AMAZING SPIDER-MAN
Earth-97453

Real Name: Amazing Spider-Man (see comments)

Identity/Class: Alternate reality (Earth-97453) human mutate

Occupation: Pensioner;
    former adventurer

Group Membership: None

Affiliations: Super Heroes Nursing Home

Enemies: None known

Known Relatives: None

Aliases: "Mr. Spider-Man"

Base of Operations: Presumably mobile

First Appearance: Mad I#353 (January, 1997)

Powers/Abilities: The only reported ability of this reality's Spider-Man was that he could shoot webbing.

    However, it's safe to assume he possesses virtually the same abilities as his Earth-616 counterpart and most Spider-Man variants across the Multiverse. Since the obituary mentioned "his own filaments," it's safe to assume the webbing was organic and not artificial.

Height: Unrevealed (approximately 5'10") (see comments)
Weight: Unrevealed (see comments)
Eyes: Unrevealed
Hair: Unrevealed

History: (Mad I#353) - The Amazing Spider-Man was once a leading crime fighter whose popularity led to the emergence of licensed merchandise, most notably a daily comic strip. However, over time, the comic strip, like Spider-Man himself, declined in popularity. Although he attempted to reach new heights, he was consistently outperformed by his rivals, Superman and Batman, whose earnings from merchandise and feature films were far more impressive. This led to him falling into severe depression and his mental health continued to deteriorate with every sight of Superman T-shirts and Batman lunchboxes. The biggest blow to the Amazing Spider-Man came when Arnold Schwarzenegger signed on to star in Batman IV.

    As he aged, the Amazing Spider-Man was placed in the Super Heroes Nursing Home, where he ultimately committed suicide by hanging himself with his own webbing at the age of 71. As the spokesman stated: "It was the prettiest noose you'd ever want to see." He was planned to be laid to rest in the     Super Heroes Mausoleum but due to a lack of merchandising success, he was instead slated to be interred in the small-timers annex.

Comments: Created by Frank Jacobs and Steve Smallwood.

    In this reality, Amazing Spider-Man appears to be his real name. It can be assumed that his height was the same as Peter Parker-616's but his weight in the profile is listed as unrevealed, as he certainly wasn't 167 pounds by his old age.

    This humorous short story hasn't aged well, as all the jokes hinged on the lack of success of licensed Spider-Man material. While it can be said that this satire was valid when Mad I#353 was published in 1997, everything changed in the 2000s, when the Spider-Man films became box office hits, merchandise sold like hotcakes and the character himself is now one of the most famous super heroes on the planet, giving Superman and Batman a run for their money.

Profile by Mike Castle.

CLARIFICATIONS:
Earth-97453's Amazing Spider-Man has no known connections to:

images: (without ads)
Mad I#353, p15, pan1 (Amazing Spider-Man, main image)

Appearances:
Mad I#353 (January, 1997) - "Obituaries for Comic Strip Characters"  - Frank Jacobs (writer), Steve Smallwood (art), John Ficarra and Nick Meglin (editors)

First Posted: 04/15/2026
Last updated: 04/15/2026

Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.

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