staffers who'd been pursuing the Artist for months decided it was time to take their Christmas Holidays. Hearing this, CYRIL started to tell them about his holiday, but they fled before he could get going.

(Doctor Who Magazine#99) - CYRIL visited the Ringway Carnival on planet Ringway and stood in line waiting to see the Tattooed Man, unaware that the sixth Doctor and Frobisher were walking by.

(Doctor Who Magazine Tenth Anniversary Special 1989) - CYRIL encountered the sixth Doctor, Peri Brown, Frobisher, Ivan Asimoff and some penguins (see comments).

(Doctor Who Magazine#207) - CYRIL and Frobisher went fishing together, while nearby the sixth Doctor's attempt to get some peace and quiet fishing was interrupted by his seventh incarnation.

(Vworp Vworp#2) - CYRIL joined individuals from across the Marvel Megaverse in attending the wedding of Sheila Cranna (see comments).

(Doctor Who Magazine#192) - Having apparently been switched off or become otherwise inert, CYRIL was left in a TARDIS storeroom amongst other bric-a-brac.

Comments: Created by Richard Burton (computer version that answered readers' letters), Steve Parkhouse (visual design, and writing ongoing comic strip), and possibly Jenny O'Connor (concept of robot version); this last is unconfirmed, but Alan McKenzie who wrote several installments believes she was likely the editor who came up with the idea, per the Starlogged blog.

   The writers and artists were uncredited, but the art style is clearly that of Steve Parkhouse for some episodes and John Ridgway for others; additionally, Alan McKenzie confirmed that he and Steve both wrote some stories, but not which, nor whether anyone else took up that role.

   The letters' page in Star Wars Weekly initially had an unidentified individual responding to the readers, but in Star Wars Weekly#41 someone decided to let a fictional correspondent take over. CYRIL was in virtually all subsequent issues, but since listing literally a couple of hundred issues with "CYRIL answered readers' letters" would be both repetitive and uninformative, I've only mentioned that initial page. Additionally, as time progressed CYRIL began to host the Lift Off contents page at the start of issues, and a variety of text features; again, since these mostly amount to little more than "CYRIL introduced XXX" umpteen times, they've been left out of the history. 

   Despite appearing in Marvel UK titles, and having "Made in Britain" engraved into his posterior, CYRIL apparently did not consider himself British. As his origin in Return of the Jedi#70 showed, he was posted to Marvel from the USA, and in his Return of the Jedi#74 strip he described fellow droid C3PO as a "limey."

   Return of the Jedi#74 and CYRIL "collecting pennies for the Guy": Thanks to V for Vendetta, a lot of people outside of the U.K. now have at least a vague idea who Guy Fawkes was, and about Bonfire Night, but to summarize, Fawkes was one of a group of Catholic revolutionaries who tried to blow up England's Houses of Parliament in A.D. 1605. The plot failed, Fawkes was executed and since then the date that Fawkes was arrested became a celebration, initially known as Gunpowder Treason Day and subsequently Guy Fawkes Night, Bonfire Night or Fireworks Night. The night is an excuse for bonfires and to set off fireworks, and, though far less common now, it used to be normal for children to put together some sort of human-sized effigy of Fawkes, perhaps pillows covered by old clothes, a hat, and hand-drawn paper mask, and take it round in a cart asking people to give them small change for charity (or themselves) - "pennies for the Guy." The unfortunate golem would then end up on a bonfire. In CYRIL's case, the Guy Fawkes mask he wore was very much the V for Vendetta version, no great surprise as the CYRIL story was published a couple of years into V's run in Warrior Magazine, and so V's mask was already well known to British comic readers.

   Return of the Jedi#93 ends with CYRIL seated in front of a heaped pile of sausages and mashed potatoes, and him thinking that someone has read the Beano for too long. In the years after World War II, when rationing was still in place and so people were used to eating limited amounts, British comics like the Beano frequently ended comedy strips with characters being rewarded for good deeds by being bought a large meal, usually (presumably because it was both a food most would be familiar with, and because it was easy to recognizably draw) a mountain of mashed potatoes with sausages sticking out. This was still common to British comic readers in the 1980s (such as myself), hence CYRIL's comment.

   CYRIL's appearance in the Doctor Who Magazine 10th Anniversary Special was only in a poster, not a story. However, since he did also appear in actual stories alongside some of the same characters, I'm choosing to consider it a legitimate part of his history, a snapshot of an actual event in his life. It would even make sense in terms of forming an overall narrative - CYRIL somehow ends up at the Ringway Carnival, meets the Doctor and Frobisher, begins traveling with them (but stays out of the way during adventures - not impossible, as prior robot companion Kamelion managed to do so, hidden somewhere in the depths of the TARDIS during multiple TV stories), but eventually breaks down and gets left in a storage room.

   Vworp Vworp is an intermittent fan magazine for the comic strips of Marvel's Doctor Who Weekly/Monthly/Magazine - specifically the Doctor's long running strip rather than the character/show in general, or the other comics the character has appeared in. In the second issue they featured artwork done as a wedding gift to one of the magazine's editors that featured several characters from titles she had worked on, alongside artists and writers she had worked with. Despite the unusual context of the appearance, I chose to count this as a valid appearance for Snailman. Feel free to disagree.

   From left to right at the wedding, we have: art director Steve Cook (handing out his business card), the Dinobot Sludge, Snailman, Captain Wally, the Decepticon leader Megatron, Spider-Man, editor Sheila Cranna, her groom/husband-to-be (sorry, don't know his name), the TARDIS, Autobot leader Optimus Prime, the Doctor's companion Peri Brown, the sixth Doctor, artist John Ridgway (behind the Doctor's arm), the Doctor's shapeshifting companion Frobisher, artist Will Simpson (riding on Optimus' shoulder), Nessie (a nod to Sheila being Scottish, and located above and behind Will Simpson), writer and artist Ian Rimmer (wearing the blue suit), Star Wars editor droid CYRIL, DWM assistant editor Penny Holme, writer and artist Richard Starkings (green suit), writer and editor John Tomlinson (in the buggy), and writer Simon Furman (pink suit).

   The wedding picture provides the best comparison for estimating CYRIL's height. He's seen standing on the same level and distance from the reader as the nearby sixth Doctor, who was played by 6' tall actor Colin Baker, and CYRIL appears to be roughly 2 heads shorter than him. Since the normal human body is 7.5 heads tall, we can estimate CYRIL to be around 4'5", give or take an inch.

   This profile was completed on 09/27/2026, but its publication was delayed as it was intended for the Appendix 25^th anniversary's celebratory event to represent Star Wars UK.

Profile by Loki.

CLARIFICATIONS:
CYRIL has no known connections to:

• CYRIL (Dr. Phillip Krantz) - microbiologist, slain by Sabretooth--Sabretooth: Mary Shelly Overdrive#2
  
• or any other "Cyril" characters

images: (without ads)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#62 (UK), p1, pan3 (main image)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#71, p28, pan1 (headshot)
Star Wars; Return of the Jedi#79, p5, pan2-5 (CYRIL's origin)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#61 (UK), p1, pan2 (first visual depiction of CYRIL, making tea)
Star Wars Weekly#41, p20 (first letters' page message from CYRIL)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#68, p12, pan 1 (CYRIL with postbag)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#68, p5, pan1-3 (telescopic arms)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#95, p5, pan8 (CYRIL "transformed" into vacuum cleaner)
Secret Wars#8, p3, pan8 (Darth Doom)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#120, p5, pan6 (air-brakes)
Doctor Who Magazine Tenth Anniversary Special p24, pan 1 (CYRIL with the Doctor, Frobisher, Peri and Ivan Asimoff)
Doctor Who Magazine#207, p35, pan1 (CYRIL fishing with Frobisher)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#64, p28, pan1 (egg box puppet CYRIL)

Appearances:
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi#73-126 (10th November 1984-16th November 1985) - Steve Parkhouse & John Ridgeway (art - specific issues each did is unknown), Steve Parkhouse & Alan McKenzie (writers - specific issues each did is unknown)
Secret Wars#8 (3rd-16th August 1985) - Ian Rimmer (writer), Simon Jacob (art)
Secret Wars#25 (21st December 1985) - Ian Rimmer (writer), Simon Jacob (art)

First Posted: 09/28/2026
Last updated: 09/27/2026

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

Non-Marvel Copyright info
All other characters mentioned or pictured are ™ and © 1941-2099 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved. If you like this stuff, you should check out the real thing!
Please visit The Marvel Official Site at: http://www.marvel.com

Special Thanks to www.g-mart.com for hosting the Appendix, Master List, etc.!

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