captain_bleed-hksa-fullCAPTAIN BLEED

Real Name: Bleed may or may not be his first name and/or his surname

Identity/Class: Alternate Reality (Earth-20118) human (see comments);
    English citizen (or at least of English descent);
    active in 16th Century (see comments)

Occupation: Pirate

Group Membership: Former leader of the crew of his pirate ship (including Mr. First Mate, Mr. Flagg, Mr. Manners, Mr. Marksman, Mr. Punch, Mr. Swag)

Affiliations: Formerly his crewmen

Enemies: His crewmen, Spanish soldiers, crew of a Spanish merchant ship and the niece of the viceroy of Tortuga (and presumably the viceroy, and Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand; he did not seem to like Spaniards)

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: Scourge of the Antilles

Base of Operations: Unrevealed;
    former a Spanish warship, presumably in the Mediterranean Sea;
    formerly an unidentified pirate ship, presumably in the Mediterranean Sea;

First Appearance: Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed" (1990)

captain_bleed-hksa-swordPowers/Abilities: Captain Bleed was an experienced pirate and ship's captain, although he had a difficult time remembering the names for the different types and levels of his ship's sails.

    Captain Bleed was a skilled swordsman, but he was also highly sporting, allowing an opponent to repeatedly recover his weapon after Bleed had disarmed him, which continued until he eventually was injured or defeated.

    Captain Bleed did not have knowledge or experience with romancing a woman.

Height: Unrevealed (approximately 5'10")
Weight: Unrevealed (approximately 180 lbs.)
Eyes: Unrevealed
Hair: Blond

History:

(Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed" (fb) - BTS) - By 1533 A.D., Captain Bleed was a piratical legend, also known as the Scourge of the Antilles and with a 500 lira price on his head, preying on the shipping lanes of Spain.

(Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed") - Following a bracing game of shuffleboard with his first mate, Mr. First Mate, Captain Bleed instructed Mr. Mate to gather all hands on deck for the Ugliest Pirate Contest, with the winner getting an extra ration of grog while the best looking would get twenty lashes of the cat. He further stated that since he was not in the contest, he was guaranteed to be the best looking pirate on board.

    However, before the contest could begin, a Spanish merchant ship was spied, and Bleed ordered Mr. Marksman to demonstrate English marksmanship by laying a shot across their bow, but instead Mr. Marksman shot hit their own jibstay (the foremost aspect of the ship). After the Spaniards signaled for them to show colors, Mr. Flagg mistakenly raised their cocktail hour pennant before Bleed corrected him. Mr. Flag then raised the Jolly Roger, allowing the Spanish to realize that they were dealing with Captain Bleed and were in big trouble.

    Despite not knowing the names for the different types of sails, Captain Bleed gave sufficient direction for them to reach the Spanish ship, after which he led his men to board...only to realize that the entire crew had joined him, and so he sent them back...but then everyone went back, too.
captain_bleed-hksa-chains
    With Bleed and Mr. Swag remaining back on the pirate ship, the rest of the crew re-boarded the ship, after which the Spaniard raised the white flag of surrender, and Bleed instructed Mr. Swag to gather the booty on the poop deck.

    A lady aboard the ship, who was the niece of the viceroy of the Dry Tortugas, appointed by their majesties, Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand, pounded on Captain Bleed and asked how dare they attack their ship and if he did not know who they were. Bleed departed for his chambers after instructing Mr. Manners to treat the lady with every courtesy, but if she gave him any trouble to clap her in irons, and to clap her mouth in irons if she kept "nattering away. While his men praised Bleed with knowing how to handle a woman, Bleed cried and pounded on his pillow in frustration, as he had no idea of how to handle a woman.

    Although his men if they were only interested in the booty, Captain Bleed convinced them to attack the port in which the viceroy dwelled, intending to destroy the Spanish fleet, anchored in the dry Tortugas, for England and the Queen.

    Catching the Spaniards napping, Bleed led his men into the fort, decapitating one of the soldiers before the man even realized it. When a real swordsman challenged him, Bleed fought him until the man collapsed in exhaustion. Bleed told the man to rest until he was ready to fight again, and then Bleed disarmed him repeatedly. After the 10th time retrieving his weapon, the Spaniard got lucky and stabbed Bleed in the shoulder.

    With their captain wounded, the pirates were easily captured and taken to confront the viceroy's niece, who announced that she wished to spare the one with whom she had fallen in love, but it turned out to be little pot-bellied pirate, as Bleed did not have the je ne sais qua that a woman liked in a man.

(Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed") - In 1543 A.D., Captain Bleed and his crew were chained to the oars of a Spanish man o'war. While his men blamed him, Bleed revealed that he had obtained a file with which they could saw through their chains, take the ship, capture the armada and sail against Spain and free the world.

    However, one of Bleed's men bumped him and asked for the file, causing Bleed to drop it down the crack between the timbers.

    Noting that there was a reason they called him Captain Bleed, the other pirates angrily took their frustrations out on him.

Comments: Created by Harvey Kurtzman (writer & penciler), Sergio Aragones.

    Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures was a series of short stories of comedic intent...not my cup of tea, but that's ok.

    As a creator-owned story, this was not likely intended by part of Earth-616.
    According to Wikipedia, in the real world (Earth-1218) and presumably Earth-616, Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand died in 1504 and 1516 A.D. The fact that they were apparently still around in 1533 A.D. would seem to indicate that this is an alternate reality.

    In further detail:

    Well, we'll start with Spain never assigning ANY viceroys to just Tortuga at any point in real history. France did, but not Spain. The closest we'd get is the Viceroy to the West Indies, a region which did include Tortuga. And that was Diego Colón between 1509 to 1518, so he can't have been appointed by Isabella, and he was gone two years after Ferdinand died and well before 1533. In 1533 Tortuga was part of Hispaniola, and ruled by a Governor rather than Viceroy, specifically Duarte de Meneses. There was a Viceroy, Antonio de Mendoza, appointed to the newly formed New Spain in 1535; that region didn't specifically include Tortuga, but was in the general region. So any way we parse it, this senorita's claim doesn't work.
--Loki

    According an Oxford University website, the average height of men in the 15th-16th Centuries was about 5'8", so I made Captain Bleed a littler taller than average.

    Assuming he did not die at the hands of his own crew after he lost his nail file, he probably died from some other unfortunate misadventure.

    This profile was completed 05/02/2025, but its publication was delayed as it was intended for the Appendix 25th anniversary's celebratory event.

Profile by Snood.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Captain Bleed should be distinguished from:


images: (without ads)
Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed," story pg. 2, panel 1 (full);
       pg. 7, panel 4 (having disarmed opponent);
       pg. 8, panel 2 (1543, in chains)
Appearances:
Harvey Kurtzman's Strange Adventures#1 "Captain Bleed" (1990) - Harvey Kurtzman (writer & penciler), Sergio Aragones (inker)

First posted: 09/01/2026
Last updated: 05/04/2025

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

Non-Marvel Copyright info
All other characters mentioned or pictured are ™  and � 1941-2099 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved. If you like this stuff, you should check out the real thing!
Please visit The Marvel Official Site at: http://www.marvel.com

Special Thanks to www.g-mart.com for hosting the Appendix, Master List, etc.!

Back to Characters