THELONIUS THUSSMAN(please note that these stories are from a more mature story line and may not be appropriate for everyone)
THELONIUS THUSSMAN
(please note that these stories are from a more mature story line and may not be appropriate for everyone)
Real Name: Thelonius Thussman
Identity/Class: Alternate Reality (Earth-68320) human
Occupation: Unrevealed
Group Membership: Former unidentified (and possibly unnamed) group of teens
Affiliations: Marsha Budweiser, Elvis Omus;
at least formerly his 15,000 goldfish (those that he
had at age 14 are almost certainly dead, but maybe he continued to
collect goldfish thereafter?)
Enemies: The Erac-Ondog
Known Relatives: Wink O'Reiser (father), Mrs. Wink O'Reiser (mother)
Aliases: None known
Base of Operations: Unrevealed (presumably still in Reality-68320)
last heard from in a spaceship in an unidentified region of space;
at least formerly Earth
First Appearance: Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire (1986)
Powers/Abilities: If Thelonius had any special abilities, they are undefined.
History:
(Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire: "The
Second Book of Genesis: A Novel: BOOK ONE, Chapter One: Thelonius Thussman" (fb)) - Thelonius Thussman was the only child of real
estate czar Wink O'Reiser and his wife. In a fit of mad, patriotic
fervor (the kind of twisted zeal that swept the planet during the first
Earth-Mars war), they named their son
Thelonius Thussman in honor or their then State President, the Revered
Thussman Bharjwarj, and the Hero of the People, the man who whomped the
Martians, Generalisimo (sic) Thelonius Rigornorti.
Both Thussman Bharjwarj and Thelonius Rigornorti were implicated in an unprintable scandal that forced them, hastily and in great disgrace, to early retirements, leaving Thelonius Thussman to have been named for two of the most corrupt and reviled villains in recent history.
(Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire: "The
Second Book of Genesis: A Novel: BOOK ONE, Chapter One: Thelonius Thussman (fb)) -
Wink O'Reiser made his fortune as the sole agent for Hasidic City,
which became the largest, most lucrative housing complex on the moon.
Mrs. Wink O'Reiser was a college linguistics professor who worked weekends in the Washington D.C. Pleasure Dome, where she was the most popular Madame in the Advanced Oral Sex Sector.
With his parents often too busy to attend to him, Thelonius' childhood was quite lonely and dull. He had a few friends and desired fewer. He ate nothing but junkfood, and he collected goldfish. By his 14th birthday, Thelonius weighed over 300 lbs., and he was the proud owner of 15,000 goldfish.
(Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire: "The
Second Book of Genesis: A Novel: BOOK ONE, Chapter Two: I Was Thrilled
(fb)) - At age 15, Thelonius began to grow until what had once been a
short, fat, ugly body was now a tall, thin, ugly one. He took up with a
band of teens who loved to pretend to be thugs. They mostly stood on
street corners and pushed each other around, pawed their pimply,
brace-mouthed girlfriends and generally had a fun time.
Although typically benign, there was one time that they harmed a fly.
(Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire: "The Second Book of Genesis: A Novel: BOOK ONE, Chapter Two: I Was Thrilled (fb)) - At age 18 (the legal age for entry in the Basic Sex Sector of the Pleasure Domes), Thelonius had his first carnal encounter; the recipient of his lust was a short and flat-chested Dome-hostess named Marsha Budweiser. Thelonius considered the brief experience to be interesting but that -- like so much in life -- it failed to live up to the publicity. Regardless, upon completion of the act, he was issued a certificate stating that he was no longer a virgin and could now assume a role as a responsible member of society.
Thelonius was thrilled.
Comments: Created by J.M. DeMatteis.
This reality mirrors that of the novel that was at least started by Oscar Greenberg "The Second Book of Genesis: A Novel." Greenberg had been unable to write a good story for some time, and both he and his lover thought this novel was terrible, so I doubt that he finished it. At some point and on some level, it was supposed to be a story about God.
I for one would love to see the
full adventures of Thelonius Thussman...well, the circumstances that
led to his being on the spaceship with Elvis Omus and the Key to the
Riddle of the Universe.
I asked the man himself, and J.M. said:
Thanks
for getting in touch and reminding me about that goofy bit in the GREENBERG gn.
I
think my thought at the time was to evoke a kind of Vonnegut-like space
adventure, with a little Woody Allen sprinkled in for good measure…but it’s
been a long time, so the memory is hazy and I have no profound insights to
share. That little piece may have even been around pre-GREENBERG.
(It reads like something I might have written in my early 20s.)
One
thing I do remember: Erac-Ondog was the original name for the
(apparently) uncaring, god-like aliens in MOONSHADOW (the name eventually
became The G’l-Doses). Read it in reverse and you’ll see “God No Care”!
All
the best,
JMD
Profile by Snood.
CLARIFICATIONS:
Thelonius Thussman should be distinguished from:
Appearances:
Marvel Graphic Novel#20: Greenberg the Vampire (1986) - J.M. DeMatteis.(writer), Mark Badger (artist), Terry Kavanaugh (assistant editor), Ann Nocenti (editor)
First posted: 04/09/2024
Last updated: 04/10/2024
Any Additions/Corrections? please let me know.
Non-Marvel Copyright info
All other characters mentioned or pictured are ™ and
� 1941-2099 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved. If you
like this stuff, you should check out the real thing!
Please visit The Marvel Official Site at: http://www.marvel.com
Special Thanks to www.g-mart.com for hosting the Appendix, Master List, etc.!